Would you girls accept an invitation for a coffee on the street?

I have heard about guys that are able to persuade a girl to do that. I tried that a few times with quite negative... or rather really negative outcome. Since I do not want to ask women at work, I don't really know were to start... Can someone please help?


Most Helpful Girl

  • The negativity might be for a few different reasons, there's dodgy characters about so they might simply not like the idea just because they're just looking out for their own safety, asking a girl out on the spot like that can make them question your intentions, you have shown interest in a very forth right manner and this can be intimidating to some women.

    Some guys find it easier to be straight and up front and do that and some find it easier to go slowly with someone they're fond of, I think the second option works best either way. It's nice for women to know you're interested if you show consistent interest and THEN ask her if she would like coffee, it shows respect for her space and time. Asking a girl immediately without really knowing her might make her feel you're slightly desperate and that would lead her to question your motives and you as a person.

    Be brave, slow and steady wins the race ;)

    • Thanks for your response. As to the "...motives..." - as I wrote in a comment above: Isn't it kind of clear what intentions/motives the man always has? Isn't it actually more honest to come forth and express that intentions instead of beating around the bush and telling those "sweet lies"?

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What Girls Said 3

  • Noway.

    You should go out and socialize. I read a study before that proves the majority of people know each other through work, college or a course they take. Take a language class, play group sports, volunteer, etc...anything that involves the presence of a lot of people.

    • I guess that could work actually. Basically all of my former relationships were with girls from school, work, sports, etc.

  • if I know a person, yes, but not from a stranger. I'd be worry about my safety and question your intentions.

    • Well, this "...question your intentions" is kind of interesting. Isn't it kind of clear what intentions the man always has? Isn't it actually more honest to come forth and express that intentions instead of beating around the bush and telling those "sweet lies"?

  • YES if he looks likE bRADLEY cOOPer


What Guys Said 4

  • Yeah, it can work. You're going to get a relatively low response rate, but you can ask a lot of strangers out for coffee, so it can be more effective then slowly making friends then asking one out every couple months. Just keep your head up. She might have a boyfriend, she might not be interested in dating, she might be busy, she might prefer guys different from you, who knows.

    As said in another answer, don't just ask out, try to make conversation, flirt, if you get some flirt back, either ask for coffee or ask for her number.

    • I guess that my "straight to the thing" approach comes as an effect of my profession being very close to computers and programming. You don't beat around the bush with a computer, you just tell it straight what to do... :) This conversation thing always seemed to me like a waste of time when I believe both sides already know what are the ultimate intentions...

    • First off, you're not like that because you work with computers, you like working with computers because you are like that.

      You need to recognize that for women, conversation IS one of the points. Don't just view it as a means to an end, take the time to learn to enjoy it.

    • Wow, you seem to have a better insight into me then I have :) The second paragraph is very wise, I think. Learning to enjoy the conversation itself seems to be a very logical thing to do.

  • You don't just ask her for a coffee, you see a girl reading a book on a bench just start a conversation, lovely day isn't it? then go from there, but you have to flirt and show clear beyond friend intentions then after like 15 minutes if you've built enough comfort and rapport say

    "hey I was actually on my way to get coffee, you interested in a cup?"

    a.k.a Instadate

    • Your advice seems very "professional". I think you have to have quite a success with women.

    • well success means different things to different people, so to some I may be the most successful guy in the world. to others, not so much

  • I haven't asked out a woman for coffee on the street, but I did pick up a total stranger in the grocery store for drinks later in the week. It's not as crazy or as hard as you might think. You just start with an innocent conversation, gauge her potential interest by whether she wants to engage in conversation with you and by reading her body language as you go along. You don't ask her out unless the signs are positive.

    • If I could only read the body language right... :(

    • It is a skill that is well worth pursuing. You can start by watching other people in conversation. Note that women face one another directly, while men are always at an angle- to avoid the "threat". Note how close they get... where the personal space boundary is. A physical object such as a desk between two people provides protection to someone who is nervous. Eye contact, touching- it all speaks volumes. Find a good book on the subject- you will be glad you did.

    • Thanks for the advice. A good book is probably a good way to start.

  • its kinda creepy...but...it works if you play it right