Would you put these people in the physically undesirable category?

Most people start dating and relationships (or even hook ups or other sexual activities) somewhere during their teenage years. All the people I know started this when they were teenagers. Are people who are in their 20's and still have not started dating, relationships and other sexual things generally physically undesirable/physically unattractive? Whether it's because they are fat, short or even maybe because they are facially hideous. Out of all the people you know who are in this position, do they appear to be physically undesirable? Be HONEST.

I am in this position also. I have yet to go on a date and I've never had a girlfriend and I am still a virgin. And I am 22, 23 in a couple of months. I have asked girls out and let them know I am interested but I always get rejected. I think maybe it's because I am really short. I'm pretty sure it's not my personality because everyone I know compliments me on that. So I have come to the conclusion that I must be physically undesirable.

Your thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not true.

    My sister is a year younger than I am, I'm 22. I started dating sort of in middle school but I haven't had a relationship in probably...oooh...since 06?

    My sister hasn't had a relationship at all, she's very "picky" when it comes to guys. She's cute, big boobs...but yeah she has a bit of a weight problem. Not like hideously overweight that she causes earthquakes, but my sister has a little pooch. Okay she looks a little pregnant...

    But she works 2 jobs and goes to school full time to be a psychologist. So she doesn't really have time or the desire to find a boyfriend or whatever. Yes, she's still a virgin.

    My buddy just lost his virginity and he's my age. Not that he's not desirable either, I wouldn't go there because we've been friends for years and I would feel really weird being the devirginizer. But recently he got a girlfriend and he's very happy.

    And he's only had 1 relationship other than this one.

    Everyone is different.

    Sex is overrated anyway. Trust me, I've been knee deep in lovers for 4 years now. Not because I don't want a relationship, it's just, I don't think I'm able to have a healthy one. Because my relationships have always ended in failure.

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    • > Sex is overrated anyway. Trust me, I've been knee deep in lovers for 4 years now.

      If it's overrated why are you knee deep in lovers? ;)

    • Cuz sometimes a vibrator just doesn't get the job done.

What Girls Said 3

  • Actually, science indicates that out bodies are not actually ready for procreative activities till our early 20s. The period where we're invariably horny is a developmental phase (in terms of hormones, etc.). Some people are simply unable to distinguish between basic hormonal responses (which may be more intense for us t deal with when they are first manifesting themselves) and real attraction, so they have sex after feeling that first hormonal "jump start" response. Many have sex at that point. Afterwards, having sex just becomes another thing to do -- like playing the DS... It loses its greater value. Moreover, less educated activity can lead to STD contraction, pregnancy, etc.

    My point is that starting in your late 20s is still natural. Just put yourself out there, ripe for the picking.

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  • i do think its a fair generalization to make. I'm one of them. I'm definitely not ugly but I'm fat so > physically undesirable to most guys that id actually want to date. I have been hit on but even when a cute guy likes me, I still won't go through with anything but that's another story.

    there are a lot of other reasons, like how I view myself (which is tied into my fatness lol) that contribute. if I wanted to have sex and date, honestly, I could. however I still fall into that group because I'm fat.

    then again I know a lot of uggos who date and have sex and a lot of fat people who do too. I know pretty people who are in shape who rarely date if at all. so while I think its safe to say that less people are attracted to physically undesirable people, which will impact how they see themselves and the opportunities they have to date, its not an exclusive rule.

    being a short guy is rough though. good luck with that. I'm sure there are some girls who don't have a preference for taller guys. I've seen short guys with dates. my dad isn't quite as short as you are but he's still short - 5'6 maybe. and my mom is gorgeous so...

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  • Are you asking whether you are physically undesirable BECAUSE you have not started dating etc? Or are you asking if the fact that you have not started dating could be an indication that you are physically undesirable?

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    • Exactly how short are you?

    • Show All
    • I guess that would be the best option. And what are your responses for the 2 questions you have asked in your answer?

    • The first, definitely not. The second, possibly. It's not necessarily your height or any specific thing, but clearly there is SOME reason why you are being rejected. It could be something about the specific girls who you're approaching. Or it could be something about you. Either way, I don't know enough to say.

What Guys Said 6

  • I'ts definitely a contributing factor. If you have a good personality that will prevail though especially as you get older. Try asking out someone whose also less physically attractive. My best friend is 21 and hasn't ever had a girlfriend or been intimate with a female but he choses to be that way. He's super smart, tall, decent looking, and has great social skills but has rejected a bunch of girls interest in him. He claims they aren't worth his time and he'd rather be doing other things than dealing with most women. He could be a total player but has no desire he claims it's too easy and just wants to find a super smart girl.

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  • Males I know who are virgins in their early 20's for reasons other then religion, its generally about confidence and social skills.

    I was 20.

    You've asked girls out? What, ever in 23 years? How many girls did you ask out this week?

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  • I'm almost 20 and never really dated yet , not had sexual contact. Girls say I'm good looking , I'm approached by girls sometimes , but I'm just too romantic/chivalry/nice guy(?) or not sharing the feeling or whatever , it hasn't been 'right' so far ...

    how short are you ? I'm 5'7"

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    • I'm 5'4''. You can laugh if you want.

    • I would indeed see that as a problem in finding a girl , even with 57 I feel that it might be a little bit more to be good , HOWEVER , I wouldn't laugh at it , and I think there are girls that are smaller , or girls who like a smaller guy ( I sometimes see that ) I wouldn't give up hope yet , you could try online , to make sure you meet more girls that are interested...

  • Well of course not. I mean, you've seen ugly people in relationships, haven't you? Often with people who seem "out of their league." So you could very well be an attractive person who, for one reason or another, just hasn't met the right person yet. Unfortunately, looks do matter a lot in dating, but they're not the only thing that matter, and they're not the only reason for your romantic status, whatever it may be. If you're self-conscious about your body and your appearance, well, join the club, that's part of human nature, but since in most cases none of us can do anything about it, the only solution is to soldier on and remember that there's no one out there who is truly and completely undesirable.

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  • I'm 22, never had sex, and never had a relationship before. From your perspective, does that make me unattractive based on how I look?

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    • To me, no it wouldn't. Maybe I am being biased though because I am in the same position you are. But I would like to see the views of people who are experienced in that area of life and see if it differs from our opinion.

  • Obviously not. I am butt ugly and I get tons of dates and women. You need to look into working your confidence, sense of humour, social skills, dressing, confidence, and just have a better understanding of what the opposite gender is all about and what they want. My mom gave this to me when I was young and she imparted a lot of of knowledge on the females. The rest I learned from trial and error and watching others. Good luck.

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