A couple days back my girlfriend and I were on the subway when a couple about our age (i.e. college-aged) The girl had this large burn scar that covered most of her left hand and arm. She didn't really seem to be self-conscious of it but it's just one of those things that would turn most guys off, or at least the shallow ones.
My girlfriend later made a comment to the effect of how sorry she felt for the girl and how lucky she was to have a great (and good-looking) guy who loved her. While it's true he could have presumably gotten any number of good looking women, and lots of guys would be turned off by the scar I wasn't so sure she was right.
It's hard to say since they were just strangers but I know some guys seek out girls with some small problem like that since they know she's less likely to cheat and/or probably not too picky when it comes to guys. Plus people react exactly like my girlfriend did and think he's a saint.
I just nodded to my girlfriend and didn't say any of this, but I would have argued that guys like that aren't always better people than shallow guys they can just tolerate something that turns the really those guys off and enjoy everyone thinking highly of them.
Do you agree or disagree with my position? Yes? No? Why?
"Man, how did you get so smart at what, sixteen? It took me years to learn slightly defective chicks are the way to go. I once went out with this girl with a baby arm, insane in the sack, plus when she grabbed my d**k with her little hand it looked gigantic. " -Andy (from Weeds)
Right, I guess what I'm saying is it's rare for people to have both inner beauty and outer beauty, especially so for guys because, in general, a girls looks matter more to guys than vice versa.
I think there are some good guys out there that will still love a girl and think she's beautiful no matter. With me, I have horrible skin and I scar really easily so my face is basically completely discolored and gross. However, I've perfected my make up enough so that when I take time to do it right, you don't really notice. I'm reallyyyy self conscious about it and I don't let ANYONE see me without make up. My boyfriend of a few months finally convinced me to show him what I looked like without make up and he said he loved me either way and that I was still beautiful. That was the best feeling in the world and made me feel so much better and more secure. So I guess if a guy really loves a girl, outside appearances don't really matter as much and are less noticed.
Yeah, I think you are completely right. People seek out relationships in which they will feel like a good person, like they are doing the right thing or it will make them look good. But it is not only guys that do it. But it's also true that some guys just don't care about that, they are all for personality over looks. (Let me know if you ever find a guy like this!)
I am average looking and to be honest, when it comes to guys I am more attracted to the uglier then more handsome and "perfect-like" guys. Yes it may probably be because I feel he is less likely to cheat, but it may also be because over time I learned to find beauty in things that don't "fit the profile" of perfection our society created. In the end, that's how I came to love myself and that's how I came to be attracted to guys who are not good looking by most peoples' standards. Not to mention I have this really bad experience of handsome guys coming on to me, in a really annoying manner displaying their superficial personalities without anything interesting or even properly funny to say. Now I am not saying all handsome guys are superficial, its just a little wall around me due to the probability of him being annoying.
what a conniving way to look at it. I don't think he's dating her because her burn scar makes him out to be a saint and that he's guaranteed that because of it, she won't cheat on him. I would like to think that he is with her because he likes her and he's aware that a scar is a scar and not much can be done about it. but then again, maybe he processes things like you do and is dating her for other reasons.