How do you get over ugly duckling syndrome?

Through out most of puberty, I was ugly. Acne, braces, glasses, no fashion sense...if it was bad, I had it.

Now I'm in my early 20's. I'm no beauty queen but I'm not nearly as ugly as I used to be. According to outside opinions from various sources (guys, girls, friends, strangers), I am at least moderately attractive to most (that translates to "You're cute but nothing special").

I can look in the mirror or at pictures and see that I am better looking than I used to be. However, I still feel like the same ugly girl. I have a hard time talking to people because I imagine they're just thinking about how ugly I am. When I'm walking out in public I stare at the ground and don't look up. I can't even make eye contact with a cashier or waiter.

What can I do to get rid of these feelings?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • fake it till you make it. and speak highly of yourself. don't say your no beauty queen, you have to change the way you feel about yourself and it starts with your attitude and how to talk about yourself. even if you have to fake it, do it, the more you repeat something the more u'll believe it subconsciously. obviously your not ugly anymore, your mind just hasn't caught up with your looks now. hold your head up, look people in the eye and tell yourself your beautiful everyday before you leave the house.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If you think you're unattrative, people will also view you as less attractive.

    Just be confident, there's not much more that I can tell you.

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  • This might put you out of your comfort zone, but try to make eye contact and speak directly to people sometimes. It pretty much contradicts everything you've been doing, but that's the best way to do it. I too was one of those people that was afflicted with acne (moderately bad acne might I add) and braces all through high school, I look better and feel better now and I found that the most effective method of boosting your confidence is to go outside your comfort zone and to do things that you wouldn't normally do. Get out there and make that new face known.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You have to resolve the past

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