Were his words harsh?

My boyfriend of a year recently told me that I need to get my upper lip waxed and it made me feel insecure/embarrassed. I know he doesn't mean harm but was this right of him to say?


0|0
7|9

Most Helpful Guy

  • There isn't really a right way to answer this. It's one of those blunt, awkward moments. I think these are the main points to consider.

    1. He has probably wanted to say this for a while, but didn't know how to put it.

    2. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but also wants to convey his message.

    3. This isn't something major. It's not like he called you fat or ugly or anything.

    4. It's not a matter of right or wrong. There isn't really a nice or sensitive way to put something like this.

    If I were you, I would let this go. Not worth dwelling on. Go and get it waxed if you want.

    2|1
    0|0
    • Thanks Paul. Yea my boyfriend is a good guy and I know he would never say anything to hurt me. It just made me feel insecure about myself, that's all. Thanks for your help :)

    • Exactly right. Hopefully he was tactful and caring when he said it (you didn't say), but be thankful that he's honest with you. It isn't easy to say that kind of thing to someone, knowing that they'll probably be at least a little hurt, but how much better is your relationship when you can be totally honest with each other?

What Guys Said 8

  • 6Paul11 really put it good. the only thing I can add is that I think you should talk about how that made you feel. Tell him how it made you feel and maybe suggest some other ways to put it if there is ever another situation like that. If you want him to keep you looking your best, tell him that you appreciate the message, not how it was delivered. If you want him to leave to his own problems you need to tell him.

    Remember, your in a relationship were communication is the most important thing. If you don't address the little things they will build up and become big things.

    As for Right or wrong? I think that that was the right thing for him to do.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Take it in a positive way. If he didn't love you he could have kept quiet about it. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind

    1|1
    0|0
  • Depends. Do you look like Tom Selleck?

    0|3
    0|0
  • Yeah it was right of him to say, you're in a relationship, honesty is important.

    0|0
    0|0
  • That is kinda harsh but there's no way to say that in a nice way, and that's something that definitely has to be said because who wants to date a chick with a mustache

    0|0
    0|0
  • He is a good guy for telling you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sometimes hinting around the bush isn't just going to work he had to say it, he didn't mean harm just take it with a grain of salt!, don't feel insecure

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hes a stronger man than I. I kinda stopped talking to this one girl because of something like that- I didn't know if I should say something or not..so I just stopped talking to her (yeah I know, Real mature :).

    Gotta give the dude credit- real ballsy.

    brownie points for honesty though.

    it is what it is, and no he's not wrong.

    you don't want someone to change because of your own insecurities, you won't believe them as much.

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 7

  • I'd say he could have done better to word it in a more tactful way, but consider if you had an embarrassing mishap that you didn't notice (trail of toilet tissue hanging out the back of your pants, the back hem of your skirt tucked into your underwear or tights). Assuming he wasn't shockingly blunt, wouldn't you like him to let you know?

    2|0
    0|0
  • Honey take it with a grain of salt and appreciate his honesty! My guy told me that I get really really musty when I sweat. He told me that it doesn't smell pleasent. I at first was a bit embarrassed about it but he offered to help me look for something to tone down my smell and he also offered to go to the doctors with me to get some medical help for it. I felt a lot better about it and it made me happy to know that he accepts this imperfection in me and is willing to be there for me while I get help for it.

    He's being honest because he loves you. Appreciate his honesty! :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • There isn't a rule as to whether it was right or wrong of him to say it. It also depends on whether he usually is so direct, how close the two of you are and how he said it.

    Think of it this way - it's better for you to know that your upper lip is hairy to him and to get something done about that than it is for you to NOT know and walk around with him secretly being disgusted that his girlfriend has a mustache.

    0|0
    0|0
  • okay...would you tell him if there was something going on with his physical appearance that you felt he could improve on BUT was a bit harsh ? I would hope your answer would be YES. if you can't be totally honestly with each other then what's the point of being together ... Could have been one of his friends who asked him in front if you if you believed in facial hair on a women...

    0|0
    0|0
  • He probably could have said it nicer but there really is no right or wrong answer as to if he should have mentioned it at all. I say, at least he pointed out something that you CAN fix.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It might have sounded a little harsh but it sounds like it needs to be done. Get it waxed and don't let his remark get you down. After you get it done, show it to him and ask "This looks great now, don't you think?"

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes he was right in saying so, he cares about you that's what you do when you care.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...