How do you feel about people telling you that your boyfriend/girlfriend is unattractive?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months and I get people from telling me all the time that my boyfriend is 'ugly' or 'not good enough' for me. Obviously if I'm dating him, I like him a lot, and I'm not just going to break up with him. There's more to him than his face, believe it or not.

It kind of bothers me that people can say stuff like that about people without even knowing them.

Has anyone ever done this to you? How did you react?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • So glad to see a question like this! I know that it really makes me mad when people say that. It makes them sound so shallow. I just don't see why that would ever be the "right" thing to say to you, unless they're referring to your ex.

    From experience, my boyfriend's best female friend said that I am "cute" but he "can do much better." Oh, and I've never even met the girl before, let alone spoken to her. Just because you added me on Facebook, that doesn't mean you know me at all. Unfortunately this was a week ago, so I have yet to react to it. I guess the best we can do is shake it off, right?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Yeah people have said that to me, and I just ignored it. It's not for them to tell me how I feel about someone. It's your relationship, so it's up to you to decide if he's good enough for you or not. Just ignore them, they'll eventually stop.

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  • That happens to my girlfriend sometimes, but the same reason as you have, I won't breakup with her because other people think that way. She has more important things going on for her than just her looks. It's a bad idea to base someone only off of their looks.

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  • Who are the people saying this?

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    • people from school, and even some friends!

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    • now that I think about it, the 'friends' that have said this are really worthless to me... not good friends at all.

    • see?

      I can help with the rest

      but it is good you are reevaluating things now before you waste any more time, stress or compassion

What Girls Said 11

  • I think the best thing to do is to tell your friends that you find him attractive and that you love him. It's none of their business as to why you two are dating. You two obviously care a lot about each other or you wouldn't be in a relationship. I think it's pretty rude of your friends to be saying that, I would tell them that.

    Everyone has their preferences and they are in no position to judge. People can be rude and I have heard these kinds of comments about people a lot. It just goes to show how shallow those people are, and how ugly their personalities are that they believe the only reason someone is dating someone else is for their looks. Looks aren't everything, as you already pointed out. Those people just need to stay out of stuff that isn't their business :)

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  • Oh yes. Some of my girl friends only like really macho-looking guys, so they'll poke fun about my boyfriend being "scrawny" and "funny-looking." It makes me feel angry at their rudeness and also protective because I would NEVER want my boyfriend to hear that from someone. He's my best friend, so their insults just make me not want to be friends with THEM.

    I actually kind of let loose on one of my "friends" for saying that. "Maybe if you paid less attention to looks and more on personality and red flags, you wouldn't accidentally date a**holes." A low blow, but she got the point... I wouldn't recommend that ha ha but I do think you should stand up for him just by saying "you don't even know him" or "well, *I* think he's attractive." You'd want him to do the same for you, right? :) Plus, making it awkward for them will make them avoid saying those kinds of things in the future, ha.

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  • Yes. And I didn't care, he looked amazingly sexy to me. Attractiveness is REALLY in the eye of the holder. Our perceptions might be different. It's kind of rude for people to just bring it up though, unless you asked. I think some friends also feel they are doing a good job by complementing you.

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  • I hate when people say someone has an ugly girlfriend or boyfriend. First of all, it isn't their boyfriend...so who says this person will be their type? If they aren't attracted, maybe that's a good thing...since it's not their boyfriend! And next, People get into relationships because... they want a relationship. They can decide what they want and what they don't care for having in exchange for something else they admire about the person. And finally, don't people know that beauty is subjective? If You think they're ugly, that doesn't make it so. sry, rant over

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  • Its never happened to me but I would probably just say that "its a good thing "you" (meaning the person telling you this) aren't dating him".

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  • yeah..none of my friend would dare call my boyfriend "ugly" in front of me.. you need to make then know that they should respect him...ideally it should go without saying but anyway...

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  • i've been in the same situation, and frankly I didn't care about what other people thought about his looks. its about what YOU think is what really matters. I'm just saying...

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  • 'up your ziggy with a wa-wa brush'

    that shuts em up nicely :)

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  • So is he ugly or not?

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    • Are you a bitch or not?

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    • he's not ugly. he's not one of those all around unattractive people. there's really no reason that people are saying these things.

      and kain, I doubt you're ugly.. don't listen to her, haha.

    • I've dated ugly guys before and people use to say to me he's pretty ugly and I would not try to deny it because clearly to any normal person's standards, he was in fact ugly. on the plus side there wasn't a lot of competition

  • My close friends didn't say that. But who are just friends sometimes say that. I get pissed for being so rude. Anyhow more I get pissed is they look at the looks. Looks fade in time. People who love guys for their looks, later they don't. They get over it. But the ones who love the another for their personality, that love stays until he is bad. And I only tell my friend I don't like him when he is being a jackass other than that I never said anything like that. I don't go for only looks. The ones who go are dumb chicks or guys :P (A)

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    • my close friends aren't attracted to him, but there's a difference between that and being rude about saying he's not attractive at all. there are always the aquaintances or "friends" that like to be jackasses.

  • If I find someone attractive and my friends find him ugly, I'm actually pleased! It means I don't have to worry about anyone flirting with him etc, with the added bonus that he's still attractive to me. I think your friends are really shallow, I would never tell my friends a guy wasn't good enough for her based purely on looks, if he was an a**hole, then yeah, but if he was unattractive to me and beautiful to her, why be a d***?

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