Is it probably because I'm ugly/plain looking?

I am a college student and have not made one friend. I don't have any friends, and the friends that I've had in high school, I've lost connection with. I don't talk to anybody during my classes...and everyday feels very monotonous. After my classes end, I go to the library and study, then go home (I'm a commuter student).

(No sugar coating, please).

Usually, if one has no friends, does it usually happen because of an unattractive physical appearance? DO pretty girls get approached a lot by people in lecture classes? What about the whole theory about pretty people being perceived as unapproachable?

Do appearances play a large part in determining the number of aquaintances/friends?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well there's really no way to tell how attractive you are without a picture... but it really isn't that hard to at least make an acquaintance in your class. Especially when the professor asks to get in groups, you just sort of introduce yourself and talk about the subject, then from there who knows you could find your best friend. I'm sort of quiet, laid back, not the first to approach someone kind of guy, and I've at least met some nice cool people who I can talk to.

    Just have a friendly attitude and don't be afraid to talk, you have a lot more in common with people than you probably think.


What Guys Said 3

  • You don't make friends in big classes. All the people around you acting buddy-buddy already knew each other from something else.

    You should be able to look in a mirror and be honest with yourself about your looks. You know what ugly is.


    You will make friends, no matter your looks, if you join a social group. Be it a church group, rec sports, club, or sorority.

    Personally, I joined the sailing club, and I made so many friends immediately. Most colleges have like hundreds of clubs.

    If you can't do that, then find someone who looks kinda alone, target them, and try and get a study group going. (How do you think you did on that quiz? Man, I'm not stupid, but the prof's questions are slipping me up! (even if that's a lie) You know what? We should study sometime in the library together----BOOM friend.)

  • Take time to reread what you just wrote.

    How are you supposed to make friends when you say, "I don't talk to anybody during my classes". Coming to class at least 15 minutes early gives you lots of time for a small talk. During a class break you can small talk to people who sit beside you.

    "After my classes end, I go to the library and study" - again, no one has time to talk to you. If I were your classmate and saw you in the library I would ignore or at most smile at you (library is a quiet, study place)

    "then go home (I'm a commuter student)." - are you enrolled in any of the college clubs?

    You sound like you know what you want and that you go to college only to get good grades.

    ** Smile is the best Ice Breaker.

    • Edit: You just want to hear that you don't have friends because you are "ugly/plain looking". That's not the case! You are just unapproachable. One of my best friends is so not attractive. However, everybody loves her because she is so hyper, optimistic and peoples person.

  • nice, friendly and funny people attract other people. shy, distant and insecure people don't have many friends because they give off a "stay away" vibe. I don't know if you're ugly. upload a picture/send me a link and I will give you my honest opinion. maybe you dress nerdy?

    • what do you mean by dressing nerdy?

    • Show All
    • well, I have a lot of self esteem issues and I' am (was) depressed (clinically)

    • depressed people give off a "stay away/desperate" vibe. they tend to be distant/aren't funny/might seem arrogant. you have self esteem issues = insecure. again: these personality traits make it difficult to make friends. take antidepressants to get rid of your depression/get rid of your negative vibe. once you get rid of depression, it'll be easier to find friends.

What Girls Said 3

  • Well first off, I can't tell you if you're ugly/plain looking with no pic. And no, it could just mean that you aren't approachable or that you don't open up to people easily. You have to try to talk to new people too, you can't wait for them to approach you. I don't think looks matter in college in classes. No one really cares and they're usually there just to do what they have to do. In college you pretty much already have your friends established or you meet them out of class in the dorm rooms/parties.

  • Looks have nothing to do with friendship - it's all personality.

    You not talking to people or interacting - well that's your #1 problem don't you think?

    People can't read your mind - they don't know how great, funny, absolutely wonderful you are if you never open up.

    There are kids at my school with deformities in their faces who are quite popular around campus - and good looking kids who are loners.

    You want friends - you have to put in the effort to get them. Stop waiting for life to happen for you - make it happen.

    • then when do looks matter/?

    • Usually not until you get into dating. Guys are more picky about female looks so. As far as friends go - meh. Most people like to hang with someone who is interesting, can make them laugh and have a good time socializing with. Sounds like a lot to live up to - but once you just let your personality flow and connect with other people it's second nature.

  • No. Appearance to me has little to do with who you're friends with. If it it matters to your peers, theyre not worth the friendship anyways. I'm in college too and mostly hqve acquantances: people you se in class or those who arewishy-washy and talk to you when they need something. I say you should join clubs, volunteer, be yourself(confident) and smile ;)