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Eye contact?

If I can't get eye contact, should I give up? It seems to me that if you were attracted at all to a guy, you'd let him catch eye contact...right?

Most Helpful Opinion

  • This does not mean you should give up. They say that fortune favors the bold. The difference between guys who ultimately get what they want and those who don't is that the guys who succeed take more risks. They are not afraid to just go for it, so you should always approach a woman if you're interested in talking to her. Otherwise, you'll never know what might have happened, plus you need to see what kind of girl she is. You could be the coolest person she's ever met. If you do not try, you will have failed automatically. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Wayne Gretzky said that. And it's true. The other trick to doing cold approaches is you have to go outside your comfort zone in order to make progress (being comfortable approaching anyone). Go into it with the mindset of just interacting, not from the position of getting her to like you. If you do this, and don't care about the outcome, you can NEVER BE REJECTED. Approach anxiety is a huge deal for a lot of people, but it can be overcome just by doing it often. The more you do it, the better you'll get. Plus, your odds of finding a woman who is good for you increases dramatically. Think about that. It's not about whether you're good enough for her, it's about seeing who's good enough for you. If you only meet 5 women, what are the odds of getting one good one? If you talk to 100 women, just casually, your odds increase. There is nothing wrong with talking to as many people as possible, because the most important decision a guy can make is who he will be in a relationship with. Unfortunately, most people spend more time planning their next vacation that they do deciding who to marry.

    • This should be the best answer +1

    • Wow, that ...was...beautiful...I myself am going to take this advice, it's made more sense then anything I've heard on the internet.

What Experts Said

What Girls Said 25

  • If you are sitting there staring at her trying to make eye contact and she won't make it, she's probably just not into you. I mean I am shy around guys that I like but if he's trying to hold eye contact, if I like him I will look back at him no matter how nervous I am even if it means forcing myself. So yeah my guess is that she's not interested.

    • Ok,thanks for the honesty. that's what I thought.

  • Nah, some people are just shy!

  • eye contact means nothing most times. It can range from accidental to pure intent. I'd say read into body language more or try to exhibit interest yourself by communication, or even by observation. "What time is it? Thank you, I'm running late for ____." Open a dialogue... something! :)

  • somtimes that irl doesn't want to give a guy that she likes eye contact because theydont want you to think that they are staring at you or reveal that they like you by making eye contact I however, make eye conatct with a person when I like them you should always make eye contact with a person if your talking to them anyway

  • No I don't think you should give up I am a shy girl and the last time I was hangin out with a guy I barely gave him eye contact and he told me that I didn't even look at him and I am interested him in but I think you should give a little more time just beacuse mayb there is no eye contact doesn't mean their isint an attraction just depends on the girl and how she shows it.

  • Never, ever give up, unless she outright rejects you. There could be million reasons, why she doesn't notice you right away. Make her to notice you, you deserve a chance!

  • Give up . I'm kind of a shy girl, but I'll at least give the eye contact if I'm interested. If I'm not I won't give the contact, and if youv'e tried over and over agin its not gona happen, I'm not interested.

  • I actually well avoid eye contact towards the guys I am interested in. I'm too shy to look directly at them.

    • Oh. Well, they probably think you don't like them.

    • Sometimes, but I've realized that if I look away, and then look back and smile, and then look away, it's seen as flirty. so we both win. I'm shy, but we're still flirting, and I'm not ignoring him.

  • No matter who, i have trouble looking anyone in the eyes for longer than a second at a time, i dont know how it eill efect my relationships in the future but i dont think it should be too big of a problem

  • Im sorry but if i do that, it means I completely dont notice that guy in my class. like I might even not recall him every being in my class. Dont let me get you down. if it seems like she is trying not to look at you, she may be interested.

  • Not at all, I know I'm pretty shy/nervous so I try not to catch eye contact for fear that the guy will think/know I like him and reject me/ make a big deal out of it in a rude way. Its happened before so I don't risk for it to happen again

    • i'm glad i'm the only one who does that

    • im not*

  • don't give up the girl or whoever you are trying to get eye contact from may be really timid, she could even know you are staring at her but doesn't know how to deal with it.Trust me this has happened to me and I regret not looking back so in the end "don't give up" hopefully this helps (:

  • Yes if I were u I would flash a smile

  • I like to watch others eyes, maybe because I am myopia? Ha ha

  • I Would ... but not all girls do .. some can some can not .. it depends on the character

  • i think it's either extreme.

    if a girl is really shy/lacks experience, she would look anywhere at the guy

    if she isn't as shy and inexperienced, it generally also depends on personality. I have a lot more eye contact with people I'm interested in. how else will I gauge their reactions? besides, I feel it's a way they know I'm paying attention. (well, it doesn't mean I actually am.. I have a tendency to zone out a lot- but it's a trick you learn when your prof is explaining something and you could care less..)

  • thats weird that eye contact is not their. whenever I'm with a guy I make eye contact. eye contact is a way of establising a sense of being with another person. eye contact is essential for a healthy relation ship. try to make her meet eyes with you. never give up unless you don't want to be in that situation. goodluck.


  • no, not if the girl you let is shy. no, you should give up, just try saying hi to get her to look at you.

  • No...I'm shy...so when I see a guy I like, or might like and then notice that he's staring at me, I just turn away quickly because I'm sort of afraid to face him. But would really like to be approached! So...no...a girl's actions are not always so logical or smart, and a lot of the time they just don't make any sense. xD

  • eye contact doesn't neccesserily mean she likes or doesn't like you. she could be shy- in that case you'll probably never catch her staring. Ask a close friend to see if she stares when she thinks no one is looking. Or you could go up and say hi or introduce yourself. maybe she's never even noticed you. either way don't give up. good luck!

  • Personally, I'm shy but I make eye contact with the guy I like all the time. But other shy girls might not be able to do this so don't give up yet.

  • Not always the case

    She could be shy

  • not really. shy girls especially have a tough time with eye contact

  • Yes, you're right, you'd have eye contact at the very least.

    Yes, you should move on.

  • it right yes.

What Guys Said 15

  • If you're forcing him to look at you all the time, then you should, but if not, the other person is probably shy.

  • No, not necessarily. Some times, depending on the past and experience of the said girl, their reactions and mannerisms may be complete opposite to that of the norm. Just being she shows no or minimal eye contact does not mean she's not interested. If anything, complete avoidance of eye contact on her behalf shows she's shy, more specifically shy in your presence. All in all thought its mostly situationally based, so don't give up mate, if you really like her, then keep chasing until your sure she's not interest :)

    Do you agree, mate? @dcuber3

  • If a women is trying to give me eye contact it only works some of the time. Because I wasn't aware of the invitation signs that women give us guys.
    I was out with two friends at Cow girls Inc. I was dancing and having fun, and I didn't know that there were some women giving me eye contact so I could go over a talk with them. A friend told me later after we left that there were women wanting me to go talk to them. I didn't know any better. So ladies it isn't we are shy or not wanting to talk, we may not be aware of the signs you are showing us.

  • Girls will never look at a guy looking at them if they're interested... Looking in their direction (head turned) is enough for her to think you find her attractive. By not looking at her, she gets the chance to check you out. Then after a few seconds, look at her and don't look away until she does. If you lack confidence... The right eye contact with women will rid that. It puts you at a whole new level among the rest around you.

  • My problem is if I look a girl like in the eyes in a conversation, I start not making sense because I get lost in her eyes and forget where I'm at or saying. I've been asking the same question myself about this, I'm great with signs that girls give ask long as they are not directed towards me, but if there has ever been any pointed my direction I haven't ever noticed, likely reason I've never had a girlfriend.

  • Depends if they are shy read the body language, females are wonderful thinkers they provoke entice so knowing this read the nonverbal language. Eyes are too obvious what are the actions saying which takes time and commitment...good luck

  • eye contact as a dude I always found harsh, mostly because I'm worried at other things than than conversation on hand aye. I tend to get really side tracted looking at a girl in the eyes myself, I'm like talking but then on the other hand thinking, "Omg like what if my face is doing something weird and she's thinking like, WTF?" Then as in thinking stuff like that I start wandering and drifting off and things start to seem seeing and awkward. IMO eye contact is not the decider in a relationship, overtime possibly but like first few days and starting to go out I would not think so. Post that maybe things are a bit weird...

  • She may be a bit intimidated

  • Just cause you don't get eye contact, doesn't mean you give up.

    What it could be is that she may not notice you.

    If she doesn't know you, first option, but if she does, I would consider it to be her being nervous around you.

  • Eye contact does mean a lot. Does she see you looking her way and immediately turns her head to avoid eye contact? If that's the case , you have no chance at all. That is the worse possible scenario. Does she look back for a moment but you can see the look on her face is puzzled, like why is he looking at me? that could mean , she thinks your a creeper, or she thinks she might know you but can't figure out who you are. If she looks back and then looks away but looks back one or 2 times more , she might be shy or checking you out. You might have a chance here. And lastly if she looks back and smiles and either turns away or makes direct eye contact and keeps smiling. You won, move in.

  • She's just shy keep goin
    If she looks irritated though you should stop

  • that's not fully true. she could be the shy kind of girl.

  • No he may just be shy. You should attempt to cross his path and get his attention.

  • I don't look at their eyes I look a her body

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