If I can't get eye contact, should I give up? It seems to me that if you were attracted at all to a guy, you'd let him catch eye contact...right?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This does not mean you should give up. They say that fortune favors the bold. The difference between guys who ultimately get what they want and those who don't is that the guys who succeed take more risks. They are not afraid to just go for it, so you should always approach a woman if you're interested in talking to her. Otherwise, you'll never know what might have happened, plus you need to see what kind of girl she is. You could be the coolest person she's ever met. If you do not try, you will have failed automatically. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Wayne Gretzky said that. And it's true. The other trick to doing cold approaches is you have to go outside your comfort zone in order to make progress (being comfortable approaching anyone). Go into it with the mindset of just interacting, not from the position of getting her to like you. If you do this, and don't care about the outcome, you can NEVER BE REJECTED. Approach anxiety is a huge deal for a lot of people, but it can be overcome just by doing it often. The more you do it, the better you'll get. Plus, your odds of finding a woman who is good for you increases dramatically. Think about that. It's not about whether you're good enough for her, it's about seeing who's good enough for you. If you only meet 5 women, what are the odds of getting one good one? If you talk to 100 women, just casually, your odds increase. There is nothing wrong with talking to as many people as possible, because the most important decision a guy can make is who he will be in a relationship with. Unfortunately, most people spend more time planning their next vacation that they do deciding who to marry.

    • This should be the best answer +1

    • Wow, that ...was...beautiful...I myself am going to take this advice, it's made more sense then anything I've heard on the internet.

What Experts Said

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What Girls Said 25

  • If you are sitting there staring at her trying to make eye contact and she won't make it, she's probably just not into you. I mean I am shy around guys that I like but if he's trying to hold eye contact, if I like him I will look back at him no matter how nervous I am even if it means forcing myself. So yeah my guess is that she's not interested.

    • Ok,thanks for the honesty. that's what I thought.

  • No matter who, i have trouble looking anyone in the eyes for longer than a second at a time, i dont know how it eill efect my relationships in the future but i dont think it should be too big of a problem

  • i think it's either extreme.

    if a girl is really shy/lacks experience, she would look anywhere at the guy

    if she isn't as shy and inexperienced, it generally also depends on personality. I have a lot more eye contact with people I'm interested in. how else will I gauge their reactions? besides, I feel it's a way they know I'm paying attention. (well, it doesn't mean I actually am.. I have a tendency to zone out a lot- but it's a trick you learn when your prof is explaining something and you could care less..)

  • No...I'm shy...so when I see a guy I like, or might like and then notice that he's staring at me, I just turn away quickly because I'm sort of afraid to face him. But would really like to be approached! So...no...a girl's actions are not always so logical or smart, and a lot of the time they just don't make any sense. xD

  • eye contact means nothing most times. It can range from accidental to pure intent. I'd say read into body language more or try to exhibit interest yourself by communication, or even by observation. "What time is it? Thank you, I'm running late for ____." Open a dialogue... something! :)

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What Guys Said 15

  • No, not necessarily. Some times, depending on the past and experience of the said girl, their reactions and mannerisms may be complete opposite to that of the norm. Just being she shows no or minimal eye contact does not mean she's not interested. If anything, complete avoidance of eye contact on her behalf shows she's shy, more specifically shy in your presence. All in all thought its mostly situationally based, so don't give up mate, if you really like her, then keep chasing until your sure she's not interest :)

    Do you agree, mate? @dcuber3

  • eye contact as a dude I always found harsh, mostly because I'm worried at other things than than conversation on hand aye. I tend to get really side tracted looking at a girl in the eyes myself, I'm like talking but then on the other hand thinking, "Omg like what if my face is doing something weird and she's thinking like, WTF?" Then as in thinking stuff like that I start wandering and drifting off and things start to seem seeing and awkward. IMO eye contact is not the decider in a relationship, overtime possibly but like first few days and starting to go out I would not think so. Post that maybe things are a bit weird...

  • Eye contact does mean a lot. Does she see you looking her way and immediately turns her head to avoid eye contact? If that's the case , you have no chance at all. That is the worse possible scenario. Does she look back for a moment but you can see the look on her face is puzzled, like why is he looking at me? that could mean , she thinks your a creeper, or she thinks she might know you but can't figure out who you are. If she looks back and then looks away but looks back one or 2 times more , she might be shy or checking you out. You might have a chance here. And lastly if she looks back and smiles and either turns away or makes direct eye contact and keeps smiling. You won, move in.

  • She's just shy keep goin
    If she looks irritated though you should stop

  • that's not fully true. she could be the shy kind of girl.

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