I mentioned I would like to shave my head for the summer to my fiance.

My fiancee got upset when I mentioned I wanted to shave my head for the summer. It's not the first time I do it. But It's the first time I do it since we've been together. She's known me to do it. She's a hair stylist and does crazy things to her hair like dye it purple. I think since I don't tell her hoe to dress, style her hair she should not be entitled to how I want to wear my hair. What's your take


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There is a difference between being upset and telling someone what to do.

    Telling anyone who is an adult what to do is a slippery slope. Doing that to your partner is even worse. It's a great way to build resentment and fuel arguments.

    However, being upset over something your partner does is fine. This isn't Disneyland. We don't have to like everything about our partner or agree with all their views and actions. It's okay to get upset. It's okay for you, as well, to be upset by her reaction. What isn't okay is trying to tell her she has no reason to be upset. She doesn't like it. Accept that.

    So, I don't agree with advice that tells you to do what works for you. Relationships are about give and take and considering another person's feelings. So, first, consider how really important it is for you to shave your head. Don't do it just to get back at her. Second, let her know you accept that she does not like the idea. Finally, if you really want to shave your head, well then do so, but don't expect you will talk her out of the way she feels. Good luck!

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What Girls Said 17

  • Your hair is on your body. Your body belongs to you. You alone are entitled to do whatever you want with your body, and hair, since it is yours.

    If you want to shave it all off, go for it. Maybe even do Bald for Bucks? link

    If she doesn't like it, it'll grow back. It's not like you're getting plastic surgery. :I

    But if you're wedding is coming up soon, maybe she wants you to have more hair for the pictures? I don't know.

    Perhaps you should just tell her that you really want to shave your head and it would be nice to have her support.

    Good luck! :]

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  • I agree with you, it's your right to do what you please with your hair. My boyfriend is the same way, I don't care what he does. I think he looks good no matter what. But he gets concerned with what I do :P

    But he won't come out and say I can't do something. He just disapproves :P

    I think you should do what you please. Obviously she knows what she likes, but I doubt shaving your head for the summer would look bad. My boyfriend says he wants to shave his head too, because it would be cooler. It makes sense because hair makes the head hot in the summer.

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  • I have been on the opposite side of this situation. I change my hair a lot and my boyfriend wanted to buzz his head a week before prom. I was kind of upset because I LOVED his hair, I thought it was so sexy but I told him to do what he wanted with his head.

    He ended up doing it and I'll admit that I did find him less attractive at first, but I didn't bring it up and eventually I got over it.

    Ultimately it should be your decision, but take into consideration that she might find you less attractive. I'm sure you would be a little bit upset if she shaved her head.

    It's one thing to change hair colors...it's another to not have hair.

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  • It's not because you're in a relationship that one is the boss of the other. You make decisions together, but if it's just about hair, oh come on, it's not like you choose to give away a kidney (and even then..). I think it's okay for her to have her opinion on it, but you don't need to listen to it. It's your body, it's your head and hair, you do what you want.

    What does she say if you bring up the same thing? That you don't tell her how to do her hair..

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  • i think you should do it. its going to grow back anyway.

    why should she be allowed to do whatever she wants with her hair but you arent?

    thats not fair.

    and after all, its your hair. you should be able to do whatever you want with your hair.

    if you guys are going to get married, she has to accept you for whatever you want.

    if you like your head bald, you should do it. its your head. :D

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  • Whether it's attractive or not doesn't matter. If you like it and it free's your scalp from the Summer heat- shave away, my friend. It isn't like you're doing something permanent anyway. She will get over it and it will probably grow on her just as her style change-ups have grown on you.

    And if you do decide you're going to go for it, dye it BRIGHT purple or red first and see how she reacts! =)

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  • Its just hair and dontcha know, hair grows back! If it means that much to her, opt for just a little bit of hair such as a buzz cut or something close to your scalp.

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  • My boyfriend has long gorgeous hair. I love it, I never want him to cut it but recently he told me he's going to get a buzz cut and at first I freaked (to myself). I told him I wouldn't like it but he still insists on getting it. I on the other hand have been wanting dreads, and he keeps asking me to put it off a bit so I have. We've come to the compromise that I will get my dreads the same same time he cuts his hair off. We'll both go through the change we want even though the other doesn't agree.

    I think that it is your hair, and as her boyfriend she is allowed to voice whether or not she'll like it. She can even ask you not to do it, but she has no right to command it and it is totally up to you whether or not you want to do it. You are also allowed to voice your take on her hair changed, but you cannot control it...you know?

    Nobody has the right to tell the other how to do anything with their body, but as your fiance she has the privilege of giving suggestions.

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  • It's your body, it's your hair but there are some women, me included who don't like a shaved head. If she is one of these women AND her being a hair stylist her mind will be set in "how to make hair look good"

    Maybe you should ask her why she's so against it? It might be a really personal reason eg. it reminds her of her dad and they don't get along. I dunno!

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  • She probably just doesn't like bald heads lol. Just like I don't like mountain beards, if I had a boyfriend & he grew one, I wouldn't like it honestly. But you can do whatever you want.

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  • I say she can be upset about it, but she has no right to be upset with you about it. Its your hair, your life, take her opinion into account but do what you gotta do.

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  • Hair grows back. If you want to cut it, you have the right to do so. You don't exactly need your fiancee's permission to cut your hair. Besides, if she is a hair stylist, she should know exactly how you're feeling about this new change. Do it for yourself. Not everything has to be revolving around your girl.

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  • It's up to what you want to do; its not up to her.

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  • Not everyone looks good with the shaved head style.

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    • not everyone looks good with purple hair either

    • But he didn't say that she look bad with the purple hair! and she likes his hair,why shave it completely?

      It is up to him at the end anyways but he will regret it later.

  • it's not that attractive..

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  • I suppose she's just used to seeing you a certain way. Don't over-think this or get into a blow up over it. You have to do what makes you feel comfortable.

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  • Your hair is your business. If you want to shave it, then I say to go for it. It will grow back out. If she can dye hers purple, you can do something which is less crazy, and shave it.

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What Guys Said 10

  • I'm gonna go devil's advocate on this one...

    Her physical attraction to you, is an important aspect of your relationship. Put simply, would you want to date someone who thinks you look gross, ugly, etc.. ?

    So if she doesn't think you look good with a shaved head, don't you think you should take that into serious consideration in terms of your relationship and maintaining attraction between one another?

    With that said, you have every right to tell her not to put make up on, put her hair in a pony tail, or cut it really short.. or whatever preference you like. And she should take it into serious consideration for the sake of your physical attraction towards her, as well.

    The choice is yours, obviously. As well as her body will be her choice. But why do it if it upsets her or turns her off? This is your fiance. You love her, you want her happy, you want to impress her, etc.. Love isn't simply accepting your partner for whoever/whatever they are. It's about sacrifices for one another. Surely she wouldn't mind growing out her leg hairs and armpits if it weren't for the fact it repulses you. She does what she can to stay attractive towards you, you should do the same.

    So talk to her about it seriously. If it really is so bad for her, you shouldn't do it. If it's something she is uneasy about but overall says she'd deal with it, then maybe go for it, maybe don't.. up to you.

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  • Girls want a pretty Bieber cut. Women love a shaved head!

    I have to say, I don't think this is her domain to interfere with. She has voiced her opinion, which is fair enough, and I am sure you have taken it into consideration. Having said that, with regard to your appearance, you should be wary of tending to it with too much regard for how to keep others happy. Other people are so fickle and what one person likes another doesn't. She should appreciate what makes you feel happy and comfortable. Besides, it will always grow back. Asking other people or getting permission for whether you should shave your head is a bad idea. In my experience, people always say no. Sod 'em! Your head. None of their business. People place too much importance on trivial crap like how you have your hair.

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    • If this was trivial, he wouldn't have posted this in the first place. Put it this way, if it is too trivial for her to expect him to not shave, it should also be too trivial for him to shave. He even says he mentioned he would "like" to, not that he had to. I have learned over the years that stuff like this is not worth fighting about. So, yes, if I was the girl I would just say I am not a fan of my guy being bald, but if I were the guy I would not shave.

    • I'm saying hair style is a trivial issue. If you think attractiveness is fundamentally determined by how someone has their hair, then that's probably a bigger source of incompatibility than how either of us garnish our head.

    • To put it another way, hair style as a means of personal expression takes precedence over the whims of a whiny subset of the female population.

  • I love all these young girls saying "it's YOUR body"..well that may be true but she will spend more time looking at you then you will...can do whatever you like...but I listen very seriously to my SOs preferences...it is your right to scalp yourself...but it is her right to do decide who she wants to date...or not ...(:

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    • Good advice & very true!

    • Yes, I like the part about the reality that she spends more time looking at him than he does. We can only hope. Lol

  • Unless you're balding, don't do it. It's better to have some hair to give yourself a different look every now and then.

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  • There is nothing more comfortable than a freshly shaved head.

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  • It's your hair and you can do what you want with it. She should love you for you, and if you support the changes she makes appearance-wise then she should support the changes you make.

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  • it's your life my man.

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  • remind her its a haircut, not a tattoo, the hair does grow back

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  • Usually a good orgasm persuades any woman in my life to love my quirks and kinks.

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  • I say do it. You are entitled to your body, and she not. This kind of thing is extremely trivial. If she has the right to tell you what to do with your hair, then by that logic, you have every right to tell her what to do with her hair. If she disagrees with you having the right to tell her how to have her hair, then she must also disagree with her having the right to tell you what to do with your hair.

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