Why is it okay for men to be so shallow?

I have been on dates where men have told me" you are fine but if you had _____ you'd be perfect". I watch Real housewives of orange county and I am like " really?". These men look like crap with women half their ages. Then they abuse them verbally about their looks forcing them to get breast implants, lip injections, ...i mean these women are 99% plastic. I feel so sorry for them because this is no way to live. Whatever happen to men appreciating a woman the way she is, instead of transforming her into a plastic/botox barbie. Men judge women harshly on how the look, the size of their breasts, etc.

If I told a man , sorry I you're not my type because your penis is smal, I'd be a whore. Most women will accept a man's physical flaws if he is a nice guy and treats her good. Sometimes the shallowness of men , disgusts me. How do you feel?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Who says that's okay of anyone?

    First of all, most of what you see on TV is NOT NOT NOT real! Producers purposely pick out the most drama-filled people and force them together, and then constantly manipulate the situation to keep them stirred up. They will hire obnoxious guys and instruct them to be even more obnoxious, because it keeps folks like you interested and that keeps ratings up.

    But you need to learn to be VERY skeptical of anything you see in the media. You never know what's going on off-camera or behind the scenes, but most of the time, stuff IS going on. Have you ever seen video that you know has been edited to make people say things they didn't actually say? That kind of thing happens FAR more often than you realize; it isn't just Michael Moore who does it.

    No, it's not okay for men or women to be shallow, and the fact that we as society allow it as much as we do, and don't set better examples for our kids, is really sad. But don't use TV as the example, because so much of that is fake.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Ok first of all, don't generalize for all men based on some stupid show like that. That is not an accurate depiction of most men. The other problem is that its usually the jerks who are the ones getting girlfriends and the nice guys don't (yeah I went there), so what you see is nothing but guys treating their GF's like crap because all the guys who wouldn't say those things can't get a girl to like him as more than a friend.

    Just like women, men each have their own unique idea of what their perfect women would be, but that doesn't mean we won't date you just because you fall short of that.

    Frankly, like some of the other guys have said. I find women to be more shallow than men. While guys might voice things more often, I think we are more likely to actually date a women who is less than perfect, where as females are usually only interested in dating the hottest and most perfect guy in the room. Girls are very picky. If every physical and personality trait isn't perfect than he's out the door. If he's a few inches to short, gone, If his hair is the wrong color, gone, if he isn't quite funny enough, gone, if he's a bit to nice, gone, if he texts you just a tad bit to frequently, gone. As men we always feeling like we are walking on thin ice with any women.

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  • People who behave and have the views of the men and women on those Housewives shows make up about .01% of the population. The vast majority of men, and women, are nothing like the people on those shows. Those shows exist because the behavior of the cast is highly provocative and controversial, which gets a lot of viewers. In no way, shape or form, should anybody draw any kind of conclusion about human behavior based on those shows. Take them for what they are, entertainment, not reality.

    Men and women are very different in terms of what attracts them to the opposite gender. Attraction is a pretty complex mechanism, but essentially men are attracted to beauty and women are attracted to dominance. Those are definitely not the only things that matter to the two sexes, but those are the factors that have the strongest effect. I'm speaking in general, of course.

    Shallowness exists pretty equally in both sexes, it just shows itself in different ways. Some guys judge women very harshly on their looks. Some women judge men very harshly on their current/potential income.

    Cynicism and superficiality definitely exist, but the vast majority of people out there are good natured and have lots of depth to their character. They are not just out there looking for looks or money. They appreciate people for who they are as a whole.

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  • You are dating the wrong guys? That's pretty sad for a guy to say that to a girl...but I guess they do it cause they can get away with saying it. Don't date them again if they say something like that it's just completely rude, it might slowly teach them a lesson too. I wouldn't dream of saying something like that...

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  • everyone is probably a little bit shallow, both guys and girls, it's just the

    way the world goes, but indeed, most girls "marry down" or what you want to

    call it, but if a man is being really cruel about it, he may not be worth

    you time.

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  • I actually like natural women, all cosmetic changes tend to turn me off.

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  • yes, but women are superficial in regards towards behavioral aspects

    you can use your real housewives example, but those women find those men attractive because of their wealth, power and confidence. if those men lost any of those, they'd be up sh*t creek.

    masculinity is rooted in behavior, femininity in looks

    we both like what we like. I'm not gana apologize for refusing to be with a chubby girl or a chick with imperfect breasts

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  • Women are also shallow. This whole “women see personality before looks” is B.S. and we all know it. I've seen women sent men because of physical qualities they didn't find attractive. Humans in general are shallow.

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  • actually, I've found that grls tend to talk more about boys' looks than the other way around.

    e.g. a group of girls will often openly comment on how one guy looks really hot (especially teenage girls)

    many people are just shallow, it isn't limited to guys

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  • Men and women are shallow because their all human. Girls have a long checklist as to what a man needs to have and so do we.

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What Girls Said 4

  • it's not OK for men to disrespect a woman by telling her she's not good enough because she doesn't have what he would like. unfortunately so many women accept it because they're so desperate to please anything with a penis. if a man started critiquing my looks I would GO IN on him because turnabout is fair play. I'll tell you about your flaws if you wanna talk about mine. some guys just are unappreciative douchebags but I don't deal with that type. we all have our preferences but why even deal with someone if you don't like what they have to offer? if I think a guy is ugly then I just won't date him, I'm not gonna start dating him and then try to lower his confidence by telling him all the ways he should change to please me

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  • It is never OK for a person to be shallow

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  • Not all men are shallow. I'm use to it though.

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  • I am kind of amazed at what guys will say and think is okay. I was in bed with one once and he wasn't a boob guy but he actually insulted my larger ones basically saying I would be perfect if they were smaller. I did not mention his small penis size or his gut to him. I was with him because I really liked who he was as a person. But obviously I am not a very good judge of character.

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