What is it about certain girls that draws guys to them?

I am curious what it is about certain girls that guys cannot seem to resist. I am 30 years old. I have two children but I am in great physical condition. I am actually a trainer and bikini competiter. But I don't like male attention. I like having male friends but I hate getting hit on or called se**, hot or anything like that. It makes me feel like a piece of meat. Today a male colleague of mine tells me that I have a se***l aura about me that he can't explain but that guys most definitely pick up on. He said it's nothing that I do it's just there. What does that mean? I don't understand what men are sensing from me. I am very open minded in bed and he says that he gets that vibe from me even though I won't discuss s** with him or any other guy that I'm sorry not dating. Honestly I get hit on by db's so much that I act like a bitch most of the time. My best friend who is very pretty, nice and open to flirting doesn't have this issue. She gets hit on but not as much and guys aren't persistent with herblike they are w me. So my question is can anyone explain what he meant by sex**l aura? What guys are possibly picking up on? I don't act like a dumb flirty girl. If a guy compliments me it doesn't flatter me. I am a very confident and hard working woman. I'm nice but just don't like getting hit on all of the time. Its frustrating after awhile. I have also had several men tell me they want me to have their baby...wth is up w that? I can't figure that one out either. Lol any input would be much appreciated. Thx! :-)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, to start with, you're obviously physically attractive; in good shape with a tight body. But being a mom, you probably dress casually a lot and are open and friendly with people, so that makes you seem approachable, and not as intimidating. If you dressed in a business suit with a $500 hairdo, guys would be intimidated and think they couldn't compete with "that class of guy" they'd assume you were dating. But casual, open, and friendly means "approachable."

    Lots of guys are looking for women who fit your description; it's just unfortunate that you aren't interested.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I dunno. If its any consolation, you don't do anything for me. ; - )

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  • first off, I'm in the PT biz too...PT, WHAT WHAAAAAT! hahaha. I'm also planning on breaking down the gender wall in the pro bikini competition circuit, so stay on your toes, missy!

    haha, just playin'...anywaaaaayyyy... well, for starters, from your profile pic I can tell you're a very attractive girl. so that'll obviously get you your fair share of male attention. as for giving off the sexual vibe, that's tough to put into words. it's a certain "je any sais quoi" as they say, which I believe is an old japanese adage, haha. but it's funny you say this, my girlfriend complains of the same thing, ESPECIALLY the having a guy's baby part. and that's particularly funny, because I've never met another woman so opposed to having kids in my life. just no maternal instincts whatsoever, haha. just a straight-up NYC sex and the city girl...shoes, bags, clothes, and fruity little purse-dogs are the only things on her agenda, hahaha. but she's very smart, very beautiful, and very kind, and who wouldn't want someone like that to mother their children if they wanted kids, y'know? so take it as a compliment, albeit an annoying one :)

    the sexual aura is a compliment too, but that should really be left unsaid by people you don't know like that...but maybe I'm just old-school, haha. it could have something to do with your confidence. all of my hall-of-famers were also confident outside of the bedroom as well as in it. the girls who were normally shy in public were mostly shy in private as well, although you do run across the occasional closet freak. but also, like I said before, some girls just have "IT", and you might be one of them. it might even have to do with the shape of your body. some women just look like they're "built for lovin'", to keep it PG-13. just has a certain magnetism that you can't explain. the male mind is a crazy place...you never what's going on up there, haha.

    ps - from one trainer to another, CONGRATS on staying in shape after not one, but TWO children. that's no easy task, not even just the actual getting in shape, but also doing it while being a mom. I respect the hell out of that! I've known a few gals who were fitness pros and went on maternity leave, and, well...we'll just say they're not in the industry anymore, hahaha.

    good luck with everything!

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    • holy schneikes, did I really write "je ANY sais quoi." that is of course supposed to read "je NE sais quoi." 15 years of football and banging my head against other heads...can you tell?

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    • Ouch! Not a very smart move mister! I'm glad you are recovering! I know it take so long to make progress and it doesn't take long to lose it if you are out of commission. Well I will expect yiu yp on stage at The Arnold with me next March! ;-) Seriously take care of yourself and go slow! Goid luck to you!

    • well, you gotta be a little stupid to play football in the first place. looking back, it's absolutely nuts, especially at the semi-pro level for no money, haha. SO unfair how quickly you get out of shape vs. how long it takes to get IN shape. sometimes I really hate nature! anyway, I should be on a treadmill right now, not the internet, so I'm off, haha. but thanks for the well-wishes and good luck with everything! :-)

  • Miniskirt, tight-fitting top, fit body (VERY rare for a female in her 30s to be in similar shape as you), pretty/cute smile...

    ...

    ...

    ...you don't know it, but all those things added together is what makes guys attracted to you.

    Hell, a fit body and pretty smile alone is enough for most guys lol.

    ----------------

    What FRUSTRATES you about being hit on? I don't get it tbh.

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    • I just don't like attention. I just want to do my thing, you know? Maybe I'm weird. Lol

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    • In that case...

      ...

      ...go man-hunting for your quiet and sweet guy! :)

    • Lol I am OK being single for now. I'm not finished with my divorce so there is no rush. My husband was a nice, quiet guy but super jealous. I'm stilla kinda holding out hope with him to be honest. If not, then I think I'll just be single for the rest of my life. I'm too busy for a relationship right now anyway. I just want the db's to take the hint! Lol

  • Do you usually wear tight-fitting tops like the one in your profile pic? Because that would certainly help explain why you get hit on by so many guys.

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    • Depends. Sometimes I do sometimes I might just wear a sweatshirt.

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    • Unfortunately when you are walking down the street your great personality is not readily apparent, whereas your physical qualities are. Some men conflate what they feel towards a woman (" she is sexy") with how she may behave ("she is sexual"). The fact that you have kids may help weed out some of the guys that are only into you for your looks.

    • I know. It's the physical part that initially catches guys attention. That makes sense though. They must conflate that alot. Lol

  • i don't understand why you wouldn't like getting compliments. kinda what happens when your healthy and in shape. by the way you dress simply says it all. some women just have really defined curves as well, which is sexually a big turn on for the opposite gender. its what men look for in a woman. could be a combination of things really

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    • It's not that I don't appreciate genuine compliments. Because I do. I just get irritated when guys think calling me sexy or hot assume that I will be flattered. I just don't understand what I do that makes them approach me.

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    • Well I can't change who I am soa I guess I'm screwed. Lol

  • posture, the way you walk, how you act around others, type of clothes, your accent/tone, facial expressions, could even be the way you eat

    all those things give off a certain type of aura >_>

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