I am 25, a university student, I am self-confident and sociable, not bad looking (height/weight proportional, I workout, naturally blond, look very typically German/Swedish) and am having trouble with men.
I can strike up a conversation with anyone, men included, but the minute I stand up, it's over...I usually loom over them at 5'10".
My best girlfriend in tiny, petite and 5'3", and if she's out with me, forget it, men instantly flock to her or try to get me to hook them up.
Being 'man sized', my femininity gets constantly undermined. No one offers me a jacket, a "piggy back ride" (in jest) or to sit on a lap (that's really silly, but I can't tell you how many times I'm the smooshed one in the car or the one left standing) .
These are trivial things I know, but no matter who I am with, I am still the tallest and treated differently by men. Living in a college town, many of the guys around are younger than me and quite immature, but come on, nobody is interested?
I am capable of being independent and not unhappy, but am really saddened by what I am experiencing.
So I ask, do men really prefer small girls? Do tall girls seem less feminine or in need of attention? If everything was an all go before you realized that the girl was taller, does that make you reconsider? What is it I should do to be considered for more girlie attention?
Most Helpful Guy
Yes, many men, especially men shorter than you, are going to be INTIMIDATED by you because of your height. It sucks and it isn't fair, but that's the reality. Not all men will have a problem, but many are already intimidated by women in general, so they don't need much of a reason to be even more intimidated.
The problem here isn't you, it's male insecurity, but the reality is that it DOES affect you. So, how to deal with it?
- Wear flats unless the guy is way taller than you; try to be at least an inch or two shorter than he is in whatever shoes you wear. Obviously if he's less than 5' 10", flats are as good as you can do.
- Eccentuate your femininity. Wear skirts and dresses rather than pants, and choose feminine colors and patterns. Wear your hair long rather than short. Have your look say "I'm a girlie girl."
- Be outgoing and happy and fun, and easy to talk to and approach, and if you have to let a guy down, do it as easy and gentle as you can.
Oh, and do your best to date emotionally mature men, rather than "boys". That might actually mean dating guys a little older than you.
Again, it sucks that you have to do ANYTHING, but the fact is that if you do these things, you'll really increase your chances and your overall attractiveness to men.1