Is it because I'm tall?

I am 25, a university student, I am self-confident and sociable, not bad looking (height/weight proportional, I workout, naturally blond, look very typically German/Swedish) and am having trouble with men.

I can strike up a conversation with anyone, men included, but the minute I stand up, it's over...I usually loom over them at 5'10".

My best girlfriend in tiny, petite and 5'3", and if she's out with me, forget it, men instantly flock to her or try to get me to hook them up.

Being 'man sized', my femininity gets constantly undermined. No one offers me a jacket, a "piggy back ride" (in jest) or to sit on a lap (that's really silly, but I can't tell you how many times I'm the smooshed one in the car or the one left standing) .

These are trivial things I know, but no matter who I am with, I am still the tallest and treated differently by men. Living in a college town, many of the guys around are younger than me and quite immature, but come on, nobody is interested?

I am capable of being independent and not unhappy, but am really saddened by what I am experiencing.

So I ask, do men really prefer small girls? Do tall girls seem less feminine or in need of attention? If everything was an all go before you realized that the girl was taller, does that make you reconsider? What is it I should do to be considered for more girlie attention?


0|0
2|10

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, many men, especially men shorter than you, are going to be INTIMIDATED by you because of your height. It sucks and it isn't fair, but that's the reality. Not all men will have a problem, but many are already intimidated by women in general, so they don't need much of a reason to be even more intimidated.

    The problem here isn't you, it's male insecurity, but the reality is that it DOES affect you. So, how to deal with it?

    - Wear flats unless the guy is way taller than you; try to be at least an inch or two shorter than he is in whatever shoes you wear. Obviously if he's less than 5' 10", flats are as good as you can do.

    - Eccentuate your femininity. Wear skirts and dresses rather than pants, and choose feminine colors and patterns. Wear your hair long rather than short. Have your look say "I'm a girlie girl."

    - Be outgoing and happy and fun, and easy to talk to and approach, and if you have to let a guy down, do it as easy and gentle as you can.

    Oh, and do your best to date emotionally mature men, rather than "boys". That might actually mean dating guys a little older than you.

    Again, it sucks that you have to do ANYTHING, but the fact is that if you do these things, you'll really increase your chances and your overall attractiveness to men.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 9

  • Most guys do prefer short girls, but it isn't a big deal to most men, if you are just a few inches taller. I think part of the problem is that even fairly short girls, will often not consider a man unless he is at least 6 foot tall, or a certain number of inches taller than them. So it makes some men assume you are not interested in them if they are shorter. I am 5'10" and I know girls that would not consider me, because even though I am taller than them, I am still not tall enough. Guys do get hurt when they get rejected, so we tend to try and play it safe most of the time.

    Now if a man is really short, it may be a big problem for him, but I don't think most guys will have that problem, if you can make them feel confident in knowing you aren't going to judge them based on their height.

    If you want to be seen as more girlie, don't wear shoes that make you taller, and try dressing in feminine clothes, like skirts and dresses. Don't change who you are on the inside, but maybe just change your clothing style a little more often.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It's all really a matter of personal preference, as I'm sure you're aware. I'm 6'2'' myself. I've been with girls from 5' to 6'3''. My ideal preference is 5'7'' through 6'0'', though. I'm fully aware this is taller than most preferences because, as you might expect, guys discuss these things regularly (my friends and I do, I suppose I can't speak for the entire male population). As far as I can tell, most guys I know are fairly hesitant about dating girls as tall or taller than them. The reasons behind this, which might seem obvious, are that guys tend to have a need to feel that they're the man and you're the woman. For evidence, when it comes to my shorter friends that are quite strong and muscular, they exhibit less inhibition about dating taller girls. For my taller friends, the skinnier and less muscular they get, I notice they date shorter and shorter girls. I workout fairly regularly and consider myself to be fairly athletic. I attribute my size to my range of preferences and my lack of concern for dating someone my own height because when standing next to a girl my own height, it's very obvious that I'm still much larger. Though, it's not of concern to me, and I don't think about it much; I imagine I would if I were shorter or smaller.

    Try not to be down about it, though. Tall girls do not seem less feminine, they don't need more attention. It's not you that causes them to reconsider (insomuch that it's anything you did or that you're less feminine). It's that they just feel a need to date someone who, comparatively, allows them to feel that they are a protector. You may know girls who feel the need to date guys that are much bigger than them. It's similar but just in the reverse.

    Don't worry! Keep your confidence up and be patient!

    1|0
    0|0
  • I love tall girls, but that's probably because I'm 6'3'' myself. You probably won't be wearing heels as often as other girls, but honestly, especially with tall guys, you're height might actually be an asset. I live in Colorado and many of the girls here are short Hispanic girls. I go out dancing a lot and I can't tell you how awesome it is to meet a beautiful tall girl who is tall enough to see eye to eye with me while we dance. On a more comical note, why not give the guys a piggy back ride? ;)

    1|0
    0|0
  • I love tall women but I'm more inclined to admire them from a safe distance. Here's why.

    Tall women often come across as arrogant, self-absorbed, short-guy-hating princesses. You can't deny the obvious in western culture. A lot of you tall ladies fight with the shorter girls for the tall guy's attention and complain about these little ladies stealing all the tall guys when you lose the fight. At the same time you loathe the leftover short guys that have the guts to approach you. Cutting out a large section of men from her own dating pool by virtue of his lack of height is common with tall women.

    You want more attention from men? Try consider dating a guy who doesn't give a sh*t about your height. It doesn't hurt to make the first move on a man you find attractive unless you're a staunch traditionalist who thinks it's sacrilegious. There are lots of short guys who would date a taller lady but the issue surrounding his lack of height is 90 % her problem.

    For some guys, especially the shorter ones, they would sooner take the low road and avoid a potential embarrassing rejection from the tall woman. This I believe is one of the main reasons why some tall women are avoided. Funny thing in all of this is that my chances with a shorter woman are just as dire as they would be pursuing a tall woman. 5'6 is still too short for the most part.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It doesn't have to do with your hight... try to smile more, be more agreeable.. .. basically the more feminine traits you project the more men will be attracted. I am 5:10 and I would date and be in a relationship with a 5:10 .. but most women who are at that hight want much taller men .

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm 5'6 and I would have no problem dating a girl taller then me. If your that tall most guys assume that you probably would not date them, unless the guys were your hegiht or taller. Shorter guys usually assume a taller women would not want to date them because of the height difference and that most women like guys to be taller then them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i will admit I find tall girls very attractive

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm 5'9" and have dated girls taller than me. It isn't an issue at all, in fact I actually find it to be kind of a turn on. I also know for a fact that there are a bunch of guys like me out there. You'll be fine, hun.

    0|0
    0|0
  • yes I prefer smaller girls...

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • Hmm, odd. I'm 5'10" and I notice it tends to draw more attention than the opposite way around. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely guys who prefer short girls, and I think it's almost universal that most guys want a girl who is shorter than them - but tall girls aren't the rejects lol.

    Femininity is about how you carry yourself, how you behave and confidence. Being tall doesn't make you less feminine. However, being self conscious about it will. Embrace your height and work it. I used to HATE being tall, now I wouldn't change it for the world. There will always be guys who aren't attracted to you, but the same is true in reverse.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wow, never heard that before.. I thought tall girls were the hot ones! o.0

    I wish I was taller :(

    I always feel inferior and somehow I compare it to driving a car, the only car I like is the AudiR8

    I love that car! But I'll never own it. Anyway, when driving a small car I have to look up to everybody and I feel small. That's why I prefer driving trucks! or anything big! I feel on top of the world. :D Completely off topic but it's what it reminds me of.

    You're tall, embrace it! :]

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...