Here's the background - I only developed one breast... so I didn't have surgery just to make them bigger. I had surgery to make them appear more normal. Sad thing is that now I have really bad scars and it puts me off dating. What do you suggest?
Hey, I dated a guy who had bad varicose veins and had surgery for them and wore support stockings to prevent them from coming back. You can bet he did not talk about this until after it was clear that we were in a relationship and going to be intimate. Then he told me. By then I was hooked emotionally and I was understanding. If he had told me on the first date, I probably would have felt weird and I am not sure we would have dated further. TMI.
So, that more of us had "problems" like this that actually caused more people to put the breaks on physical intimacy and focus on developing an emotional connection first. If you do not have an emotional connection, well yes you could end up with a guy who was looking for sex and will be put off by anything that is distracting to his sexual needs. Avoid that by taking time to date, see that the guy actually cares about you and your feelings and asks you to be his girl before you have sex. That is the guy who will not bat an eye.
I have been with two girls who are in your boat, and they didn't say anything until after the first time I felt their boobs. Its no big deal either way, it could be cosmetic or reconstructive. The scarring can be bad the first year or so, but it will get better. Any guy that cares or doesn't like it is pretty messed up imo. But, I didn't care and don't think most other guys will either. Don't sweat it!
Because it wasn't for cosmetic purposes, I don't think it's something that people need to know (just like how you wouldn't tell someone about a medical surgery you had, unless it in some way affects them). However, since you're saying there are scars, you might be asked if you're getting intimate--in that case, just be up front about it and explain your situation. I wouldn't bring it up randomly in a regular conversation because it's not something that needs to be emphasized (because it's a normal, acceptable thing). Just remember that it's not anything to be embarassed/ashamed about, and your partner should be understanding enough to accept it. If they aren't, it's their loss.