Can you be with someone that doesn't think you are pretty?

I had a friend and now we are boyfriend/girlfriend because of me, I always had a crush on him, I found him attractive since I met him, he obviously never did so we were friends...

He is quite attractive like a 9 and he knows it so he is cocky, he wasn't always like that cause he was chubby before so he was insecure back them...the thing is he has a very peculiar personality, he is stubborn, moody, aloof so girls don't date him, just f*** him and Well he has me, I always handle his personality and one day we were talking about this, he was complaining for not ever having a girlfriend and I kissed him and we started to be together ever since...

He never said I am attractive, never complimented my looks, I know he cares about me, he likes my personality and doesn't mind making out with me but that's it...

I feel like sh*t because I know I am not as attractive as he is, I am probably a 7 and I like to believe I am An 8,5 but I know some guys think I am a 9 or even a 10 and looked at me and treated me like one but I never liked any of those guys unfortunately...

I just know its not a good feeling to be with a guy that doesn't think I am hot, a guy that is with me because he just can't get a relationship with one of the extremely hot chicks he likes, girls that are skinny with Nice big boobs and model faces, girls he drools in front of me...

Why I am so stupid to accept this condition?

I should break Up with him right?! This is to bad for my self esteem, like I am the guy in this thing, I started, I kissed him, I am the one that initiate everything...I need to be with a guy that values me and values my look...Am I wrong?!

I know he doesn't find me ugly but he thinks I am just OK, we Haven't had sex yet because I am a virgin but I am quite insecure to do so, I know he has a hot list to compare to me...

What would You guys do in my shoes?

He is my first boyfriend also not because I have a hard personality but just because I am shy and not very social so I Haven't been exposed to the dating world...


Most Helpful Girl

  • FIRST off, you deserve someone way better than this guy and there are guys out there that will think you are a goddess. It is important that who ever you go out with adores you. You need a boyfriend who apreciates you and that includes the way you look. Not only that but a guy that makes you feel like a princess and you as their main priority.(not other superficial fantisy woman) If he is making you feel like sh^t then YEAH brake up with his a**. Also it seems like you are putting more effort into the relationship witch should be the other way around. So the question is quote: "why are you so stupid to accept this condition?" don't fall for this guy, he is not worth your time.

    • Totally agree...i guess the reason why is because I am extremely insecure and never had a chance of a relationship before, because I don't met guys, I am kind of old now and I guess we were together with the same issue...but I should value myself, he just makes me feel like I am not good enough

What Guys Said 2

  • Wow, get rid of the guy. I absolutely think it's important that your SO finds you attractive, I could never be with a girl who doesn't think I'm handsome or sexy. This guy sounds like a douchebag who doesn't give you the respect or appreciation you deserve. You also said the guy can't get a relationship forthe life of him and is attracted to the super hot girls that he drools over while you're with him. Could you describe more of a dumbass wuss? He definitely has lots of issues he needs to handle and you need to learn to love yourself and embrace your beauty first and foremost and stop seeing this guy!

    • Totally agree, I was really irrational to accept be in this condition, I like his flaws that make him human but I can't handle the fact that he doesn't think I am pretty

  • Tell him nicely he needs his girlfriend. He is using you as he tries for others. Meanwhile other guys see you with him -- a 9, you say --.and figure they don't have a chance with you. Go and make it with a guy who likes and tells you you're pretty, have nice eyes, good sense of humor, great top/shirt, all of those things you want (and should) to hear. Someone who treats you like the pretty woman you are. This guy can't do it, let someone else teach him.

    • exactly! I guess I am too insecure and fear being alone forever for my lack of experience and looks but I seriously can't be with someone that takes me for granted someone that doesn't find me attractive enough...

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    • Yeah I think anyone can be a 10 to someone right it's just a matter of perspective...but he clearly thinks I am just ok

    • Point is, leave him. Be with someone who wants all of you...a 9 or 10 isn't just looks. I think you need to pull yourself up, go for the brass ring.

What Girls Said 2

  • a guy like this will just use you and take advantage of you. if you are already insecure, keep f***ing with this guy and eventually your self esteem will be lower than you ever thought possible. mark my words, if you keep dating this guy your self esteem will deteriorate so its best to get out now and look for a guy who doesn't make you feel inadequate. don't settle for him just because he's your first boyfriend come on. if you can get this one guy you can get 2 more, you just gotta change your mentality. if you are the type who needs more affection and compliments than either let him know that or get it from someone else. don't settle for a guy who just thinks you're OK. you won't be doing yourself any favors. men are the kings at settling for one girl just because she's available in the meantime, and then as soon as they get access to who they really want they'll drop the first like she never existed. so if you know the guy doesn't appreciate your beauty and doesn't have the best personality so that's why you're the only one willing to be with him WHY ARE YOU WASTING TIME WITH HIM? you need to put on your big girl panties and get your self esteem together so you can realize there is a big wide world out there and you don't need to waste it with guys like this

    • I just somehow feel that I might not ever be with anyone so ... And I like him, I wish I didnt

  • Just leave him.

    I was with a guy who liked my personality but has never told me once that I'm beautiful, cute or even compliment something in my look. I was always complimenting his look and personality and show him how much I love him. He liked my personality but he didn't compliment my look (although this's something we girls need to hear too), and he always hurt me and made me not confident with my look while other guys made me feel I'm beautiful.

    By the time, I don't know how my feelings towards him became cold, I couldn't show him that I love him anymore. He wanted me to tell him some sweet words, but I couldn't. It's like you can't compliment someone who hurt you and make you feel bad about yourself. At the end, he said let's break up. After that, I felt confident with myself again.

    • You are right, I got be rational I shouldn't even have started this, I mean if it wasn't me kissing him we would still be friends I would still have a crush but it wouldn't be as painful as it is now. He doesn't value me, he takes me for granted and he always lure to other girls, girls are way above me

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    • I know, and I know that if I say something he will say something like of course I think You are pretty but I know he would Be just saying it just because he likes me as a person and the fact that he has a girlfriend, he is happy that we are a couple but that isn't enough for me, I had guys that thought I was really hot so why can't he?! I should respect myself more

    • Yeah, I think maybe he needs someone to teach him.