My friend is gorgeous & I don't feel comfortable bringing her to events with me.

Please, if you're going to be rude don't bother answering at all. A lot of people have a hot friend and feel self-conscious.

I have a friend who is drop dead gorgeous and she's a model. I usually attend events alone or with a guy friend but people are starting to think I don't have girl friends or friends I meet outside events. So now I kinda have to invite her and a few other friends in order to prevent a bad reputation. I'm nervous all of the guys will like her and forget me. Or they'll use me to get to her. I'm pretty sure once they meet her they will try to add her on Facebook or she'll add them. (Yes, she's seeing someone but it's not official and I'm not sure if he will come with her).

I know, this is a terrible and selfish thing to think. I'm not sure how to get over this.

Again, do not be rude and also saying "well you're pretty you have nothing to worry about" is not going to help either.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Been there, done that. Being an introvert, most of my girlfriends were more outgoing than I was, and I had a few friends that were very beautiful. The kind kind of beauty that makes men stare and salivate. I can relate to how you begin to feel invisible.

    A lot of people are going to tell you to now compare yourself to others - but it never helped me. How could I not compare myself when it was obvious that everyone else was making comparisons whenever we went out? I was the moon standing next to the sun. So I went out with her on my terms ... only when I could deal with the out come. I didn't do it when I was feeling particularly low or when I felt ugly, or when I needed to go out for a self esteem booster. When I wanted to have her certain brand of fun (she was kooky fun), or when I wasn't going out to meet someone of the opposite gender and other such situations, we hung out.

    I love that you recognize that it isn't her but you with the problem. The way you are dealing with it is a way that you are comfortable with. Don't feel selfish or guilty for being honest with yourself.

    I will say this though - I have had men who were not taken with my beautiful friend and approached me while I was out with her. That made me feel even better than usual, because they could see past the exterior and appreciate me as a person - something I thought was way more flattering than catching a guy with looks. Try not to let your insecurity around her bleed out too much - it is obvious no matter how subtle you think you are.

    Lastly - there will always be others out there who are more and less than what you are ... but seeing you on your own I have to say you are a very beautiful woman. Don't let your comparisons take away from that.

    Good luck.

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    • Thanks so much! Yea I love hanging out with her...but I wouldn't feel comfortable at this particular event and I know it's going to bother me. I told her never mind and I felt like going out by myself this time. Plus the only reason I invited her was to prove to people that I can bring my own friends with me but apparently that's silly.

What Guys Said 5

  • You have to stop comparing yourself to her, go out and have a fun time. Don't worry about her looks, and I know its hard.

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    • Good point. If I smoke enough greens I'll forget about it.

    • Well that's another story. I don't quite recommend it. but whatever floats your boat I guess.

    • say court?! you could come to my house and I'm sure you'll forget about it. js lol

  • "I have a friend who is drop dead gorgeous and she's a model"

    You aren't far from those things yourself. Stop being self conscious about it, you got beautiful lips btw

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  • lol guys don't just go for the hottest girl, ya they might look at her and drool a bit but doesn't mean there going to go after her. I'm sure if there's tons of guys a few might, but those who have liked you before will stick by you.

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  • you cares what they think of you, who are they to judge?

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  • ok. lol little off topic buuuut, you said you're here to answer questions right?

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What Girls Said 14

  • Not all guys are going to think she's gorgeous. You may think they will and she may make a quick impression but some guys are maybe not attracted to her and won't see her as anything more than just a pretty face. I know many girls who I think are also stunning but then I ask guys what they think then they say "meh she's okay". So don't worry about all the guys being into her. There will be some who aren't because people's opinions differ. My boyfriend for example finds the Kardashians to be ugly. Yesterday I was watching their show on TV at his house and he says "I really don't do know what people see in kim kardashian. She's ugly to me" and I was like "whaaaat she's beautiful!" and then he just shook his head. So really, it's totally subjective and you shouldn't worry so much about it. If a guy does use you to get through to her then he's honestly just a jerk and idiot and it's definitely not your loss then cause you don't want a guy like that anyway.

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  • I kind of see where your coming from. I've had gorgeous friends but then again I'm secure enough NOW to even say when I see a pretty girl or something. I'm straight lol

    I admit it annoys me when I have a good looking friend...girl or guy with me and it seems like everyone is interested in getting to them. its not the fact they aren't trying to get at me...i don't want that lol but just the fact of them being just plain rude.

    The other night this sleazy bitchy girl was rude and attention whory to me and my friend trying to get to him. so I just was like whatever see ya and left him with her...if she wants him and he doesn't try to respect me then I don't need them lol

    besides most people say they like my intellect and eccentricness

    so generally they come after me. the other night he did after I left and started making new friends lol but he gets jealous of everything and everyone so who know.s...

    talk to her and tell her how you feel people just try to use you to get to her because she's so pretty she should feel flattered while respecting you and being more aware of it :)

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  • So you're going to use your friend simply to prove you have female friends, and you're upset that people will have the audacity to use you to get to her?

    Frankly, you need to get over it. You need to be a better friend. I know, according to you that's rude - I'm not even going to fish in that lake. But the only way to HELP you is that you need to get over it. You need to decide how much you love and respect your friend, if indeed she is a friend.

    And stop caving in to peer pressure. The only reason you're bringing her is to get people to stop thinking you have no female friends. You can't win when you try to please everyone. Start living your life for YOU.

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    • I think I accidentally hit thumps down then hit thumbs up. Sorry about that...or am I seeing things? Anyway, thanks for the advice!

  • Well judging by your profile pic, you are very pretty. But, if you're uncomfortable inviting her places then don't do it. How would that give you a "bad reputation"? Nearly all my friends are guys and I rarely talk with of hang out with girls. But it doesn't even matter to me, I don't give a f*** what other people think. Just be yourself. You don't need to invite girls places to prove anything. If people don't like it, tell them to f*** off. Problem solved.

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  • I know exactly how you feel, and I always feel like everything is a compition to me, but to her it comes effortless. Allow her into your life, because the more you get use to it, the more you will realize that guys do like different types of women, so she may be drop dead gorgeous to one guy and fake to another. Take her out, because she probably doesn't feel like your the greatest friend you could be if you were to start treating her like those guy friends. Try something new and good luck! :)

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  • Looking at your profile picture, you are pretty. And although it can really suck, you can't compare yourself to her. You have a lot of good qualities that she doesn't have. Also, think about how she must feel, since you don't want to take her places. Don't let this compromise your friendship!

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  • You feel like your just the girl in the background, huh? I feel your pain.

    Smile, laugh, wear bright color clothing (that complement your skin tone)..

    What is holding you back when she's around? I am sure it's deeper than just "She's prettier than you."

    My best friend is prettier than me, but also not only that she's more outgoing.. So, she gets more attention that way also.

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  • My best advice as cheesy as it is use your intution and do what feels right to you. If you know its gonna ruin your time and you can feel that then don't do it don't ruin a moment for you for what other people think its not worth it.

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  • Is that you in the picture? Then you're gorgeous as well, I don't know why you're tripping. No homo.

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  • Well I will just be honest with you, if we were friends I would feel the same way about you and I probably wouldn't take you anywhere either lol. So I'm not sure what this girl looks like, but can you glam yourself up to the nines so you can give her some competition? Your hair is long so just curl it up some, wear some makeup like Kim Kardashian style and a sexy dress and heels. Try to out swag her

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  • lls then what you want to hear? smh personally I think your reallt pretty even tho your a crappy friend

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    • I won't lie, I'm a pain at first. I'm gonna have to get over it sooner or later. Thanks though.

  • Girl stop worrying about her. She may be pretty but some men feel they she's out of her league and won't even bother to flirt with her or give her the time of day. Besides from your profile pic, you're pretty as well so I really don't know why you're worried. You ever heard the saying "you look more attractive when you hang out with other attractive people'? Its true. I bet if your friend was an eyesore, you wouldn't want to bring her out because people wouldn't even look your way.

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  • I used to feel the exact same way with one of my friends. Except she's not a model, I'm actually the one who's in the process of modeling. But she's still extremely pretty.

    First off, you really don't have to invite her to protect your reputation lol, that's all in your head. Who cares what people think of you? Why do you feel the need to protect some worthless reputation? And no offense, because I know I'm being harsh, but your reputation is worthless. Unless you absolutely need to have a good reputation for the sake of your career, such as Chris Brown or Barrack Obama; then your reputation has no value. Why work so hard to please and impress a bunch of people who are temporary in your life? They are just little marks on the timeline of your life that have no significance. Most of the people you'll ever meet are momentary and they tend to be not all that valuable so don't worry so much about making them think well of you.

    You really just need to appreciate your looks. They are the only ones you have. Don't compare yourself to her. She is only human. I got over my situation because my friend, although very beautiful, has some serious issues. She dates jerks who treat her like sh*t yet she puts up with it because she wants a relationship. She lies and manipulates and she's gotten so used to getting male attention that she expects it and acts all sad when she doesn't get it. Now, she's gained weigh from college and I'm more toned and in shape than her. When we go places, guys check us both out. You just have to realize that she is human too and just because she's pretty doesn't mean that she is all around perfect and worthy of envy.

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    • Thanks! One of the best answers so far. Yea I kinda only invited her and friends due to fear of my reputation, but I honestly like going places alone and I have a great time either way. Plus every time I invite my friends they make me late or they forget to answer their phones.

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    • Yea but they aren't really interested in those type of events or just don't have enough enthusiasm.

    • If you can't be at the event without having insecurity and self doubt dominate the way you act there, then don't invite her. Who gives a f*** about reputation. Don't work so hard to please and impress people who are momentary in your life. Don't bring her to events if you know she's going to ruin you having a good time.

  • Greens won't help you get over it in the long run ha ha that's sad. Anyways, just don't think about it when you hang out with her and other people

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