Why do usually white men always want to touch a black woman's hair, especially when it's in its natural state?

I do not get perms or relaxers so my hair is natural( very curly and big) and it's a little below my shoulders. I have a boy friend who is white and it's very frustrating to have his hands all over my hair! Just staring,pulling the curls, messing up my curl patten,style, and definition! Of course I always ask him nicely not to touch just look. But he'll say "Sweetie I've never since hair like this" "Dude! It's so curly and soft " I don't think he knows how much time, money, and tears(yes I said tears!) goes into my hair. I've Only dated 5 guys in my lifetime; one white(who I'm talking about now),Native American(hell his hair was longer than mine and I didn't touch it), Black, and Puerto Rican. Out of all these guys Ivan (he looks JUST like CM Punk off of WWE without the Beard) is the only one that I've had this issues with! And it's not just him either I have a few white friends that can't keep their hands to themselves and get up set when they get smacked or cussed at. And I've noticed that my dad doesn't touch my hair or my mom's hair, he'll just "inspect" it and say "umm looks goods. I also remember my mother never letting my touch her hair or when the stylist was done with my hair she say "Now look here baby girl, don't let nobody put they nasty little hands up in yo crown!" but at the end of the day I am happy he likes my hair . I just need to teach this fool to look and not touch. Has anyone on here tried to touch a black woman's hair and gotten smacked? lol


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I went to Greece and 3 guys ran their fingers through my hair asked if it was REAL lol and then were like in awe and said how soft it was. I'm mixed and have ringlet curls and I've always had people touching my hair since I was little kids would yank on them from behind because they ping up. But in all fairness a Colombian guy grabbed my hair a couple times but it was passionate o I don't know if that counts :p

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What Guys Said 5

  • Your guy finds your hair to be different and (for him) unique, and he wants to touch it and feel it and "enjoy" that part of you. While I completely get that you have to do a lot of work to get it the way you want it, you should also remember that he is also showing that he likes and accepts you the way you are, something a lot of girls don't get and would give anything for.

    Figure out a compromise. Maybe one day a week you let him touch it and mess it up if he wants to (not because he wants to mess it up, but because he wants to touch and feel it, and so it gets messed up in the process), and the other days he has to keep his hands off.

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  • Can't say I've ever been in that situation. There was one girl I wanted to date once who had hair like that; but I could never get that close to her. She was too busy spreading her legs for every guy in the neighborhood except me. Finally had to give up.

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  • It's unique and looks good

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  • I'll never touch a girl's hair without her permission first. It's not only black girls hair, I love playing with all girls hair. And no I have never gotten smacked for it.

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  • I can't say iv ever had the urge to do that. And I'm as white as an albino frog.

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What Girls Said 8

  • its more of a curiousity. its different than their hair type. its more fragile and breaks off much easier and our hair has tighter curls

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  • Never happened to me, then again I always have my hair in a bun or ponytail………

    Sorry to stalk & answer a few of your questions. I love your hair by the way ^.^

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  • I touched my nanny's hair when I was 5 and she looked at me like I punched her in the face and said never to touch a black woman's hair lol I haven't tried it since.

    But about your boyfriend... hmm maybe tell him he can only touch it once every 2 weeks or something like that. And if he touches it anymore then he loses sexy time. All my black friends have this problem.

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  • Curiosity

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  • human curiousity

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  • when your the only black person around or one of the few white folks always wanna touch your hair. to me its not flattering. you go around petting dogs and stuff, not stick your hand in ohter ppls hair. I don't think that's appropriate. do you go around putting your hands in white ppls hair? tell them to stop? when I used to live in majority white areas it used to happen to me until I just told them to get the f*** away. unless we're friends and in a conversation about hair you don't get to touch me

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  • I've never experience this. I'm half black and I have long natural hair. But then again people don't touch me in general. I think it might be because white people are more touchy feely than minorities, especially blacks.

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  • Um I don't know about white men. But it is a different texture than others. I prefer natural when it's not tangled.

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