Would you ever date someone who is physically unattractive to you?

Ok the question is basically in the title. Would you ever date someone who has the greatest personality you can ask for but who you do not feel one bit physical attraction to? I always hear women say they only go for personalities, but recently a girl I knew couldn't date this guy (not me before you ask lol) because she could not find him one bit physically attractive! I tried to persuade her but she just couldn't! Yet he treated her like a princess! So could you date someone like this?

  • Yes, I can quiet happily date someone who is completely physically unattractive
    6% (3)0% (0)4% (3)Vote
  • Yes, I can date someone who is not that attractive but has some physical attraction
    54% (27)44% (14)50% (41)Vote
  • No I can only date someone who I have full physical attraction to
    40% (20)56% (18)46% (38)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I couldn't date someone who is physically unattractive to me, but I could date someone I didn't find THAT attractive. Personality is the most important, and for the most cases makes a guy MORE attractive in my eyes, but it doesn't make up for everything. If he physically repulses me, then there's nothing that can make up for that.

    Physicality is a big part of a relationship, so whilst he doesn't need to be an adonis, there needs to be some level of attraction to him otherwise it's just not going to work.

    When I say I go for personality - it means I wouldn't date a guy who has a bad personality, not that I want to date every guy who has a good one. Personality is very important, but there are other factors too, chemistry, and physical attraction are necessary.

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What Girls Said 32

  • I would rather date a guy who had a great personality and looked general than dating some loser who was drop dead gorgeous. As long as they aren't disgusting or really UNattractive, the personality can do a lot to boost the looks. But I have to admit that I've been on dates where the guy can be really sweet and attentive and yet I didn't feel anything.

    As far as your friend goes; he could have been the sweetest guy in the world, but if he just isn't her type there's nothing to do about it. They can be friends, but to be really dating, you have to have physical attraction also.

    I also wanted to add that there IS such thing as being TOO sweet when it comes to guys - so that's maybe your friends problem also. If he was too kind to her, she may have got the feeling that she was better looking or over he's ''level'', and would be less attracted to him. That doesn't mean he should've been an a**hole, but treating a girl like a ''princess'' (especially if you don't really know each other to begin with) isn't the greatest move. We want equals - not servants.

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    • I agree with every word you just said.

      Being really attractive is not as important as NOT being UNattractive. You basically just have to look good enough to take looks off the table. Once it's off the table, personality can really boost overall attractiveness, including physical.

  • Women say that simply because they've had many experiences in which A) A very physically attractive guy turned them off with their personality or B) A guy who was kind of so-so at first became very hot because of his personality.

    Very few women would date a guy who they have zero physical attraction for. Looks matter to us too.

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    • I agree 100%! Sometimes guys don't start off fully physically attractive but as you get to know their personality it's like these joined forces come together and somehow it boosts their hotness way up. But there still has to be that basic attraction otherwise it's friend zone for you.

  • If I can't see myself having sex with him, then no.

    Physical attraction is essential. I need to make it work with an essential element.

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  • No, probably not. But to clarify, as long a a guy doesn't look like Quasimodo chances are I'll find him at least somewhat attractive. I've seen very few guys in my life that I would consider totally unattractive.

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    • lol not to sound like an Ass but your Boyfriend looks a lot like a guy I went to school with whos obsessed with pokemon and is now 26 and still a virgin. Sorry I just couldn't help but laugh at the resembalence he looks almost exactly the same.

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    • Oh, he doesn't play the card game. He plays the video game on the DS. He got Black v White when it came out...last year, I think. He actually got me a copy as well. I've only ever played it on long plane flights, but it's kind of entertaining when you want a mindless thing to do for a long stretch of time.

    • oh OK that makes sense. Kinda just like angry birds. Iv never played it so I don't get what everyones obsession is but appartently its really addicting iv heard.

  • I am going to sound shallow, but I must speak the truth: I will not ever date someone who is physically unattractive to me.

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  • I choose B.I dated one unattractive guy but he has some physical attraction.Look isn't everything for me but at least I need to have a little bit of physical attraction on him beside liking his personality.

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    • Like your honesty. Did his lack of zero looks make you think it couldn't work or did it just fizzle out?

    • He is not totally zero looks but not that attractive.He has a bit of physical attraction otherwise I won't be attracted to him.To be honest if I am not physically attracted to him I don't think I would date him.

  • Never, I would constantly be thinking someone better could come along.

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  • Okay, so here is the main difference for me: there are nice personalities/people who are friendly and then there are people with attractive personalities (who also tend to be friendly), and this works kind of on a sliding scale in a similar manner to physical attractiveness. So if somebody just looks averagish or below, but they have a super attractive personality, that can be a go. Similarly there are plenty of guys who I find super attractive but simply would not date because I don't think of their personalities as being sexually or romantically appealing, even if they are a super fun person to hang out with whose company I enjoy and who's personality is otherwise lovely. Darren Criss is an example of the latter. As long as one of the categories is high, I can find someone attractive. I am actually just beginning to date someone who I find to be not super physically attractive, but is super cute in everything else they do, so I guess we'll see how that goes.

    p.s. sometimes just super sweet does not cut it as an attractive personality depending on who you are trying to impress, wish it did, but alas.

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  • Mhmm. My boyfriend is unattractive. I rejected him a few times and eventually just decided to talk to him. After high school that is haha. He's got a great personality an we've been together for nine months now. He's the complete opposite of what I usually find attractive. Love is blind though, and now I can't keep my eyes or hands off of him. The most difficult thing about him being unattractive is dealing with other peoples reactions. I'm constantly being told that I'm way out of his league; etc.

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    • But he's lost a ton of weight (60 lbs I think) since we started dating, so that probably makes a difference. If he hadn't changed I regret to say I probably wouldn't be with him now.

  • I have dated someone I was not physically attracted to in this past but I loved his personality and it didn't last. Its hard to get serious and stay serious with someone that you have no physical connection with they are cool to hang out with but sleeping with them or kissing them is utterly gross to you after awhile. Honestly if I have no physical attraction to a guy I won't date them because you can break someone down especially if they feel unattractive themselves by dating them and hurting them in the end. If your not physically attracted to a guy leave him alone and give him the chance to find someone that will treat him right if you believe you can't see yourself with him. You should just stay friends with someone like that. Physical attraction is IMPORTANT even though some people may disagree.

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  • I can date someone who is physically unattractive. I've seen guys who are not as attractive to me but because his personality seemed to be out this world, His physical appearance started to change to me. Now if both his personality and looks were far gone then no I couldn't.

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  • Of course! I do it all the time. Why date someone super attractive who treats you like crap? If the guy has an amazing personality, it doesn't matter. Because once you fall for them, they automatically become the sexiest, cutest, amazing person ever, regardless of how they look. That's just my take, at least.

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  • so there is a quote from doctor who that I always use to answer questions like these

    Future Amy: All those boys chasing me, but it was only ever Rory. Why was that?

    Amy Pond: You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick? Then there's other people, when you meet them you think, "Not bad. They're okay." And then you get to know them and... and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful.

    Both: Rory's the most beautiful man I've ever met.

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  • i could maybe date them but would never sleep with them if I didn't find them physically attractive

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  • I would have been the first person to say no, but it I have proven to myself it isn't true. My fiance I originally had no attraction to, we were friends and a grew slightly attracted to him on a superficial level but his personality is what actually reeled me in and kept me there, now I am unable to think about being with anyone else because they just don't attract me and everything about him now attracts me. It could just be me and one success story but I think the most important thing is chemistry which is based highly on how two people react to each other and as circumstances and other factors change can increase or decrease attractiveness.

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  • I think you misunderstood these women. Women typically say they go for men with great personalities, but not "only" good personalities.

    People, men & women need to be physically attracted to each other or it just doesn't work. If the tables were turned, would you?

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  • Of course there has to be some sort of physical attraction. Maybe it wasn't until they got to know them before they saw them as attractive but it has to be there.

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  • The same thing happened to me and one of my friends, I wished they got together but they didn't. :( I personally would give the guy a chance.

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  • i have to be a little bit attracted to them. if not it will never work. it sounds terrible but its true.

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  • I find some chubby guy cute but they better have a nice personality and some charm.

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  • yes, of course. after all, inner beauty!

    ...

    :/

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  • date sure I'll give the guy a chance if he likes me but be my boyfriend ummm no I can't lead him on that far

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  • Absolutely not

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  • Hell no

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  • some physical attraction is important

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  • i vote B

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  • I have crushed on 2 really unattractive guys. I liked them because of their personality. They seemed like really nice guys. They were funny, interesting, and dorky, it made them cute, but not attractive.

    One turned out to be a douche.

    And I have yet to see the other one again :D

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  • Personality factors into physical attraction, actually. Women's sexual attraction is complex and sometimes even we cannot precisely describe why we are sexually attracted to someone or not. Don't confuse sexual attraction and visual attraction. That being a said, pampering a girl won't make her sexually attracted to you any more than her being a good cook will make you more sexually attracted to her. But stuff like intelligence, humor, confidence, knowlege (it varies from girl to girl what these personality turn ons are, but they are generally the same kinds of things that we enjoy in a friend). I've found that flattery is often an overcompensation for a lack of deeper connection.

    Most people enjoy someone who is "nice," but it's not even enough to fuel a deep friendship on it's own, much less a romantic relationship.

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  • Absolutely not, it will never last. I have tried it and it NEVER works. You might as well just date everyone who is your friend if you get along so well. Physical attraction is crucial and there is nothing wrong with NOT dating someone because your not attracted, it is in your BIOLOGY to be attracted to someone or not. I think a lot of people forget that we are mammals sometimes because they're too focused on trying to be a good person. Good person meaning giving the guy your not attracted to a chance. Of course I'm sure there are people who get attracted after awhile but I find the opposite to be true. I have had boyfriends that I have lost attraction to, it just happens!

    I always say that attraction is what initially attracts me, personality is what keeps me around. I can't be attracted to a personality and suddenly get physically attracted. I can however find someone attractive, get to know thm, than find them UNattractive due to their personality.

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  • no, because part of a relationship is sex and attraction and there needs to be a fair amount, otherwise it isn't really a relationship.i think some girls may not care as much though

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What Guys Said 18

  • I wouldn't. There needs to be that necessary extra "zing" to the relationship.

    Plus, it acts as a shock absorber during rocky parts of a relationship. If you two are angry at each other, your personalities are butting up against each other. You aren't nearly as emotionally attracted. But physical/sexual attraction is what holds it together until it mends. It's just too important to go without.

    It's interesting that guys are often called shallow for this. Girls do it about as much.

    Furthermore, the traits I notice the most are the ones you have the most control over. That is, the lifestyle choices and synthetic changes to your own body. If you try to look like Snooki, I'll assume you place her as a role model. If you treat yourself like your boobs and butt are your best traits, you'll only attract people who treat you like a pair of boobs and a butt. Simple as that.

    If you make a conscious effort to put that clothing on in the morning, hit the tanning bed daily, and spend a few hundred bucks on something like shoes, then that absolutely reflects your personality. PC or not.

    And I'll catch a lot of flak for this, but the same often goes for weight. It's not about being thin, it's about not being fat. It's about carrying yourself as though you were SUPPOSED to be whatever weight you are, rather than seeming like your body inhibits you.

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  • I chose B but I'm not a huge fan of the wording. So here is how I would explain my thoughts.

    I have to be attracted to the person, however, that doesn't mean they have to look like a super model, I just personally have to find them special in some way. I've dated many girls that most people would probably give a 6-7 out of 10, even myself included. They were attractive, just not super model material. They're personality made up for the rest.

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  • Of course not, and I'd _hate_ someone to date me under those circumstances. You'd be better off single then the misery of dating someone who didn't find anything attractive about you physically.

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  • Pretty much...imma have to look at her and want to kiss her and "do" her w/o any hesitation or psyching out of myself.

    The average looking girl will satisfy this need for me.

    So average looks is what I require.

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  • There always has to be physical attraction. That's just the way it is. If I can't see myself having sex with the person I'm dating, then I can't date them. Does the person I date have to be a perfect 10? No, definitely not. Personally, there has to be a good amount of physical attraction between myself and the person I date. Personality does play a big part in it, but physical attraction is what gets a person to approach / start conversation.

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  • No. If we have kids the chances of them being unattractive will go up if the mother is unattractive. But seriously, any woman can be beautiful. Personality goes a long way, but some makeup, nice clothes, nice smile, not be obese. You don't need a 7 figure job to be pretty. For a woman not to be she doesn't take care of herself. That's just unfortunate and unattractive.

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  • Honestly, the physical attraction is the instinct that draws you to someone you want to date.

    It's your human mind that forces you to think outside of that desire for physical attractiveness.

    I go with the flow and honestly when I'm not talking or listening to the other person talk. I would kind of like something else there that draws me to the person, their looks would help.

    So I'm going to say I'm shallow and no I could not date someone physically unattractive... But that being said, it's up to each of us individually to decide to ourselves if a person is unattractive or not.

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  • Why would I do that?

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  • I have to be attracted to her to approach her obviously...

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    • Its not even about the approaching, imagine she was a friend who matched your personality 100%?

    • If she's a friend, she's a friend... I don't put girls in the friend zone that I want to be more then friends with...

  • There are parts of a woman's body that I can find very unattractive. In those cases, I would not date the woman.

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  • i would have to be pretty attracted to them to date them

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  • No Go.

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  • Nope. How could I get physical with them if I don't find them attractive? Physical relations are a pretty big part of being in a relationship, if I'm not attracted to them, its just not going to work. They don't have to be perfect, obviously, but I have to find them attractive.

    On the same token, I would never date a girl that didn't find me attractive. I would never be able to be with a girl if I knew she was grossed out by kissing or having sex. How could I even enjoy it when I know she's hating it?

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  • NEVER

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  • No, I need to initially be attracted to her

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  • Nope. They don't have to be the hottest girl I've ever been with. but they do have to attract me...

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  • Never. I just NEED that attraction or I cannot date her, kiss her and make love to her

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  • "I always hear women say they only go for personalities"

    Then those women are liars.

    In my experience most women will be honest, and tell you that they need to be physically attracted to the guy in some way, before they can date him. But they don't need a hunky 8, 9, or 10.

    A guy can posess charm, humour, confidence, and a variety of other attributes that can make up for his physical looks.

    But if a guy is just downright ugly or unattractive, no matter how funny he is, he's going to find it hard.

    I'm at an age where I know from experience that hot girls are too often a headache, and moderate girls are too often hung up about not being hot girls.

    The best girls are the ones who don't care too much about their appearance.

    If you can find a girl who's a little curvy, who never orders salads when she really wants a steak, who never complains about wanting the cheesecake (but I can't, it'll go straight to my thighs) and if she makes you laugh as well... marry that woman, and never let her go.

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    • I totally agree, most women I know need some kind of physical atrraction. The girl I mentioned dates guys that were unattractive but the guy who really liked her had zero looks but had a very charming personality.

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