When I was in my early teens, I started wearing hijab. at that time, all seemed well. my friends were still my friends and I made more still. high school crushes were a little tamed down compared to most, but it was a fun phase nonetheless. last year I started college, and I've noticed that the guys there don't really talk to me much. they usually just give a small smile without saying much and that's it. and when I do get to talk to a guy, he always says something along the lines of "I never knew you'd be this fun ti talk to!" I know I'm not giving off an aura of bitterness or unfriendliness, because even my lecturers say my smile is contagious. so, I'm left to assume my hijab is giving them the wrong impression. do guys really see the hijab as an obstacle of sorts? I need to know, Because I'm crushing on someone and I need to know the best way to approach him. thanks :)
Are you Muslim? I now Muslim girls can only marry Muslim guys so maybe that has to do with it, but that's assuming you are and your parents would be the strict. (if they are too) Besides that in high school you knew everyone before and after you started wearing, so no big deal. But none of the people in college know you. Plus a lot of guys have trouble approaching and getting to know girls, no matter what.
I might be friendly towards her, but I wouldn't hit on her (assuming I were single) because to be honest, I'd be assuming what we'd want in a relationship would be quite different. Maybe I'm wrong. But that would be my assumption.
If I could magically know that wasn't the case, I'd be fine with it.
You know first impressions do matter. And when someone sees you covered - well that's the first impression they will get - that is, you WANT to be covered and protected. that would make guys believe you want to be unreachable to them..and so they will be slow to reach at you.
If a girl wears skimpy clothes, short dresses showing more skin, thighs , butts, cleavages and cameltoes - the first impression is the girl is open and easy to reach..so guys will whistle, jump around her and would be fast to reach to her and even grab on her ...
So as you see first impression matters as I said..
but you can change that impression by showing that you are open type girl despite what you wear, and showing them that you are open, fun, out-going and even looking for some "fun with boys". I happen to know a Muslim "covered" girl, who is as fast as the fastest car and has damn sex more often and more men than you would probably imagine, by judging how she dresses
You will come across as the stereotype that FOX news has implanted into us. Along the lines of you are a quiet, repressed young lady whose islamic religion is more important than your fellow man. And we should be nice to you or you'll put a jihad on us and blow us up on a bus somewhere.
That's just what I've been brainwashed into thinking straight off the bat. Not my fault. Blame the images and sound on tv.
Yes totally. I see a hijab I just don't bother because I assume hijab = quite religious and I assume quite religious = serious and time consuming relationships only and I assume too much risk of wasting my time for no gain
every1 has a right to wear what he/she wants to wear and hence there is no doubt that any one shld stop you as far as what other people think it depends upon their ideology ...secondly if a boy loves you then he shld be well in advance bne aware of your choice and things and sentiments concerning you ...if some1 is truly into you and if he believes and cares about moral rights of a human being ...he shld not see it as an obstacle
I was raised Christian and I don't mind mingling with or dating them. I am getting to know some Muslims now and some of them are awesome. But I am leery of any symbols of any religion being displayed to me. I consider them to be threatening; tokens of deep-seated opinions which are likely to set up future conflicts or come home to bite me in the butt as areas of potential disagreement.
it depends on the guy. most unfortunately aren't as open minded, but there are some who are! my friend who's a hijabi ended up marrying an italian who was quite attractive in my opinion (and that's saying a lot considering I don't get attracted to guys very easily). and my ex boyfriend also told me he wouldn't mind being with a girl who's a hijabi (of course at first he was skeptical but after being exposed to the religion, and if he cared for the girl he wouldn't care what she's wearing in public). so my advice is to let the guy know you first on a just friends basis. and develop your friendship first before anything.
if you don't mind me asking, as a hijabi, isn't it a little contradicting to be dating guys if you're wearing a head scarf in order to not flaunt your beauty to guys?
Well...from my own personal experience, my own mother started wearing hijab because men wouldn't stop hitting on her, even though she was married and had a child...from what I was raised to understand about Islam, the headscarf is meant to perseve modesty and to detour the attention of men. However, I'm going to assume therm you are interested in is Muslim? If that's the case, I don't think there should be a problem with talking to him, but he may put you in the serious marriage category. if the man is non-Muslim, I can see there being definite road blocks because of the headscarf and it's symbolization...I think it screams "not available except for marriage". But that said...anything is possible, really...if you want something, just go after it!
I'm sure it would depend what kind of guy you're looking for. Westernized guys probably wouldn't be okay with it. But if it's a guy who's sued to it/from your own country even then I can't say for sure. Maybe, maybe not.
No offense or anything, but they may not approach you because they probably see the hijab and automatically think you're with the terrorists. I agree with @cathars .
My understanding of Islam and how you view it is limited...though I did learn a bit about it in high school from my Muslim physics teacher, who wore a hijab. Thus, I apologize in advance if I say something that offends you!
My answer, like many others here, is yes; it does put off the guys-- non-Muslim guys, anyway. Actually, it puts off non-Muslims of both gender. I do understand that wearing the hijab allows people to see you for who you are rather than what you look like. However, in America, that's just not how it works. Like others have said, wearing a hijab puts an obstacle between you and others. People will subconsciously be put on guard. Maybe some guys might approach in order to be friendly, but they definitely won't approach to flirt. Wearing a hijab is like wearing a big giant sign that says "BOYS NOT ALLOWED." :/
And it's not that people don't want to approach you because you are Muslim. I think it's more the other way around-- people are wary of how YOU will react to THEM.
Plus, if I remember correctly, a lot of Muslims don't date at all. Their marriages are arranged by their parents; my teacher's marriage was arranged, and she arranged her daughter's. If people know that, they are even more likely not to approach.
If you wear Hijab, then why don't you wear it in your picture?!
Can I assume this picture is before your teen years?!
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