Why is it so hard to find a girlfriend that doesn't enjoy dressing provocatively?

Because she likes feeling sexy? That's it. Why do girls need to do this to feel confident about themselves?

Updates:
Okay, I found some images of what I would consider to be more on the provocative side. It is not necessarily about the clothes, because a woman with small breasts wearing a spaghetti strap is not really as revealing as a woman with very large breasts wearing it. Anyway, here are some examples.


Provocative:


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Preferred: link

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Most Helpful Girl

  • These girl usually have low self esteem and feel the only way they can get attention by men is by showing skin .i feel that this is degrading to women .i was raised to dress modestly in my appearance why show your greatest assets to men who don't deserve it, only my husband gets to see me uncovered :)

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    • Thank you Nautica...you are exactly the kind of woman I am looking for! I couldn't agree more. The way I see, I have to work to see it, so why should others get to see it for free? All these other users are exaggerating in suggesting I should hit up a church. Just because I don't want my woman showing her t*ts to the world doesn't mean I want an Amish woman either..

What Girls Said 23

  • Youre not talking to the right women then. There are many women who dress very classy and that's what makes them feel confident. As for why another large group think they need to do this, media, social pressures. Some feel like that's the only way to get attention. It's unfortunate, but that's how some think. Also some women just like knowing that they are desirable by men and that's the best way to test it.

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    • Well, you pretty much answered my question without being rude and suggesting I visit a church, so thank you very much. And yes, you're right. It's sad, I wish I could find a woman like that, but I guess my only chance are nuns? hahaha.

    • Hahaha obviously not. There seem to be many girls who answered your questions saying I DONT DO THAT. So I'm sure they're out there ;)

  • This depends on what your definition of provocative is. I like to dress nicely, in ways that show off my figure, but I never show too much skin. But this is simply the type of fashion I enjoy. I don't care if men find it "sexy."

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    • Good, seems tasteful to me.

    • I would never dress the way you posted in your update. I like to wear dresses that go about mid-thigh though. I wear sweaters to work but otherwise, spaghetti straps it is.

    • "Preferred" is far more my style, although the last white dress is a little short for my taste.

  • While you are saying that you want a confident woman who doesn't consider ogles from men to be validating, you are probably ogling those women that you assume aren't confident. lol irony. I say this because plenty of girls do not dress in the way that you define provocative. It seems like you just pay more attention to the provocatively dressed ones and overlook the more conservatively dressed ones. It's ignorant to assume that you know someone's confident level by the amount of skin they show. Get to know people and you'd be surprised.

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    • It's ignorant to assume that is what I spend my time doing, and even more ignorant assume this question is based off of random strangers who's level of confidence I am taking a shot in the dark at based on how they dress. This question is based off of the answers I have received from women I have asked personally, which means I KNOW these people, okay guru?

    • I just assumed that because there are plenty of women who do not dress provocatively, yet you're focusing on the ones who do...

    • Well yes, because that is the topic of my question. Duh?

      Assuming is the mother of all f*ck ups, you should keep that in mind.

  • First seeing all the links I found 2 maybe 3 pics provocatives. Then I wonder more about you feeling insecure about women wearing dresses or bare v neck.

    Cause you said girlfriend, and if your girlfriend likes to dress "sexy" are you afraid she's gonna look attractive to other guys and leave you? Maybe you feel threaten by other guys.

    I mean we like to look pretty there's nothing more we put in the dressing. If she has a flirty behavior, hitting on other guys well that's where you should be concerned, not because she wants to put a mini skirt.

    Do you know kthe sentence "never judge a book by its cover" you could get pass the one because of that.

    Dressing sexy is not the thing that makes us feel more confident. Sure we may get compliments but honestly we don't really care about guys whom notices us that way. We feel hundred times more confident when a guy will say we're sexy cause we're into the same thing than him, or that he loves our smile, or laugh thant the outfit.

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    • this is the old dancing around questions...everyone knows that most of the relationships end up because of modern day clothing...no one cares what's the book says with or without cover...showing your t*ts is gonna attract other guys...and also people don't even care about marriage this days...you f*** her and its over...see another girl who has got great body and f*** her...

    • Try to read the question next time. He said girlfriend not one night stand or casual sex. Just wondering who the hell you are, cause its not your question, hence its not you I was answering to.

  • i never dress like that. I dress the way I like, and if guys don't like it too bad :)

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    • Don't worry perverts like it

    • You sound like a confident woman, and confidence is sexy. Don't change, because there are people like me who find a woman confident enough to not need to be validated by ogling men very, very sexy.

  • Well, if by "provocatively" you mean showing ankles and shoulders, you should probably head down to the nunnery. If you mean dressing like she's in a hip hop video, then it sounds like you're picking the wrong type of girl or looking in the wrong places. You wouldn't look for gourmet food at a gas station. If you're at a sketchy club and looking for a girl dressed like she's going to church, it's not gonna happen. Trust me, not all girls dress provocatively, me included. Keep looking and maybe expand where you're looking.

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    • That's exaggerating a bit. Clearly, showing a woman exposing fingers on her hand is not provocative. I meant more so a woman wearing a shirt that reveals her entire back, bra, side boob, etc. Do you think this is provocative? I think so, but apparently this is just me having high standards...

    • Good answer:)

  • Women enjoy and thrive on being desired. Getting attention is a part of that. Now there are different degrees and intents.

    All women like to look good and be desired. It take time find the right combo.

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  • Because it boosts her confidence and enjoys the attention. Men have made women the way they are, so don't even complain. Now, if you don't want your girlfriend dressing provocatively, tell her. she's your girlfriend and I'm pretty sure your opinion matters. I, for myself, don't dress like that. There's the right time and place to dress provocatively.

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    • I can complain if I want, because I am not part of them men you speak of. And we have spoken about it and she says she understands, but I'm just curious because every girl I have dated does this, for the same exact reason. What is this time and place you speak of?

  • Yeah, because there is a very obvious connection between a girl's outfit and what men would find sexy or appropriate. Get over yourself. Who gives a sh*t if it's about provocation or attention, why shouldn't women be able to dress however the f*** they want without having to consider other people's reactions and opinions? What is this, the 50's? Women with large breasts shouldn't wear tight shirts and nobody should ever emphasize their curves, legs or butt? Like nobody knows they're there, so they should just stay hidden. Right. F***you.

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  • Try the girls at your local church, you will be in conservative heaven!

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    • And I'm guessing that's probably not where I'll find you, eh?

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    • Your idea of provocative is typical summer wear for most women... I can see why you're having such a hard time now.

    • You may be surprised how some conservative girls are away from church.

  • I don't do that. I think people who do that play up the only thing they are good at: looking hot. There are a lot of girls who don't do dress like that.

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  • I agree with the other girls, I know a lot of girls who would only wear sweaters and pants. I could hook you up if that's what turns you on?

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    • No thanks I already have a girlfriend I was just wondering why some women feel this way.

  • theres always amish country

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    • So what's your point? And where exactly is this country?

    • my point is girls are going to dress the way they want. its pretty much impossible to not find shorts that are too short or skirts that are too short unless you shop in the misses section. amish country is in ohio and pennsylvania

  • I think she looks nice. Your link!

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  • I wear whatever I think is pretty and suits me. I won't purposely buy something just to expose things.

    If anything, I hate hanging out and constantly have to pull up my damn shirt.

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    • Okay, I can understand that. But whether purposefully or accidentally, my woman's breasts showing in public is not something I am okay with. It's just my preference, and I feel it is pretty reasonable. It's not like I'm asking her to wear a turtleneck in a hot, humid, summer day?

  • Perhaps your standards are too high?

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    • Yes maybe this is true. It's sad to think wanting a modest woman is asking for too much these days...

    • What do you think about the links he has of dress styles that he considers "too provocative"?

    • I don't know where you live, but in your provocative links, I do not see young women dressing that ways in the mid west, at least not so much. They dress more to your liking. Maybe you should move.

  • There are plenty girls who don't dress provocatively it's just that they don't get noticed.

    To answer your question male approval usually makes girls feel confident. Keep in mind that if you ask most of them about it, they will say it is not say it's to attract the attention of guys. This is a lie. I've said it before and I'll say it again, girls love attention, especially male attention. This is normal girl behavior.

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  • I personally don't feel like I typically dress provocatively (meaning I might on a night I go out occasionally or something but not on a daily basis), but like beauty itself we all have various ideas of what we think fits the term you know. I think that many women find the feedback they get flattering and so that feeds their confidence.

    But we all have our preferences and I don't think there's anything wrong with you having yours(:

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  • i don't do this.

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  • If men weren't always lusting over girls who are all exposed, the majority of the girls who do dress slutty on a normal basis wouldn't do it, for the most part... However, dressing provocatively once in a while is normal. As in, occasionally it's okay.

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  • perhaps the reason you can't find them, is because you're too busy looking at the provocatively dressed one! You have to be blind not to see them.

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    • Or maybe the ones I think are modest don't reveal to me they're okay with dressing provocatively until after the fact? That's also a possibility to you know...

  • i think you'd be surprised by how many girls there are out there who don't dress provocatively. I'm one of those girls...so is my twin sister, my college roommate, my two suitemates, my friend Sarah down the hall, my best friend Rachel, and I could go on and on with this list...

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    • Yes but the problem there in lies in our definitions of "provocative." My girlfriend didn't think exposing almost her entire bra was a big deal, although she did say if it bothered me she would not do it. It's just would like it more if she saw what I saw as provocative, provocative as well, you know?

    • i understand where you're coming from haha. I myself am struggling with someone where our definitions of things don't match up.

  • You should try dating women who are uncomfortable with their bodies and sexuality

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    • I'm just saying..if you say you're hot and then not show it..it'd be like saying "I'm Jesus" and then not proving it by not walking on water. Also, do you think Jesus ever said "yolo"?

    • I don't have to prove anything to you. all I'm going to say is that ...thats my personal experience .

What Guys Said 6

  • Can you give an example photo of what you mean by a woman "dressing provocatively"?

    Maybe you're idea of provocative, most girls will find "normal".

    That would help us answer this question! 8-)

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    • @update

      Frankly...a girl with a body like that, usually has EARNED that body through taking care of themselves...and will want to wear stuff like that.

      But BOTH a mid-driff and a short skirt is rare for a girl to wear simultaneously.

      Would you be OK with a minishirt and a more conservative tank top or blouse, or a mid-driff top with pants or a longer skirt?

    • I see your point but I don't agree. I myself go to the gym and work out and consider myself in shape but I has nothing to do with feeling I have earned the right to "showcase" my accomplishments, I am more modest than that. And if you think that apparel is rare, visit a local club my friend...

      And it depends on how short the skirt is. Like I've been trying to get across, I am not a prude, I just don't like my woman not being able to take a step without every man on the street sneaking a peek.

    • I feel like being able to see such things is a privilege to be earned, do you know what I mean? I don't think that is me being unreasonable...

  • I heard that sometimes women tend to be in competition with each other as much as trying to attract guys so some of it might be trying to show other girls they are more sexy by being provocative.

    I think provocative clothing should be saved for when you are on a date or when trying to pick up a boyfriend but even than there's no need to over do it.

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  • Why are you not confident enough and trusting enough to date a girl who dresses 'provocatively'?

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    • It has nothing to do with confidence. It has everything to do with wanting a woman who respects herself and doesn't need the lecherous stares of men to validate her self-image. If you like people staring at your girlfriend, that's cool, send me her nude pics then Mr. Confident.

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    • see what you're saying si that dressing immodestly is necessarily advertising, and what I am saying is that it is not necessarily advertising, and I have given another reason. So if you trust her, it's probably the other reason. if you don't trust her, then break it off regardless.

    • It is not necessarily advertising (as in the case where it's balls hot outside), and it's not NOT necessarily advertising. It depends on the context, I agree. I am basing this question in a particular recurring situation where women I've known enjoy dressing very provocatively in environments where men go to pick up women and advances are to be expected. It's similar to going to compton wearing diamonds around your neck...you're either a fool or want to get mugged.

  • Women get confidence from dressing like this. Why shouldn't a woman be able to be confident this way?

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    • She can of course, but it is not my preference. Similar how to a woman would not like a man whom is only confident when being complimented...but confident merely by nature.

    • Haha well in the one pic, I think the redhead is a p*rnstar..I could be wrong though, so she's sort of expected to dress scantily but the rest seem fine. Especially the blond with the jeans, She's actually dressed perfectly

  • What are you gay

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  • It's hard to find people who have real morals, but aren't strictly religious.

    In my experience, those are the people you are looking for.

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