Whenever I get to the point where I start to feel pretty or attractive and really believe that I am, I usually end up stumbling along a picture of a really pretty girl (obviously way more beautiful than me) and feeling like crap again. It's weird because I know that guys have been attracted to me, but where I've never had a boyfriend before I always feel like it's something to do with the way I look and I always question why guys are interested (like, there are pretty girls than me, why are you choosing me instead of them?). And it's frustrating and really knocks my confidence. How do you deal with this?
Most Helpful Girl
To me, personality trumps looks by far.
Beauty is transient; and there is nothing worse than a girl whose confidence is entirely built by her appearance because as time goes by her sense of self fades with her beauty and she will become troubled and feel worthless. You've seen examples in literature, like Blanche in Streetcar Named Desire, Amanda Wingfield in Glass Menagerie, and celebrities who desperately try to validate their self worth and turn back time by going through one botched plastic surgery over another. I know it's difficult to ignore the social pressures especially at your age, when we are most self conscious about our appearances. But this IS true: many guys are actually attracted to a beautiful, stunning personality and confidence; I know these girls who are only average in their looks but have amazing personalities and truly know how to make guys laugh-- they are the ones who have plenty of guys crushing on them.
Also, appearances can be damaged and altered in once second-- imagine suddenly contracting vitiligo or other types of skin diseases, or getting yourself trapped in a fire or car accident.
Just be genuine, and don't interact with guys with your current mindset; just think of interacting with their souls and NOT their physical features. If you learn not to focus on their physical appearance but their character and personality, maybe you can do that for yourself too. Also, STOP critiquing yourself. You're your worst enemy right now-- you keep destroying your own self esteem! And as you said yourself, guys had been attracted to you so you really shouldn't have anything to worry about. (I myself never had a boyfriend either and am pretty sure that no guy in my class is crushing on me, but oh well :P)
I bet you're the type that refuses to accept compliments, no? I used to do that too, I refuse to believe it when people compliment me and say something like "stop being so sarcastic, you know that I'm (negative adjective)" But once I started saying thank you genuinely, I feel a lot more confident and happy with myself.
As for improving your appearance, Just remember that sleep and water are your BFFS. drink lots of water and your skin will glow with radiance. Also, it doesn't hurt to work out and improve your health. :) Find a style of fashion that you like and flatters you.
Sorry for blabbering. I hope this helps a bit :P0