The height question (directed at women, but guys can chime in too)

So I was into this girl for a while now and I decided that I would make a move but I was hesitant to do this because she is slightly taller than I am. We have a lot of mutual friends so after she rejected me, I was able to get inside info from one of her friends and she told me that she rejected me mostly due to my height. My real question is if I should even bother trying with girls who are taller than I am. The only thing about myself that I'm insecure about is my height (I'm only 5'5)...so I tend to go for shorter women (though I've had women shorter than in the past say that I'm too short lol). But I'm not really hung up on height so I usually like to try anyways, but should I bother? Is height really that important? ...and how screwed am I...hah


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am going to be honest here, and will probably sound a bit shallow, but here goes...

    I am 5'10" and I find it VERY hard to be attracted to shorter men. Now, this is not due to the fact that a short man is unattractive. It is due to the fact that when I am taller than a guy, it tends to make me feel less feminine. I also like to wear heels, so if he is already shorter, imagine how much I would tower over him in 5 inch heels!

    However, if I truly liked a guy, and he was only like an inch or two shorter, I would probably be unphased by it. However, if he was 5 - 6 inches shorter than me, I would find it very intimidating.

    But, like I said, it isn't because I don't find him attractive, it is more because it would make me feel insecure about how much I tower over him.

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    • Yeah, fair enough

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    • Holy sh*t, tall as or taller than most guys I know XD 6'4"

    • I thought this was a great and honest answer, so you get B.A.

What Girls Said 16

  • Just like you prefer taller girls, most girls prefer taller men. Although, not everyone is like that, sometimes we have to lower our standards or stay alone for a longer period of time, if not forever.

    I wouldn't suggest backing off from taller girls if that's what you're mostly attracted to, there are some girls who don't mind it as much, but you'd probably have better luck chasing the little ones. hehe good luck.

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    • lol, well I don't "prefer" taller women. I just said I didn't mind dating a taller woman

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    • Eh that's not it at all. One thing I said was

      " (though I've had women shorter than in the past say that I'm too short lol)."

      Being short isn't an advantage period, because even short women don't want a guy who is tiny compared to everyone else. And if you are competeing with a taller guy for the same girl, who do you think has the advantage right off the bat. Do you understand? I don't "prefer" taller women. But I am quite fine with dating one. I just wanted to know how...

    • and I didn't say I was screwed to have to be with shorter women, at all. I said, "how screwed am I" without making any specific references to any kind of woman...

      I meant how screwed am I in the dating world in general being a short guy...

  • I'll be honest, I prefer guys who are taller than me. Which generally isn't an issue. I'm 5'3. For me I think it's kind of like his height is an indication of how well he can protect me and envelop me. Obviously, that's not entirely true. Some shorter guys can be a lot more cuddly and protective. It just feels nice to be fitted that way to him. When I met my current boyfriend I was kinda like "oh...he's only an inch taller than me..." but then I met him in person and I didn't think about the height stuff at all past the first 5 minutes. He's cuddly enough for me and I know that he has the ability to be protective if he needs to be.

    I say go for it. If some girl gets stuck on the height thing, she's not even worth it. It's superficial and dumb.

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  • You're not screwed at all. That girl is shallow if she can't get over a slight height difference. As long as you don't look like you're really young or something just because of your height, you're fine. I'm 19 years old and 4'9" and people keep telling my I look like I'm 14. If anyone's screwed, it's me! haha

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    • Its not shallow its preference. But no he shouldn't give up.

    • Hey, petite girls are the best so don't let your smallness bring you down!

    • Height for a girl doesn't matter like it does for guys

  • Okay, I'll be honest, my preference for a guy is taller than I am. But also considering that I'm 5'9, it's hard to find sometimes. Don't get freaked out by the height thing, girls love it because it means you have great posture. Women's preferences are as different grains of sand but if a girl rejects you just because of your height, it sounds like she's not worth your time.

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  • im 5 foot 7 and I've been in love with a guy up to my nose for a year and a half and height has never been much of a factor to me, you just have to find the right girl.it annoys me so much when girls who are like 5"3 find a guy a whose like your height and say there not tall enough, even though I thought most girls wanted a guy whose just taller not 23456 feet taller! but people are shallow. you don't really have too much of a dilemma, the average height for American girls is 5'4 so

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  • No, height is not a factor for me (I'm only 5'3 so I haven't really met any guys shorter than me) but I think anyone caught up on physical features you have no control over is not worth dating. Also there are lots of hot short guys and ugly tall guys and vice versa. Personality and values are important. Height is not. And if height bothers you that much (which it shouldn't) there are some very discreet lifts you can put in shoes. Though I still say she wouldn't be worth it.

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  • what can I say. I personally wouldn't go for short guys either. But it is just matter of preference. You might find women who have no issues with height.

    But seriously don't believe all these females here telling you how height doesn't matter and how cool it is to have a tall girl with a short guy. In real life they will do just the opposite.

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    • It just sucks when ones preference ends up being the consensus view among women. Its not quite like a girl who only like blond guys. That can be overlooked because its not the consensus view. But women who actually like short men is in a tiny minority. That's why it sucks a lot more than you may think

  • I'm 18 years old and I'm 4'11 a guy 5'5-6'0 is ideal for me. Find a shorter girl and you will have much better luck. I believe a lot of women think they cannot be taller then there man! It is a dumb thing but it is just how our society is nowadays. Go for shorter girls! I'm not saying all women taller then you will reject you, chances are just higher for it. The right woman, tall or short, will accept you for who you are. You are def not completely screwed by any means.

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    • Reassuring! Thanks =P

  • I'm only 5'02 so I don't know what to tell you, but to me height doesn't matter if I really like the guy.

    Though I must say that there are girls who will reject you because of the height, but there are girls who doesn't care as well.

    I know that my brother's girlfriend is a bit taller than him, and that's not stopping either of them, so it's not impossible :)

    Good luck :)

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    • Nice =) thanks for your input

  • 5'5" isn't that bad. Though, some girls still want you to be taller. When they have high heels on.

    Shrug it off.. A short guy with a tall girl is pretty hot.

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  • The guy I have something with is 2 inches shorter then me. Height isn't worth focusing on.

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  • Oh cool, we can be short together, I'm 5'5 ^.^

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  • I prefer tall guys

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    • That doesn't really help me, but thanks lol

  • I personally would think it's cool to be taller than my boyfriend for once, but I'm not going to lie and say many girls feel that way :P That doesn't mean you shouldn't bother, especially if you've got a personality going for you (also, you're cute, so that's a bonus). Luck is a pretty big factor, too.

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  • You shouldn't give up just like that. Yeah girls like taller guys but if you have a great personality girls can easily get over it. Not all girls are the same, some girls can be intimidated by really tall guys. You just have to play the field and see how things go.

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    • Yeah I won't give up

    • Girls like tall guys really? I'm only 5'10 and I get rejected all the time. Sorry OP didn't mean to make that sound bad.

    • Lol, no worries

  • I've had friends who dated a guy who was shorter than they were ... but it's not super common. If you can handle rejection well, go after whoever you want. It sounds like you shake things off fairly well -- "not even bothering" is really a way to manage expectations. You have a cute face and seem to be intelligent and well adjusted ... so you do have lot going for you. There will always be people who don't like what even the best person has to bring to the table, so rejection is sometimes inescapable.

    BUT ... 5'6 is considered moderately tall for a woman, so there are plenty of women who are your height or below...so if you do decide to date shorter girls exclusively, you'll still have a ton to choose from.

    What I wouldn't do, is try to date tall girls only, just to try to prove something to yourself. There are fewer of them and many do prefer a guy who is at least their height (though, like I said, it's not a given and sometimes girls do date guys who are shorter than them).

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What Guys Said 10

  • As with people, girls are all different. Seems like you were able to move on fairly well. That girl just preferred taller men. Not all women do, some will be interested in a shorter man than themselves.

    If you prefer to date women that are taller than you are, do so. Just go in knowing that a lot will be subject to societal norms.

    For instance, I think a gal that's taller than I am (I'd say she's 5'9" and I 5'4") is interested in me. While would date her, there's a "some days she's attractive and other days she's not" when I see her. I chose not to date her, but it's other things (more than the height) that "gave me reservations" on dating her.

    In the end, date who you want and see what happens.

    This may help.

    link

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  • I'm 5'9" and would love to be taller, but I love short, petite girls so it doesn't bother me and it shouldn't bother you. I've also been with girls that are slightly shorter than me and a bit taller than me as well. Any girl that gives you crap about your height is not a girl you want to be with anyways. The more you focus on your height being an issue, the worse it's going to get. You have to wire this out of your thinking man, it's difficult I know, but you have to work on it.

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  • Stick to shorter girls, although even they have preferences for tall guys so either way your chances are pretty low

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  • Reasons of rejection always seem shallow, but the truth is that it must be a combination of things. I can't imagine your height being the only thing that's keeping her from dating you. We just point out the obvious when we need to explain our preference, but each person is unique and it's pretty hard to match someones preferences. You can get away with one or two 'shortcomings' if your other features are considered positive, I think.

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  • Im 6'1 so I don't have your problem but I'm balding so I guess I got my own set of prejudices against me. Only thing you can do is sport it proudly and you'd be surprised how little it matters.

    Also... I really love petite girls!

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  • A lot of girls prefer taller guys apparently. Some of the shorter girls like shorter 'but still taller than them' guys. Personally I don't care much for height unless a girl is over 6'4" it might be a little weird..

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  • I in the same the same boat man I'm 5'5 but its really nothing to worry about. I reason when I hear about girls having a tall guy preference is mostly arbitrary preferences and says nothing bad about you.

    But I see where your coming from I rather be broken up for a reason that I could analyze and fix and not for the fact that my parents happen meet each and hit it off.

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  • Look at the bright side, your not bald or fat so you still got chances

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  • Damn dude. You're only 5'5? You're screwed. Because not only tall girls want tall guys but also average height girls want tall guys so they can't look taller than you with heels on. Even a girl who's 5'2 will look taller than you with heels on. Plus girls as short as 5'0 would want taller guys because they love to tip toe to kiss a really tall guy and they feel protected and special around a much taller guy. Sorry but that sucks. 5'5. Of course none of these girls will be dead honest like this because they don't wanna sound mean but it is how it is. Make a lot of money though. Once you're rich then you can get any type of girls. No matter what the height.

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  • It's not that important - to the point where I *seriously* doubt your version of events.

    I can imagine you *thinking* it was because of your height. I can imagine you asking her friends too. But more importantly, I can imagine her friend saying one thing and you hearing something completely different, because I've seen that's how some insecurities manifest themselves.

    Like 10 girls say height (or penis size, for example) doesn't matter. And one girl says it does. And the insecure guy suddenly starts saying "Well everyone here is telling me it matters!"

    They have a serious perception problem, and can't see reality when it's shouting at them.

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