If you are a shy guy who is not the best looking how do you get a beautiful girl to like you?

I just want a beautiful girl to like me. I need someone to love me because I am sad.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, you really need to start liking yourself before you try and find somebody beautiful to like you. Even if you do get the girl, you'll spend a large majority of the relationship wondering why she's with you, so you really need to look at yourself, inside and out, and find something about yourself that you really like. Big or small. Are your eyes a nice color? Is your hair a certain way that you like? Do you have a wonderful sense of humor? Whatever it is, focus and enhance it. Not only will you feel better about yourself, but your new found confidence will shine and you'll come off as more attractive.

    Secondly, you need to know this one simple line: nobody completes you, they complement who you are. This means that when you're looking for that beautiful girl, don't look for her just because you want her to make you feel better about yourself. Look for somebody special who can teach you something new about life or make you think in a new way or makes you laugh or treats you well.

    Thirdly, just be yourself. If you do all these things to change yourself into who you think a beautiful girl wants you to be, you won't get very far with it. You don't want to change so much that you don't even recognize yourself. You also don't want to make any major changes because if you're with this girl for a while, you'll start to get comfortable and no longer keep up the act of perfection. So if you pick a girl and start acting all nonchalant, she might be like 'who is this guy?' because you yourself and you the 'perfection won't be anything like she expects/was used to

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    • I feel I have nothing to be confident about though. I am kind of smart but that does not make me happy.

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    • Recently I got rejected by this guy I liked for months (at least I THINK I got rejected). he's pretty shy, so he never told me how he felt about anything and now he just up and disappeared on me. yeah, I'm bummed about it, but now I know that I want somebody who's a little more open than he was. I don't hate the guy or anything like that, but I was always going after the quiet type and then getting mad about them being... quiet, haha. so now I know what I'm looking for and I'm attracted to that.

    • You basically live and learn, but the thing is - you have to put yourself out there a little bit. if you're always shying away in the corner, you won't get seen or you'll look intimidating. you say you're not the best looking guy in the world, but honestly - that's your opinion. the way you view yourself is completely different from the way you're viewed by the world. I know tones of GORGEOUS people who think they're ugly or average. and there are ugly/average people who think they're DIVINE.

What Girls Said 18

  • I HONNESTLY believe that a persons personality is what makes them beautiful .. I'm really popular at school people always comment on how gorgeous I am too .. but I like a nerd .. whos not the greatest looking and pretty shy too .. but I like him because he has the most amazing personality I have ever come across! people often comment on my crush .. asking why would you go for a dork like him .. blah blah blah well all I have to say is F*CK EM! I like him because his personality is breath taking! that's all there is too it! show people who you really are! and don't be shallow .. saying you want a beautiful girl to like you is so stupid .. there plenty of average girls out there who are so sweet!

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    • Recently I got rejected by this guy I liked for months (at least I THINK I got rejected). he's pretty shy, so he never told me how he felt about anything and now he just up and disappeared on me. yeah, I'm bummed about it, but now I know that I want somebody who's a little more open than he was. I don't hate the guy or anything like that, but I was always going after the quiet type and then getting mad about them being... quiet, haha. so now I know what I'm looking for and I'm attracted to that.

    • Sorry, I didn't mean to put that here, haha

  • Some girls like shy guys, you don't need to be drop dead handsome to find a girl. Just be yourself, don't try to be something your not. That's the worst way to get someone to like you, becuase then your faking being yourself, and once they find out your lieing to them and yourself, the relationship can fall.

    Just be straight up with them, that's what most girls want, honesty. Maybe you could go somewhere you enjoy being and find a girl, who shares the same interest.

    Also, be a gentleman, and treat her right, but I'm sure I don't need to tell you that. lol

    I know everyone here is saying be cofident and outgoing, which is hard for a shy nature person, I mean you can't just get up one morning and say, "Today I'll be Cofident". It takes time to be cofident with yourself. So I'm just saying, being shy is okay, I know many girls who think it's cute. Plus once you get to know someone, you'll open up more.

    Sorry I blabbered. I just hope I can help out.

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  • ok so I think confidence is kind of important to get what you want.. this doesn't mean you have to be extremely confident or anything. you would really have to change a bit to achieve this. take small steps in that direction. try simply smiling at someone on the street or elsewhere (like a cute girl you see) whatever the reaction is, it really doesn't matter. your probably never going to see that person again. just keep doing this till you get confident enough to try it on someone you do see around a bit. and then maybe you could move onto saying hi.. then a conversation... I know its easier said then done but it is important.

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  • You just have to be outgoing and funny. I know that there have been guys that I normally wouldn't notice, but when they pull out the humor I can't help but become attracted to them. Also be a gentleman. Just appear confident. I love confidence.

    But why does it have to be a beautiful girl exactly?

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    • I do not necessarily mean beautiful in terms of looks.

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    • What about my shyness though it takes me a while to become comfortable around people so that would probably be a turn off for girls.

    • Well some girls do like shyness. but I will tell you it would be much easier to meet girls if you weren't shy. I know its hard, I myself am really shy. You just have to put being nervous aside and put yourself out there.

  • Stop telling yourself you're "not the best looking." If you're sad and you think little of yourself, girls will sense that. If you can be comfortable with yourself, girls will like you.

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    • I am not comfortable with myself though and I can't be either, from experience girls only want good looking guys.

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    • Well yeah, the right guy would make me happy too :]

      But I wouldn't rely upon the "right guy" for my happiness. He would just be an added bonus.

    • Thanks for everthing I guess.

  • heres the problem I have with your question

    you say your not the best lookin, right? well, many "very beautiful" people, have high standards, which yes is wrong. so I think you need someone who is right for you, not just pretty. but if there's a pretty girl who's nice, and you actually like her for your personality. then just be funny, be sweet, if she likes you, she likes you. if not, sorry better luck next time

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  • If you really want a girl to like you you have to get over the shyness for a minute and go talk to her. It shouldn't be just about looks. Personality outshines a pretty face any day. Be confident in yourself. If she blows you off then she's missing out.

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  • Girls like confidence... that's pretty much all there is to it. I would work on feeling better about yourself then going from there. If a beautiful girl judges you ONLY on looks anyways she isn't worth your time... just remember confidence is sexy. good luck!

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    • Why is confidence so important though.

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    • So pretty much I will not find a girl that likes me.

    • Yes you will do things that make you feel good

  • you have to think like you already have everything you need for them to like you. when you believe in yourself, so do we. also just take care of yourself (dress well etc) and take steps to conquering your shyness.

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  • make her laugh! I know its sounds stupid but I pay most attention to the funny sweet guys who give me attention.

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  • think about all of your good qualities to get you confident, then go talk to her...try to keep the conversation interesting, leave her wanting more!

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  • Well, what are you into? Do you put yourself out there? I mean girls are raised (for the most part) that they want a guy to approach them and give them attention ie buy them drinks or whatever.

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  • Its the beauty and the geek :)

    just be your funny natural self and the right girl will come around.

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    • But what girl would like a guy who is not attractive.

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    • I just lack confidence and looks too. I just feel that girls look for looks in a guy at first which I don't have.

    • Not to be rude...but...maybe you are aiming to high in looks for girls...you say that you are not good looking, but you want the good looking girls...stay in your look level..if you are a 6 ...go for the 6-7 and if you're lucky 8...don't go for the 9 or 10..cause she will probably go for the 8-9-10 !!!... The girls in your level are probably nicer and have more in common with you than the 8-9-10's...they care about their looks and want a man who does the same thing!!!

  • I think I'm beautiful.

    And I love you!

    Yay!

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  • Why don't you just get make over or something,urself esteem sounds kind of low.Real talk a girl will judge ur by urlooks before she even knows u.Just get a new look and don't sit aroiund and wait for someone get out there.

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    • What kind of look though and would that really help my self esteem?

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    • I just don't know what to do?

    • Be happy dpn't let one moment in life bring you down..ur worried about it too much don't depends ur happiness on someone else.

  • You trully have to shine in your personality. And bring ur confidence up. I understand tht ur shy,but you won't get what you want if you don't come out of ur comfort zone and take charge. you don't have to be 100 percent dominant, but you do have to be willing to take risks. I understand ur shy. I use to b shy myself but slowly comin out of my shell by going up to say hi to new ppl. you have to be able take those risks.

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  • You shouldn't want to find a girl because your sad;

    a girl should come up to you or you meet a special

    girl. And if your a shy guy, some girls are turned

    on by that. Just be yourself and girls will start lining

    up!

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    • No they won't I have been myself for years and not one girl seemed interested.

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    • Do you have any girl friends?

      If so they should try to find a girl for

      you, since you are scared in social

      situations; && since they know you

      they sorta have the knowledge of

      finding a girl for you.

    • I have no female friends.

  • I am extremely shy and good looking is the last thing I would call myself. I just want a guy to like me period.

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    • I am sure a guy would like you though.

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    • Same to you.

    • Anyone think these two should email each other? possible love connection!

What Guys Said 12

  • No girl is going to date a guy out of pity.

    In your case I suggest start living an attractive life style with hobbies, lots of friends and nights out etc.

    A life where other people would want to be a part of.

    I'm just copy pasting this from an other answer I gave to a similar (really broad) question:

    The thing is. That the art of attraction is so complex that it will take me hours to write down how to go from eye contact to approaching, getting a number, making a date, creating attraction, making out, having sex, how to deal with her after sex (which I btw made an audiotape of at becomeaplayer.com) to getting in a long term relationship and to breaking up :D

    I can't explain all of that in 3000 words even if I wanted too.

    And even IF you learn all the stuff, it will still take months of trial and error before you have perfected it and can flawlessly attract women left and right.

    Good luck.

    This is a free 200+ page book which explains allot Read link

    Or check out link which also gives good advice especially for teens.

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    • BTW I wrote 2 articles in the "article and stories" section about this so check them out!

  • You need to love yourself buddy. And I don't mean whip out the Jergens. I mean, do things that build your confidence. Do hard things and revel in your accomplishments. Build something, repair a car, take a hard class, play ping-pong, whatever gets you up, even if it's beating Gears of War on hard mode.

    Find your good qualities and maximize them. Furthermore, find your dream, what you want to do in the future, that career outlook that you love. Once you do that, your personality will shape itself and you will be an unstoppable force.

    A girl won't love a guy who doesn't love himself. Chances are you aren't that ugly and just think so because you have so much emotional baggage. I've been through that and my goal as a future Social Worker is to help kids out that have been through teenage trauma. You probably are very sensitive, and take little petty rejections as calamitous blemishes on your self-worth.

    In my life, I thought I was ugly/shy for the most part and found that it's the opposite. As I entered college, I found my love- helping others, and I built myself around it. Now I'm open to people and girls hit on me all the time. Furthermore, I found out I'm a 8-9 out of 10 on the looks scale. So don't beat yourself up. I've done far worse things in my life and have been far worse places yet came through without a chip on my shoulder.

    Keep your chin up kid.

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    • I just want love, that would honestly make me the happiest guy ever.

    • Love is something that is inside us. Drop the barriers you have built against it by loving yourself. I suggest reading a poem by Rumi. He's very right on the topic of love. You aren't alone, I've seen lots of girls and even guys do this to themselves. You just need a little "push". That push will come from inside. Not from someone else.

      You reek of desperation and that turns women off because THEY are supposed to be the vulnerable ones, not YOU.

  • As long as you "need" someone to love you, you won't find it. It's true when people say that you have to love yourself before anyone else can.

    I'd work on that mate.

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  • you have to be confident in yourself before you can show confidence to a girl. If you look down on yourself girls will notice your low self of steam just through your actions and how you talk. Being rejected isn't a whole lot of fun, but it's not the end of the world. You have to go out on a limb and at least attempt a conversation with her. Even if you crash and burn in a terribly befuddled attempt to strike up a conversation at least you tried. Even though you may not want to be remembered as the guy who flopped in front of her at least she'll remember you and see that you gave her a try (a crash is way more memorable than a mediocre pick up) Being a male it's hard to understand, but women don't put nearly as high of marks on physical attraction as us men. I'm not saying they don't care what you look like, but your personality and humor should be the essence of your approach. In the end my only advice is approach her no matter what and confidently present yourself through conversation. Even if you have no idea what to say as soon as you approach her you'll at least be able to come up with something. More advice, practice. Strike up conversation with random people. It doesn't matter who. By practicing you will naturally build up the self of steam required to get the women of your dreams.

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  • Drop the "I need someone to love me because I'm sad," line. It makes you look super-desperate. No offense, but girls aren't attracted to that. Maybe the crazy, controlling ones, yeah, but do you really want that? Girls want a guy, whether they'll admit it or not, that has huge confidence and a little bit of an ego problem (just a little... not too much). I personally don't have much of the second part, but I'm working on it. ;-)

    I've been down the road you're traveling, trying to attract a girl even though you're an introvert. Work on your social skills before making a move, it will hurt a lot less if she rejects you. I used to be super-introverted (Bipolar) until I just learned to get up, say something, and accept the domino-effect that follows it instead of being afraid of it. Crap will happen if you open your mouth, but good things will also happen, despite the crap that you will go through.

    Good luck!

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  • If, ultimately, you just need someone to love you, why does she have to be beautiful?

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    • Well not necessarily beautiful for her looks.

    • Generally, two things you need to do:

      (1) provide her love. People are more likely to love when first loved.

      (2) be someone of greater perceived social value. People generally want to "date up." If you project to her openly and directly that you "need" her (which in reality you do), she will perceive your value to be lower than hers.

  • Have a few drinks, it helps.

    I'm atrocious and sparking up a conversation with a girl, but I'm bad at conversation in general. Hate small talk. Every now and again you'll meet a girl you just click with, just keep trying man. One day you'll find someone who isn't an effort to talk to (for me, that's quite rare!).

    You need to say hi to her first to recognize that sort of person :P

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  • your problem is not your looks, looks mean nothing. What does count is physical appearance! Learn to dress well. Pick up some fashion mags and cut out pictures of outfits that you think would look good on you and work on getting them. Be well groomed...understand that nobody is better than you and you are no better than anyone else...it is all presumed status and value...when I read your question it is telling me everything I need to know about how you see your self...and that is your problem...i can't tell you to "be confident" that is retarded, you don't know what that is. Don't be yourself because yourself is "needy". You need to ge yor life straight buy building your finances(money to women means nothing, this is for your belief in yourself), go to the gym and work out(this will ge you goal oriented and feeling better about yourself because you are progressing in developing yourself into a better person) and read "how to have confidence and power in dealing with people"...

    "i need someone to love me because I am sad"

    and then when she leaves you what will happen?

    back to your sadness?

    hell no develop yourself, become a man of value and women will sense that in you.

    I believe in you champ...most people don't even look to find the answer...but you have and that's the first step...enjoy the journey! Peace

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  • CONFIDENCE. if you want someone to like you only cause you're sad, it'll never happen. no girl wants a mopey boyfriend. just show her how great a guy you are... but don't hint that you want her too much. and let her think she has some competition. you always want what you can't have...

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    • I have no confidence I am depressed and I need love to make me happy.

  • Stick yourself out there and present your personality instead. Not everyone is after looks alone. Some people will like you just based on your personality, not how you look. You've got to take a step forwards, not backwards, shy or not. I had a hell of a time asking out a girl a few months ago because I was shy. But I did it. You have to be willing to get hurt if you want to suceed.

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  • Get some liquid courage in ya. Alcohol baby! It will loosen you up a bit and give you that extra confidence you need. My best friend in high school was extremely shy until he started drinking and now he's a little player. That's all I got. Start dressing nice, enhance your positive qualities such as doing your hair, use proactive and get rid of acne. ALl this gives confidence and girls love that.

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  • just say that you know chuck Norris and girls will be lining up to f*** you

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