I've never considered myself to be beautiful--how do I stop these thoughts?

Hi everyone,

I'm 26 years old and I'm heading to medical school this summer. For as long as I can remember, I never really considered myself to be a beautiful person. In high school, I struggled with acne. While most of the scarring has faded, it seems like it doesn't matter what I do (exercise [I'm a healthy weight], grow out my hair, etc) I still feel like an ugly duckling. This is kind of compounded by the fact that I've never had a guy like me before as far as I know. What advice do you have for me as I transition into this new stage of my life? I thought these thoughts would stop as I moved out of my teen years, but they are even stronger now.

Updates:
I wanted to add, it's so bad, sometimes I just want to delete all my online pictures! (e.g. Facebook).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That's a form of low self-esteem. Do you feel confident? Do you like your body at all? If yes, list off everything good about who you are. I'm not beautiful either, I have many scars, and a lot of them on my face that I can not hide with makeup. But I accept that. I like my body for what it is and the fact that it functions like it should is something to be happy about.

    Would you at least consider yourself beautiful on the inside? Because this is what counts and it shines through. As for guys, I like compliments but they are worth more to me from family and friends. No guy has ever called me beautiful but I have been called smart, kind, pretty and fun. Beauty is not all that matters. I'll take smart over hot any day.

    Can you ask your best friends to help you? I'm sure if they were asked, they would say you are beautiful in your own way. You'll never be attractive to everyone but to someone out there, you are the most beautiful person they've ever seen.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Everytime you get those thoughts, immediately focus on something else, a sunset, a beautiful meadow, rolling hills, good times you had in the past, your medical school studies. If you have too much time that you can dwell on such thoughts, then keep yourself busy. Already sounds like you're doing right by working out. Bury yourself in your studies when they begin.

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  • I know girls have good reason to believe that appearance is the most important thing there is when it comes to attracting men, and it certainly is a factor. But you obviously have a lot of other good things going for you. So draw on those things for confidence and you will attract men, just not the shallow type of men, and really is that such a bad thing after all?

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  • Well, I'm prejudiced since I am a gym instructor, but I do not know one woman in my gym that works out hard, watches what she eats, and commits to a healthy lifestyle that isn't super-sexy. Great bodies are forged, not born. And a sexy body is hard for most guys to resist. And it works for women of all ages. You being 26 is a great time to commit to group fitness and see just how sexy and confident you can become. You're still years away from your prime, I hope you become strong inside and out, to where you make some men's day just by watching you walk down the street!

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  • I think you're focusing entirely too much on an aspect that is only a small part of the bigger picture when someone sees you.

    Many of us can point out the tiniest flaws that we have, but only because we spend much time looking ourselves over!

    I think you should continue to do what you're doing, you're in a great position and doing so well!

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What Girls Said 1

  • You probably notice all the good things about other people but never the good things about yourself. I think this is normal though. It's only when you have very close friends who tell you about your positive traits when you realize what others really think of you.

    People are understanding of acne, because almost everyone has been through a spotty teenager faze and are aware that lots of people have acne- we all know it's not permanent.

    You just don't see the good in you, but you notice the good things about other people. If you could see yourself from someone else's eyes, you would realize that you have things that others wish they had.

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