Any other black women fed up with black men? I'm giving up on them, how about you?

I'm tired of black men outright and subliminally telling me that as a black woman, who looks like them and their mother, I am not physically adequate enough. I'm fed up with black men using the over-used word 'preference' to cover up their SKIN COLOR BIAS.

"Everybody has their preference" is the most over-used sentence of this generation. There is a huge difference between having a mild preference and having a STRICT SKIN COLOR OR ETHNIC BIAS. People, please be HONEST and stop using the word 'preference' to mask your true motives. It seems like most of the time when a guy is degrading and belittling a black woman like a racist white man from the 1900's; HE IS AFRICAN AmericaN OR OF AFRICAN DESCENT.

I find it amazing how this very white world has taught many different ethnic groups to praise and worship whiteness while they hate themselves on some level, even if just a mild one.

For example, white washed Asian men who specifically seek out white girls and say they're more attracted to them because they don't have chinky eyes or because they have blond hair and basically; don't look like them. This self hating mentality penetrates more within the African American community or even just communities with men who are of African descent. I'm sick of it and I'm dating out. I hate to say it, but I will probably marry and have children with a non-black guy.

Black women, your perspective?

Whats your opinion on this?

Updates:
GAG, you placed this in the wrong category AGAIN. Why do you give us an option of categories when you so often put the post where you think it belongs?
I'd be worried about having a little mixed girl and her being objectified by black guys for being 'exotic'. Or having guys who are truly ignorant and self hating at the core, yet remain on good behavior to impress her...or her even being noticed and desired moreso for her complexion and hair texture than her as an individul : / ugh!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry to hear that. Honestly I think most black women are beautiful and black men who don't appreciate that are STUPID. I actually get jealous because their skin usually looks worlds better than white skin (wrinkles come earlier on and more intense for white girls like me).

    Anyway, date interacially if you need to. Whatever makes you happy. Lots of white/Asian/Indian men can be duds too (in my experience), so just be careful.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I've been under the impression that the hate goes the other way around. More often than not, I receive more flak from black women than I ever give back. Black women target my mixed heritage, my short stature or my educated status which isn't "black enough" to them. None of these reasons are logical at all yet it's why I haven't had a sista girl in about twenty years. No fun. It ruins the fact that, "once you go BLACK, you never go back!"

    White people in general have a superiority complex that goes back to the middle ages and has remained the same more or less. Centuries of advancement, expansion, conquest, greed and religious fanaticism has led to them overrunning more than half the known world. Only human for then to feel like they are the best and everyone else is secondary humans. This goes on to this day, can't tell you how many Chinese students have been taught to look up to white girls in my college alone. Take a few history lessons in college and you get the idea, they don't teach you details in high school.

    Personally, it is American women who piss me off more than everyone else combined. Yet this will not prevent me from dating/screwing/marrying a good USA woman...black or otherwise, if I can find one interested in me. I am not so shallow.

    You are young and hoping you are just having a bad day

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  • Why do you feel that you hold a loyalty to something you originally had no control over in the first place? I don't get why some people feel like they feel they should stick to their race just because they are the same... date who you like and who appreciates you, the race shouldn't matter

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    • I wouldn't say 'loyalty'. Black guys just always sorta felt like home to me because as a black American, growing up here, I was always around them and non-black people were constantly being racist. I had family teaching me that non-black people think racist thoughts about blacks.

    • I've always been around mainly just white people, doesn't mean I feel that's all I should be dating. Don't judge the flock by a few bad sheep, we are all different. My situation for example, my mothers husband is racist (although he ain't obsessed) but I highly dislike him and I'm highly attracted to black girls

  • If ANY man degrades or disrespects you then he is not worthy of you anyway.

    Everyone has preferences which is natural and attracts you to certain colors, races and looks. But someone shouldn't ever condemn someone who just doesn't suit their ideal.

    If black guys are your preference, then I am sure that one will come along and treat you like you should be treated.

    And personally speaking, I think black women are often breathtakingly hot. Just sayin! ;)

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  • why don't you just make yourself better there's no excuse for taking there word for it that's your fault. I'm a black man who loves white women not gonna lie. they seem to be more confident to me. but you tell me if I'm wrong?

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  • I'm just sick of your complaining about this.

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    • this is the first question I've asked about this.

      If you're "sick of my complaining", then make us both happy and don't come around this post :) No one forced you to come here and read this. I didn't invite you here or ask you personally about this. So if you are "sick of 'complaining", its YOUR fault. You're the one choosing to read this. If you're really sick of it, then glance and keep it moving instead of wasting both of our time.

  • Im tired of ugly rude and ignorant black women always complaining. Black women are terrible workers, mothers and all round humanbeings. Loud, rude and ugly how can any man of any race be attracted to... you... Gross

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  • Do what's best for you, I ain't mad at ya.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Well I'm mixed my mom is white and my dad is black. I wouldn't date a black guy because of what I've seen with black men in my life. I don't want to be treated the way my mom was treated basically. I honestly cannot think of one black man who was faithful from Bill Cosby to MLK. I think everyone has their hangups and I do see that the European standard of beauty still holds true. If it makes you feel better they don't treat white girls any better than the rest of us lol. It seems like black women are so loyal and sand by their men through thick and thin and the second another women of ANY color looks twice at them they are running off. Personally, I don't want to be cheated on, used for my money, beaten, have a spouse in jail, or dead so I'm going with non-black too.

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    • Unfaithfulness occurs among men of every ethnic group. Most of the Lifetime movies with women being abused are white couples. Most of the cheating men on Jerry Springer are white.

      The intent of this post is not to bash black men and stereotype them all with illogical, non-factual accusations like "They're cheaters, they end up in jail, they beat their women." ect jeez, what is up with these mixed people on GAG stereotyping blacks so harshly? It looks really bad.

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    • White men don't cheat, scam women out of their money, get incarcerated, or beat or kill their women? There's good and bad in every race. Brad Pitt, Kevin Costner, JKF cheated. Guenther Floerchinger killed his wife, Jonthan Nyce beat his wife to death. Scott Peterson killed his pregnant wife because he wanted to continue having affairs. Ultimately it comes down to the character of the man, not his skin color . Better educate yourself because your blatant ignorance might get you killed.

    • My "ignorance" is my personal experience and personal preference. I have yet to meet ANY madn of color that is good to women, period. Yes there are bad guys of every race, but in any other race I can see the good as well. I'm clearly not a racist. By using your logic anyone who has a personal preference in dating blondes, blacks, blue eyed or borwn eyed people is a racist? Nice threat at the end, black men aren't violent and if you keep saying so your gonna get killed. LMAO

  • Honey I'm not gay but ..will you marry me? this question is just so awesome, it has so many great parts, I wish you weren't anonymous so I could friend you or at least message you, I have been dying to talk about this with someone but not all my friends would...appreciate this conversation

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  • I'm not going to put all black men on the same category, but it does aggravate me when some black makes put women of other races on a pedestal, as if we aren't good enough or if we are dirt basically. Sometimes I feel like we a black women can't win. We can have multiple degrees, our own car, our own place, no kids, and men will still try to find a way to put us down. They tell us to date outside our race and some men still won't want to be with us, it's like what gives.

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    • I completely understand where you're coming from. In a room full of black men, I'll usually get viewed as "cute" . In a room full of white guys, Arab guys, Indian guys, Hispanics, and European men, they'll tell me I'm beauiful, sexy, and compliment my hair. *those are the guys who usually have the 'wow' reaction to me* As if many black men have conditioned themselves to believe that an African American's features can't be 'wow' unless she's got some white or non-black in her.

    • black girls are hot hot hot! lol

  • I lovee black men but I generally do not date them because of exactly the reasons you stated. Too many black men are color struck, and they want to use the typical black stereotypes about black people against black women not realizing when those stereotypes were created they included the black men too.

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  • I never cared for black men. I don't see what all the hype is about.

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    • isn't this the same girl who has gone around on multipe GAG posts talking about how you hate the black in you?

    • Evidently. HAHA

  • I agree I don't care for them that much either.

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  • Black women: STOP CHASING BLACK MEN. It's plain as day that a lot of these niggas don't give a f*** about you so why are you still chasing them? Truth be told there are men of other races who would happily date/marry an attractive kind sista but many of us are not open to them. I used to be like that. Why? Because I was raised with the "if he can't use my comb, you better not bring him home" mentality, and the "all non black people hate us and are against us". Yes that is honestly what I was taught from childhood and I grew up thinking if I date anybody he better be a black guy from an African American household, or else he'll only use me, dump me and won't see me as marriage material. I think a lot of black women are taught that and it's hindering us. Funny how our brothas are not being taught the same thing right? We're told to stay in our race because guys of other races will treat us bad and look down on us, but what are a lot of guys IN our race doing?

    So basically what I'm saying is, you can't change how black men feel but you sure can change how you react to it. They aren't your only option. You don't have to stick to any guy who is putting you down and telling you you aren't good enough.

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  • i'm a black woman and I completely understand you but I'm not done with black men, yet. I love black men and I can never not. I figure, if a Black woman like me exists and there are 7 billion people on this earth, that means that there is a black man out there who is exactly what I'm looking for.

    The self-hate is real this days but I 'm very lucky to not be surrounded by people like that. I say branch out and find other people. Surround yourself, if you can, with what you yearn for. If you can't, wait until you can.

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    • Clap clap

    • I'm not sitting here waiting around on a black man when most of them hate themselves and misdirect that hate onto black women for looking like them. I wish you the best of luck :) but I cannot sit here and wait for a damn guy to take notice of me. Why is it that black men often say I'm just "cute"? Then guys from other ethnic groups tell me I'm gorgeous? It's ridiculous. I can't take it anymore. No more waiting around for a decent black man who doesn't belittle black females.

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