I don't know if anyone has experienced this, but I recently got myself into a relationship where despite the girl I met has a great personality and we share a lot of common interests, I find I'm just not attracted to her that much physically and it's making me confused as whether to continue the relationship or not, because physical attraction is something I would like to have in my 'ideal' relationship. If you were in my position what would you do? Would you pursue a relationship where the person you are with is a great conversationalist but not attractive, or someone who doesn't quite know what to talk about but who you are attracted to?
Sometimes I wondered if it was my expectations being too much. It isn't that my date isn't completely unattractive, just that maybe I had a particular thing in mind about the kind of person that I wanted to meet. She was shall I say, a complete surprise. It was her personality I found that really blew me away...that's why I thought of pursuing her.
With regards to the relationship we've only met not long ago, so we still have some way to really get to know each other properly. We've only just begun as they say. Perhaps when we start to get a little more intimate things will get better between us…
Most Helpful Guy
Attraction isn't a choice. It's a feeling or emotion that requires no logic.
So don't waste too much more time trying to logic yourself into feeling more attraction for a girl.
What you CAN do is decide what your values are and what you NEED from your second most significant relationship (the first is the relationship you have with yourself.)
You need to decide what you value most from this relationship... perhaps it's warmth and love and trust and intimacy. Perhaps it's just lust and passion and sexual chemistry. It all depends on what you want or need.
And it all requires you to be honest with yourself.
I've found that more mature I've gotten over the years the less importance I have placed the superficial needs I used to have (like the social approval of my girlfriend's appearance) and the more importance I've placed on my woman's shared values, love, trust and respect.
I'm at a stage where I prefer a woman who's self assured, independent, reliable, loving, caring and giving.
All that matters in your case is whether she's what you're looking for long term, because it's unfair for her if you're just leading her on.
It's OKAY to leave this relationship if it's not what you want. That's what dating is for! To discover how compatible you are with each other. It's expected that relationships will grow or fail.
And it's expected that you be HONEST as soon as possible. That way you don't feel any guilt when things end.
It's a mistake to stay in a relationship just because you're fearful of hurting her feelings. Lying to her is what hurts her the most. Just do your best to explain that you're not feeling the chemistry you feel that you need, and that it's unfair to you and her to stay together in hopes that things will some day change.
Life is too short to stay unhappy.
Best of luck dude!
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