Why don't guys say hello?

this might sound hypocritical but when a guy looks at me and I know he's interested kinda I can't muster up the ability to smile.Idk what it is I have a nice one but it just doesn't work out.why men have to be complicated with signals and not just walk up and say hello.Sometimes I can't tell if your looking at me or past me or just being polite and why you gotta keep looking if your not gonna say anything. or maybe I'm just too old fashioned.and confused


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The reasons are plentiful. However, there is one theory that I have. If you are an attractive young lady, he may have a fear of rejection. He may think that, being attractive, that you already have a boyfriend. To many guys, it seems that every decent looking girl already has a boyfriend. If you are interested in him, there is nothing wrong with you saying hi and letting him know that you are available. Communication and an honest approach is always a good way to go.

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What Guys Said 10

  • Women are the ones who are complicated with signals usually and you just proved why. Nobody is going to come up and just try to converse with you out of the blue unless you've done SOMETHING ahead of time to show them some such interaction would be welcomed. Not even being willing to give them a smile when you know a guy is checking you out? That's a big "LEAVE ME THE F*** ALONE" neon sign above your head.

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    • interesting my mother is a serial dater and she reads leave me the f*** alone all the time?!?!?!

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    • yeah itll mostly go like she minding her buisness and then the dude will look and she gives this weird look (like leave me the f*** alone) and then he'll say sumthin stupid like a joke and then she lauphs and start talikn and then I walk away because I get creeped out

    • Now that is unusual. Typically no man would do anything of the sort.

  • If you learn to smile, more men will say hi. Most men, including confident ones, generally don't approach women that look unfriendly. I won't hit on a girl who looks like she's constipated, and I have no shortage of confidence. You have to signal to a guy that you want to be approached. A smile and open body language is key. Read my guide on shy girls under my profile. Sounds like you need to adjust your approach to this matter.

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    • ok thanks but I never thought I had a serious shy issue still guys apprach me I'm just curious about a specific one

      a cute dude at target but he just kept looking and I wasn't sure what to do

      it was like say somethimg alredy

    • There's nothing wrong with telling a guy you find him handsome. Let him take it from there if he's interested.

  • Same reason why girls/women don't. I can walk into 1,000 different stores in the mall and not one female employee will say hi to me. But when a good looking guys walks in its Hi can I help you. Double standard. Seems like the only time I do get an hello is when they want me to spend money on things I don't need or want.

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  • hello.

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  • Confidence is not at an all time high anytime anymore. The cultural bars have swayed and with such attention on woman a guy can feel a fear of rejection. Guys see no shot with good looking girls, don't trust a pretty face, or seem to think they're players. We're not doing much to face fears or rationality. Only suppression and denial. Maybe, a sign of your own could give way. If you don't smile at least, what's the point of chasing a dead mouse?

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  • Why don't you say hello?

    "...maybe I'm just too old fashioned." - Only when it comes to dating & relationships, I wager.

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  • I say hi anytime I get a smile, seems any guy would.

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  • the same reason girls don't

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    • well my parents are old born in the 50's didn't hav me till they bwere in there 40's .so they have old values and one is if a man wants something from you wether its sex,relationship,or a hello they make it happen.obviously that's not the case so I kinda wander why some guys don't do that anymore.and you can't say same reason why girls don't.we don't think the same at all!

  • I have that problem I can never tell if girls are looking at me or past me. I would say hi but if a girl is with someone then I would seem weird, plus I get nervous thinking about it.

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  • why don't women go up to guys?

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What Girls Said 2

  • In this case, I have to agree with the guys. As a girl I did a little experiment with my friends. This may seem irrelevant to you question but it may help you in the future.

    Two of my close buddies and I tested this out for three weeks on the guys around campus and about a two mile radius from campus. First, we were all together. One of us was the happy go lucky chick, one the middle chick (sometimes happy sometimes grumpy), and the last was the chick who was always neutral. We found that if we were happy or at least gave a friendly smile to a guy he was more likely to respond or remember us. Whereas if we were neutral or kind of grumpy a guy rarely looked in our direction. Occasionally, some guy who either 1) knew us or 2) was just in a good mood himself, would say something like "cheer up" or "smile, it won't kill you" but most of the guys didn't.

    Then at random, we tried it alone and our result were again similar to those above. I'm usually the quiet person who prefers to be in the back and not noticed so I was perfect to be the neutral person. I found that when I was alone not one guy attempted to approach me. A few seemed interested but none of them seemed confident enough to actually come and break the ice.

    I even asked some my closest guy friends on campus did I seem approachable to them, like if they didn't know me. Most of them said that I always seemed like I was focused and didn't want to be bothered and said that it would confuse them if I thought that me looking focus would actually warrant them coming over to talk to me. However, they did say that girls are confusing and guys would much rather us be outright with our intentions. Guys don't like to have to try to decipher codes and signals. Either let them know, hey I'm interested in you as a...whatever you are or I'm not interested in you in that way, etc. Being outright is the best way and guys are just as much afraid of being declined as we girls are.

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  • because maybe they don't have to?

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