I've been fighting it and have been chasing that ideal image how I'm supposed to look. Now, I'm just tired and I've accepted that this is the best that I could look -- and it's never going to be the ideal standard of beauty.
For a while, when I was in college I became somewhat attractive - my acne kind of cleared up, I lost weight.and I really put a lot of effort into becoming better to the point where it consumed my life. I developed an eating disorder and have become bankrupt to maintain my face. I've never really dated anyone because I'm too scared that they will find out about this.
So, deep down, whenever I got compliments about my looks, I never truly believed it because I knew how I TRULY looked without makeup and without the nice clothes. And I knew what I was doing to myself.
So now, I've sort of accepted what I've done to my self and what I look like (my skin will never be as beautiful and my body will never look as good as other girls) and I'm trying to pick up the pieces.
My looks has consumed me for most of my adult life so I just want to ask: Where do I go from here? What do I do next?
Please be kind with your responses. Thanks!
I know this may sound corny but some of you guys really restored my faith in humanity. So, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!
Most Helpful Guy
I guarantee you the past 12 years of my life were more difficult than yours and I struggled with similar self esteem issues because I was raised with an abusive older sibling who called me ugly everyday. I could've accepted it and believe what was said to me, I could've ignored all the compliments I get from women, I could've given up, but I didn't so don't tell us you're accepting a place/perspective on life you're not happy with! There are healthy ways to have a sexy body and sexy skin without going towards a disorder. Life can be so much better but you have to believe that instead of accepting a whole bunch of negative stuff. For now, forget guys, forget people and go to work on yourself, inside and outside. Go to therapy or seek counseling to deal with your inner demons. The thoughts you have about yourself are destructive and you've got to change them if you're going to move forward in life. Therapy is great and everybody needs it at some point in their lives. If you're in college, your university might have free counseling. A nice body is easily attainable if you have a passion for working out. I'm in the gym 6 days a week and am in better shape than the grand majority of men and women I run into but I'm addicted to working out and being healthy. A commitment to working out is what will change your body. Healthy skin is related to your diet. If you're eating crap, that's what your skin will look like. Drink lots of water, stay away from sugar and greasy food, exfoliate your skin every night with a loofah and put real aloe gel on your face every night before bed (you'll have to invest in an Aloe Vera plant, uber cheap). Do that and your skin will be incredibly better. That's all I got for now, sorry if I sounded harsh, sometimes people need to be snapped out of their state otherwise they won't believe what people tell them.3
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