What's your romantic relationship attachment style?

Basically the following link describes in short Bowler's theory of attachment - which to be honest I find to be quite relevant / realistic. Obviously there are varying extremes within each style, but take a look

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults#section_2

What attachment style are you? Are there any events in your life that you think may have influenced that?

Be realistic when you make the judgement !

For me, I'm definitely anxious/preoccupied. I think previously I might have been less so / oretty close to secure but its been amplified lately by an unexpected breakup ('Didn'T feel the same anymore' - I was completely unsuspecting) followed by getting back together with the same person. (Following an explanation of what he had come to realize his feelings actually were - general dissatisfaction with life and depression / withdrawl)

Regardless of the explanation my anxious attachment symptoms seem to be somewhat amplified and I'm more paranoid about our relationship and interactions than I have been previously. I also have some irrational emotions in response to interactions.

Its funny because he has always been a somewhat avoidant person and so it makes it more difficult to overcome when I'm not entirely feeling secure.

Thoughts? Opinions?

Updates:
I had to laugh at the answers that suggested a mix of anxious and x why z... the point of the anxious attachment style is its inconsistency which would just make you anxious !


Thanks for the answers guys :)

0|0
6|6

Most Helpful Guy

  • Let's just face the truth:

    It's avoidant... and to the fkn' extreme!

    2|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • anxious/preoccupied

    0|0
    0|0
  • none of those fit very well but if I took equal parts from each category according to how they fit me I could probably make a 5th group that would fit.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Secure attachment.

    0|0
    0|0
  • On a good day, secure, on a bad, anxious/preoccupied.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I think I'm the same - situational.

      Unfortunately the situation has the better of me at the moment!

      Do you know where your tendency to sometimes be anxious comes from?

    • Not really. Innate personality I think. I had very warm relationships with family growing up. But I was always a relatively sensitive kid, and while I worry less then most of my family, sadly that's not saying much.

  • Yeah I've read about this before, I think Dismissive-avoidant looks like me. It's either that or Secure.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Oh, forgot to say what possible life circumstances led me to be this way. I'm an only child, and growing up I had to pretty much take care of myself. I'd spend at least 4 hours alone everyday since grade school, and I guess I just learned to be more self-sufficient. Plus, I had an overbearing nosy mother and an alcoholic father. The mother who was always smothering me and never giving me space, and the father who always criticized and came home throwing fists.

    • Thanks for sharing :)

What Girls Said 6

  • Mostly secure attachment, but I think it's normal to feel an anxious/preoccupied attachment every so often.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Very interesting read... I think "Fearful–avoidant attachment" suits me the best out of them all.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm either secure attachment or dismissive -avoidance. I am fully capable of being on my own and enjoy my independence. However, I also enjoy being with someone dependent on me and knowing that there's someone there who I can depend on in the event that I would need support with something.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm a really good mix between fearful/avoidant, anxious/preoccupied, and secure.

    fearful/avoidant- I used to not be like this, but because I've been hurt a lot by guys, especially this year, I've developed a slight fear of being open with guys. Not to the point where I'm getting cold about it, just slightly more reserved when I share things with guys about me.

    anxious/preoccupied-I'm not clingy, needy, or impulsive, but because of something that happened in my past, I'm afraid that it will repulse any potential guys. Thus also goes to the fearful part.

    secure-The only part with this is that I'm afraid to be alone, because all I want is a family(as silly as that sounds). I am pretty independent, but I can also depend on others too, if that makes sense, but I'm not gonna go out and force myself into a relationship just because I'm afraid to be alone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • fearful

    0|0
    0|0
  • I am anxious. I think my first relationship of him cheating on me for a year didn't help lol.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...