Girls: I am scared of you. What to do? :(

I am seriously scared of girls. When girls talk to me I get so nervous I just try to get the hell out of there end conversations as fast as I can LOL. I'm a pretty good looking guy, but didn't come into my looks until much later in life, so my confidence isn't quite there.

What really scares me is when they make jokes with me, they assume I'm able to keep up with them and add on to the vibe. My sense of humor just isn't good enough to keep up, and so many conversations fall flat because of it. :(

I really don't know what to do. I'm really suffering from avoidance now. I feel like I'll never be able to get a girlfriend, and I've even contemplated suicide. :( Although, I'd never actually follow through with such a thing. Is there anything I can do? I really want to just have the ability to keep up with them in conversation and be comfortable. :(

Updates:
Grrr! It happened again today! >: ( This really cute girl in my class I never spoke to said a joke to me and I just wanted to run away. :( I recently had surgery, so now I've started walking with a cane instead of crutches, and she goes: "Ohh! He's a pimp! He's got a pimp cane!" and some other stuff, then later walked by my seat and said "What up pimp!" I really tried to just end all the jokes and communication as fast as I could. :(


This is hurting my love life and I don't know what to do :(

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Step 1: Don't look at all girls as a potential date, look at them as equals or as friends. This can help take a lot of the edge off.

    Step 2: Don't over analyze everything you say and do. I know this is hard to deal with, but not everyone will always like you. That's fine.

    Step 3: Be yourself! Don't be what you think they want, be you. Because the girl that likes you for you is an awesome feeling!

    Step 4: Just try. If you fail, just keep trying. There are a lot of people on the planet and not everyone knows everything that happens with everyone else.

    Good Luck!

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    • It is so hard to NOT look at girls as potential dates, they are so pretty! :( But I'm trying. Thanks for the advice.

What Girls Said 2

  • sounds like social anxiety. I have it and while mine was a strong case it also made me especially afraid of talking to guys. try talking to someone about it, I mean a professional cause I needed actual meds, but only a professional can tell you if somethings really wrong.

    note: just a guess by me could be completely wrong

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    • How did the meds work for you? I think you made good suggestions

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    • I see, my reasoning may not be accurate then. I guess I'm just kinda scared to keep bumping up the dosage you know? :\

    • yeah I know, and its not good for your liver but its a chemical imbalance in the brain so what can you do

  • Something that could definitely help is to get your confindence up! I found that when I was more confident in myself I was way more social and comfortable with the people around me. It's easier said than done but will probably help!

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    • I would love to do that, and a lot of people suggest getting confidence up, but not HOW to do it. :(

    • You have to work on liking yourself, realize that you are an awesome person no matter what anyone else says, and you need to not care what other people think and just be the person you want to be and be happy about it.

    • Thank you, what you said really resonates with me. I'm looking into "self-acceptance", and I had a hunch that self-acceptance is the real culprit and a lack of confidence is the wrong diagnosis. Definitely re-affirms my thoughts, thanks again

What Guys Said 2

  • Just be who you are and avoid the thought of rejection. It's the best possible answer for these kinds of situations. If you think about it too much, it'll only get worse. Loosen up, have some confidence, you said you look good. The humor isn't all that important in conversation, hell, it's only one part of many different conversations that can be initiated. Go out, hang out out in the club, socialize with groups of people and you'll meet new chicks. It's natural. Good luck.

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    • Thanks for the advice man. I'm trying to ease up and not think too hard about these things, it's tough but I'm working on it. I think getting out and socializing a bit more is a good idea

    • Yeah, you know. Not many things have an easy start. Don't worry, it'll become easier with time.

  • Start by making small talk with every girl you have a chance to. Groceries, bank, elevator, etc... Just Hey hows it going, f***ing cold outside isn't it? sh*t like that but with less swearing so they don't think you're rude : P

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    • Yeah, I think I should start doing that too. Thanks man

    • no worries m8 it should help a lot I had huge confidence issues in high school :P now I'd probably walk up to any girl in any scenario. I still get rejected a lot of the times obviously... that's gonna be the hardest part to get used to after you start feeling normal just having a conversation with them, but after your first score you'll realize life doesn't revolve around getting rejected. Best of luck

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