Definitions of sexism?

not to be a condescending ass crack, but why is it that women complain about sexism but think its okay to do it to men? for instance, many women complain about them not making as much money as men, but expect their date to always pay for meals and other stuff. or complain about people thinking they are weak and not independent but expect people to open doors and pull out chairs. or women say they are for the feminist movement but then tell their dates that they're "old fashioned"

obviously not all women do this but I see it a lot. what do people have to say about this now that I've said that?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't earn a living by having a door opened. I don't know any women who give a sh*t about that stuff. I know a lot of men who use this hypothetical preference as an excuse to call women sexist. and or an excuse to promote sexism.

    opening doors is a personal preference. if you don't want t do it you dint have to. earning less money is political situation, and it isn't solved personal just by referring or not preferring it to be the case.

    one situation is personal and volitional. the other is political and public.

    earning less on the dollar is not a battle of the sexes. its a function of gender roles which are created and established and exploited by the society you live in.

    if you look seriously at the arguments men should open doors women should not be aggressive. men should make more money women should be more nurturing. there's no actual reason for any f it . its completely arbitrary preferences that are not personal and much harder to change than deciding you don't want to open doors or ;pay for a date.

    if you don't want to open doors dont. there's nothing to that. someone earning substandard wage because of their sex can not simply decide to they will no longer do that.

    anyways. I personally think you should let her get the check and let her open your doors. I'm guessing youd not actually _like_ that. you just like bitching about it.

    i would also assume that there's a possibility for the women who don't mind the guy paying. maybe they reason it out that since they are making less, its a small step towards evening things out. though again, I don't know anyone who expects or is even comfortable with someone paying for them.i only see people talk bot it on gag. and teen magazines.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Well- there is some sexism toward men for sure, I'll agree with you on that. Many women don't recognize the double standard- we don't want to be forced into a stereotypical role or seen as butch if we choose a male-dominated occupation. But we tend not to realize it's just as bad when we expect men to fulfil stereotypical male roles in order for them to appear masculine.

    But- what you said about dates and holding doors open for people, I think A LOT of guys have misconceptions about it.

    I have never in my adult life ever gone anywhere expecting someone else to foot the bill. Since I started working at 16, I've always paid my way when going out and even before that the only people I expected to pay for me were my parents, which is just realistic when you're a kid.

    On dates- I always offer to split the bill the first couple times, I NEVER expect him to pay. In fact, if we go out for dinner and a movie, I would rather split things, like he gets dinner and I get the movie and popcorn. It makes me uncomfortable to have someone paying for everything- it leaves me feeling like there's an unequal balance and I have to make it up somehow. Once I'm dating a guy for awhile, I like to just take turns, as I do with friends.

    Now- I have a lot of male friends and when I go out with them, I don't expect them to hold a door open to let me go through first. I think it's common courtesy to hold a door for the person behind you so it doesn't slam in their face, but that's manners for ALL genders, not just women. I have a friend who almost always holds the door open for women- I don't expect it, but I respect him being gentlemanly and always say thank you. I also never expect male friends to pay for me- again, we take turns buying rounds or coffee etc., but I figure we share the cost so it's not sexist.

    As for being old fashioned- to me that means I expect a guy to be a gentleman and respect the fact that it's our first date, we're not going to do a whole lot more than talk. I might be a 21st century, post sexual revolution woman, but it doesn't mean you're getting laid right away- I usually take my time with sex and relationships. At least that's what I mean when I say I'm old fashioned.

    I think men are misinformed about what a lot of women expect in the dating world. Men THINK they have to pay for everything, and women don't want to emasculate them, so if we offer to split it or pay and you insist on paying, we're not going to fight about it- at least not on the first couple dates.

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  • Because it's a double standard

    Both genders face double standards, but that's not a reason to scream sexism...sexism is overused and overplayed like racism and homophobia. People nowadays (in America) don't even fully understand what it means to face inequality but they're the first to scream "racist/homophobe/sexist!"

    I want to be treated as a human and equal in the relationship, but I want him to open/hold the door for me, pay for our dates, ask me on dates etc. It's not necessarily fair, but I think these are qualities of a gentleman I want in my life...doesn't mean other girls feel the same, but that's how I feel.

    But you'd be surprised by the number of guys who say they're hesitant to open the door for a female cause they've been lectured by some nutjob feminist

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    • true. I just get annoyed when a girl gets mad at me for not doing it and her only reason is "BECAUSE IM A GIRL"

      ill do it but only because its a nice thing to do

      u know what I mean?

  • Why is it that women complain about sexism but think its okay to do it to men?

    Likely the same reason men praise guys sleeping about but think it's shame worthy when gals do it. That reason being hypocrisy and double standards.

    What do people have to say about this now that I've said that?

    I say in my experiences many guys and gals complain about sexism but think its okay to do to the other as it seems many people are hypocrites.

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  • judging based on sex

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  • Because you're taking a general statement and applying it to individual people. That never works right.

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  • Show me a man who would willingly let a girl pay his way and you will prove your point. In my experience, men find it emasculating to have the woman pay. As for opening doors and pulling out chairs...stop that. I hate it when guys do that. I can do that myself just fine.

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    • i would let a girl pay for a meal. just not all the time because I would feel bad

  • Oh gosh, there is a battle of the sexes that never ends. I assume that if all gals could change places with guys for a month then we would all have a better understanding of the opposite sex.

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  • I've never ran into a woman like that and hope to never run into a woman like that so I can't answer your question. But good thing you didn't say ALL women are like that. Lots of men are quick to say that...

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  • i don't know.

    I feel like the same guys on this site will complain on both sides of this issue. if a women objects to them holding the door open for them then she's a feminist nazi, but if she appreciates it she's a hypocrite.

    they complain all western women are brazen whores how impossible it s to find a virgin, and women who need to stop acting like men while at the same time bitching how unfair it is that women don't approach them more and do all the work to initiate relationships.

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    • It's kind of the same with money...

      when it's a foreign woman who wants to marry them for citizenship or because they could have money, it's OK. But if an American woman says money is important she's a gold digger

    • u have a point. they do have a lot of mixed expectations

What Guys Said 6

  • Its called a double standard. Women get away with this because Men allow it. Just like Men get away with the stuff we do because women allow it. I am not the guy who is going to sleep around because my girl is insecure enough to stay with me even though she thinks I'm a dog. And she doesn't want to be alone. So I find myself noticing the female side allot as well.

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  • I'm kinda old fashion and have a high respect for women. But I do gotta say you make a good point. And like you said it's not all women who are like that but there are a lot who are, just like not every man is a jerk but a lot are.

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  • That has nothing to do with sexism. That's called hypocrisy. Yes, it's stupid. But, what you have to remember is no matter how much of a hypocrite somebody is, their hypocrisy doesn't necessarily impact on their argument. Women are paid less than men, however that woman acts about the injustice doesn't matter. It's true. THAT woman is full of sh*t, but she happens to be right, also. Don't let your hatred of a person mar your knowledge of a cause.

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    • hey its just somthing I noticed. keep your pants on bro

    • LOLL. It's worth saying, though, most people fall into this trap. It's called a Tu Quoque. I am becoming more sympathetic of feminism, however minuscule and boring and unimportant it is in the 21st century, than anti-feminism, which is much more minuscule and boring and unimportant, and also fraught with burgeoning woman-hatred and virginile bitterness and right-wing politicism. And your answer is one of *many* of the same ilk.

  • double standards. women are really confused about what they want, so they forget sometimes, that they're describing double standards, unfortunately

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  • Not to be a belligerent hemorrhoid but I would probably think that was really unfair... if I actually did any of those things for women.

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  • whatever the hell is suitable for the woman at the time

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