"To me, looks don't matter"

i really don't understand this statement. I mean I do, but I think its a lie. I've read on a lot of the answers when someone asks for an opinion, a few people always say "looks don't matter", but I have to say, evolutionary speaking, they do. I'm not trying to be b*tchy or rude, I just don't understand why someone would say this because there's no way you can ignore people's looks . can anyone clarify?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with you. Looks do make a difference just as everything else.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think that people take this statement too literally. I would expect that what people truly mean when they say that, is that looks aren't what's *most* important to them. When first getting to know someone, a physical appearance that is repulsive to that person will not likely be overcome by any amount of personality, etc. However, the people who feel that personality isn't a pressing issue for them are simply saying that they don't discount people just because they're not extremely attractive, and acknowledging that the person's attractiveness can grow with fondness and personality, and is also subjective (both excellent points by shlei3 and simple-simonette, respectively).

    Of course there may be exceptions to this rule and people who truly would love a person that they didn't find attractive, but I think this is very rare and that the phrase you mention is simply stating that looks are among the least important factors to those people.

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What Girls Said 7

  • i agree with you. but I've liked guys who weren't particularly hot or cute, but felt good around them, they made me laugh. but of course they weren't the first guys I was attracted to on the first day of school. I think that a great personality can somewhat compensate for less than ideal appearance, but it takes a truly wonderful personality and it can only make up for looks up to a certain point. I mean, the Quasimodo in the Hunchback of Notre Dame was a great guy, but he didn't win Esmerelda's heart.

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  • Looks are subjective. For most people there is the instant attraction that can be attributed to outward appearances, but the personality may not match the attractiveness.

    People grow on me. The guy may not be an Adonis, look-wise, but his personality makes him appealing and therefore attractive. So to use the statement, "Looks don't matter," can be true for the people who want something more that prettiness in their relationship. You're not ignoring their looks, it just isn't as important as personality.

    I'm not sure what you mean by "evolutionary". Do you mean natural selection or adapting to your environment?

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  • Well, looks don't matter to me because the more I like a guy the better looking he is in my eyes. I have dated all kinds of guys: good looking guys and found that ultimately the personality means far more than his looks. As I've said before, looks are obsolete because they can change, fade etc.

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  • I think what people are trying to say is not necessarily that 'looks don't matter' (because of course, they do), but are more so trying to say that 'looks are not the number one thing that matters'.

    For example, take Guy A and Guy B.

    Guy A is a really good looking guy, but has the personality of a rock, and when he does talk is stuck up, mean, and not very intelligent.

    Guy B is not the best looking guy, has a bit of an acne problem, and let's say he's not too muscular and pretty shrimpy too. But man, does he have the best sense of humor, and he treats girls like gold, and he's a really smart guy who knows what he's talking about.

    So, the girl who claims "looks doesn't matter" means that she would choose Guy B over Guy A.

    However, back to what I said before about looks actually mattering- they do! If you took Guy A and Guy B, and gave them the exact same great personality, and different looks, of course, the girl would choose the better looking guy.

    I think the main reason why people say 'looks doesn't matter' is because oftentimes it seems like all the opposite sex seems to look at is looks. If they claim that they look deeper into other people than just their physical appearance, perhaps it is because they are hoping somebody will look deeper into themselves as well, and be interested in them not only on a physical level, but an emotional one as well.

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    • Yes I agree with you I would pick guy B ... and at first when we meet someone all we can see is their appearance but after when we talk we can tell if they are jerks or not. At the end it really does not matter if he is good lucking because I rather have a guy that treats me right and makes me laugh instead of being treated like trash by a jerk.

    • That was a better job of saying what I was trying to say. Great answer.

  • I agree, everyone makes judgements based on other people's looks, so yes in a way it does matter to everyone.

    When I say looks don't matter, I mean looks aren't the determining factor in a relationship. When I got with my guy everyone told me he wasn't cute and I was too cute for him. I know to the average person my boyfriend isn't cute. But to me he is. It's all is little weird things and imperfections that I fell in love with. Things that used to not be cute to me I look at now and I wonder how the hell it wasn't attractive to me in the beginning. He still looks the same, but to me he is a thousand times cuter than he was on day one. I still catch a lot of shit for me dating someone who "isn't cute enough for me." But I don't care because to me, he is the cutest person in the world.

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  • it is not the most important aspect I rather have a guy that is not that great looking but he treats me well and he makes me laugh and loves me then having a good looking jerk.

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  • LIES!

    They probably mean looks aren't the most important thing they go on, but I doubt a guy would be happy to be sitting across the dinner from Juwanna Mann and be happy about that lol.

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