Is it possible for people's preferences to change?

Like from high school to adulthood?

i met the guy I am currently interested in back in high school. He was a jerk back then, he was even rude to me although I never did anything to him. Anyway, I remember he was the class clown and he used to pick on the nerdy kids. I think he must have been insecure, and an immature jerk. Anyway, in class, he was always talking about how gross fat people were and all this crap. And I was fat. Those comments were probably directed at me because I sat nearby. ha ha And I have seen pictures and I did look hideous. It was in those times when the emo style was popular and I liked that music and wore heavy eye makeup, had big colorful hair, a lip piercing,.etc. I looked like a monster. ha ha if I was a guy, I wouldve rejected me.

And that year, he met my friends sister online but rejected her when he saw her in person. She was pretty but fat too and he said she wasn't his type. I think he didn't like her for weight.

Anyway, I am now 20 and he is 21. I'm not emo anymore. I'm just me. I don't wear too much make up anymore and I dress better. I'm still fat though. People say I look thinner, but I think its just that I dress better or something. Idk. So I see him at work. I always resented him for the way he treated me (although I understand why. I looked gross!) but decided to let it go. Ill never forget it.though. And now I like him. I tried not to but he's so awesome! he's not that attractive to me but he is really cool. he's nice and polite when he comes. He seems to have grown up and matured, in some areas. but I know he's probably still a jerk. I don't think that will ever go away.

he makes me so nervous though. When he comes in, I can't even look at him in the face and I look at the floor alot. I try to go unnoticed but it never works. He always sees me. :( I work at a hair salon so he comes about once a month. I don't know if he can tell I get nervous but when I go and sweep the hair at that station, he stands close to me, in front of the mirror and starts to fix his hair. it makes me think he gets an ego boost out of making me nervous. Who knows.

Anyway, regarding my question, is it possible guy's stop being so shallow after high school? I don't know if the guy would say those things to look good in front of his friends, because he was quite popular. Or he really hates fat people and maybe still does so I have no chance? I'm not huge but I'm not curvy. I'm a bit heavier than what is considered curvy. What I find odd is that guys try to talk to me now. I do look kind of nice I guess but I don't think I deserve all this male attention. I'm used to being the ugly girl. its so weird that even high school guys stare a lot now but when I was in h.s, they wouldn't even glance at me.

So yeah I'm not asking if likes me. I'm wondering if guys change their preferences or standards after high school? I wonder if I stand a chance with this guy.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes we can change. Some more than others. Some not at all.

    One day most wake up and think "Wait a second, the world is too difficult for me to be giving crap to everyone just because they are different from me." or something to that effect.

    Maybe he has had to eat humble pie, maybe he got over his immaturity, who knows... but yes people can change...

    • Yeah maybe. I know I changed a lot after I graduated.

      Right now, he's a graphic designer and he works alot. he seems very dedicated to his job. maybe working helped him mature alittle.

What Guys Said 2

  • Yes people change from high school.

    He has planted seeds in high school of pain. Don't go back there but remember.

    Hating fat people is a way of saying he hates himself. Putting someone down to make himself look good is childish and proves, he has no value.

    He is afraid and weak, if he were confident instead of putting you down, he would have raised your spirits up.

    Good luck,

    • I know. he didn't have to be such an ass. I was actually surprised at his behavior because every one at school liked me and was always nice to me. I knew lots of people and we even had mutual friends so I don't know why he hated me. Like if I sat next to him, he'd say eww and go sit somewhere else. I don't know if he thought I liked him back then because he was always looking over like if I was looking at him.

  • Holy crap that's a long description.

    The answer is yes.

    • I know. Haha I should really read things over before posting them.There's a lot of unecessary information in there. Even I don't want to read that.

      Ok. Good to know. :D

What Girls Said 3

  • Many guys who are in high school don't really take the time out to try to look for a girl for genuine reasons, all their interested in 99% of the time is sex. So, basing that solely alone, yes, guys are really shallow during that time period. Even girls. Some people adapt and grow up and some don't. The real thing is though, life in general isn't like high school. I can tell you now, I'm a junior in high school, and all the people who "think" they have it good, or have all these friends. Pft trust, when you graduate, you'll have not but one or 2 good friends, maybe even more, depending on you're friendship. But that's besides the point. Yes people change their preferences, but it doesn't mean they lower them either.

    • Yeah you're right. I only kept in contact with one friend from high school because the other girls were hypocrites.

      Yeah my preferences did change too.back then, I liked guys for their looks but now, even the most attractive guy in the room doesn't really get my attention.

      You are very wise. :D

  • They can, but not likely.the odds are that if you were a jerk in high school, you're probably no different now.

    I saw some of the most popular guys who only dated bad bitches be with average to below looking women after graduating.that being said, you never know a guys true intentions. A lot of the a**holes had their glory years in school and fell off in life after they could be dating these girls because they can't get the women they really's possible they aren't shallow anymore but I would be skeptical.

    I suggest that you don't try to date a guy who treated you negatively ever

  • This is a really good question. For sure gals do change their preferences I know I have (I think). But for guys? Hmmm...

    Thank you for asking this, good idea.

    • The thing about mean comments is that I've met some guys who were nice in grade school, nice in high school and good adult guys. I question the idea that a person is a rude brat in high school and then one day they aren't anymore. No I don't think that really happens. Once a jerk always a jerk IMO now that I really consider it.

    • Yeah that thought actually did cross my mind. I know he's still not the nicest person. He's still a jerk some how. this girl was trying to get his attention this one time, and he wanted to make it clear he wasn't interested, so he started trying to.flirt with one of the employees here. He couldve.just ignored the girl, but no. he went through all that to rub it in her face. I felt kind of bad.

    • He sounds like a dud...forget him.