I guess this is my maternal side coming out in me, but if a guy catches my eye I always look to see if he could potentially make a good father and husband in the long run. I know many people that will date people on a whim and it doesn't seem to work out for them.
I guess what I'm trying to ask is, do you ever have one of those "He/She could be THE ONE." kind of moments before you have even talked to the person?
I'll probably always try to picture what kind of future I can have with a guy if/when I start dating him. I think it's a normal part of being human. Men probably do that too, but don't talk about it. It's what we do to keep ourselves from wasting our time with people who aren't worth it.
I hate to ruin love for you, but love is really just a chemical reaction in the brain.
Love at first sight is ACTUALLY self induced hypnosis at first sight. Couple love is both self induced hypnosis and hypnosis induced by the other person. If your interested in the chemical aspect of love, oxytocin (the "bonding" chemical) is a good thing to research.
I really try to move away from "The One" Doctorine because there are tons of girls (for you guys) that can the the "The One" category... Of course that still doesn't necessarily help you not fall for people at first sight (still guilty as charged here...) but you shouldn't let yourself fall for it too hard.
If I were actively looking for a girl, the only forward looking I would do is analyze to see if she is or could become crazy. I'm not one to follow by stereotypes, but crazy females is a big enough one that it would be foolish NOT to at least be cautious about.
I could not handle someone playing games, being insecure, being uninteresting, shallow as a puddle, etc...basically, if she isn't strong, independent, and has her sh*t together, then I don't want any part of it.
Other than stuff like that (which everyone should be doing anyway), I don't look forward to the things you mention because marriage, family, and stuff like that aren't priorities. If I get along with the person, then I seek to stay around them and enjoy the time spent with them.
I don't think I ever really considered any men in terms of having fathering abilities etc until I'd been with my current boyfriend for a few years and we were really thinking about settling down, moving in together and the like. Now I enjoy watching him take good care of his little nephew and occasionally think "that'll be us one day". Earlier on in the relationship, and in all other relationships, I did think about the future but more in terms of the person's character and so on. Would I always find their biting sarcasm endearing, or could it be the reason I want to kill them in a few years? That sort of thing.
No, never have those thoughts BEFORE I've even spoken to the person. Heck, I don't even have those thoughts yet even though I've known the guy for some time. I have to have known him for an adequate amount of time and have deep feelings for him first before I begin having those thoughts.
I always do this! I need to stop! It really is scary, even to me.
I've only had this happen once and it was with my current boyfriend. It was weird, really, since it was my first time experiencing it. I usually never think of maternal or motherly things like kids and such...
I think I get what you're saying. I usually think about marriage when I'm with a partner.
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