Is it okay to try to change the way a girl dresses?

a couple years back I really liked her and in the course of those few years her style has gradually changed. personally I find it highly unattractive.

I know that someones style is a big part of their identity, however, it makes all the difference between asking her out or not.

It probably shouldn't, matter but it does.

I need some advice on what to do.

Thank you for your time


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It really depends. What you find highly unattractive is what some of us would love. So you are probably going to have to be more specific.

    Though, I do understand you though, style is a pretty big factor. Everyone has their own standards and some people just want those who care or share the same trends. It's difficult to be with someone who you find unappealing or doesn't share interest in something you consider an important part of your life. If it was a habit, that's different, they aren't something that you see all the time.

    It's like someone who's sweet, awesome, and pretty but they are awful in bed. It really sucks because you like them but sadly, this is a 'oh-no-no' you can't let go. It's not that you or they are bad people, it's just something you deal with.

    Unless she wants to change or shows interest in having an eclectic style, then don't. I have a bunch of friends, usually girls, who buys clothing for their significant other because it's what they think is in good taste. The guys also are open or share that interest too.

    Truth and reality are harsh and those who can't accept it just deem those who do as jerks. Maybe you are like many who do not settle? As long as you aren't toying with another human I don't think not asking her out would be a d*** move because of her fashion choices.

    lol most of this is ramble but I think it gets my point across.

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What Girls Said 23

  • No, you can't change her. But sometimes people aren't sure of what looks good on them without advice. Be sure to compliment her when she wears something nice, and if she asks for your honest oppinion (such as which dress to wear to an event), give it to her. But keep it positive and don't give out critique where it's not welcome. Hope this helps!

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  • I really don't think it is. Even if she dresses like a total freak, that's her. It's not just the clothes she wears but the way she chooses to present herself and also likely a reflection of herself on the inside. Attempting to change the way she dresses is almost as bad as trying to change the person she is. And if you're trying to do that, why are you bothering with this girl?

    If you try to change her style, she's not going to appreciate it. Someone else will probably like her style so let them have her. You find someone you can wholly accept.

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  • you can't change her, its who she is

    guys can't change the way girls are and girls can't change the way guys are even if most people of both genders dream of the perfect person its just a fantasy, its supposed to just be a fantasy, we can help them through their struggles and suffering but only they can change themselves, in you start manipulating her psyche you'll end up causing more harm than good, you might even break her.

    I suggest taking a step back and rethink the way you should approach this, you can help her but you can't change her, does she like who she is from the bottom of her heart? if yes then theirs nothing you can do but deal with it, but if no you can help her through it, her decisions must not be affected by your ideals in any way however, you must allow her to be her own person.

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  • No, you can't change her, but do offer her some pointers perhaps in terms of colors or styles you think will look good on her. Take her out shopping and discuss these things. You need to start showing an interest in her fashion sense if you want to see her try out something new. And perhaps, by listening to her talk about her style you can better appreciate her and why she dresses the way she does. x

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  • If you're that concerned with her outward appearance, you shouldn't ask her out. It's always wrong to try & change another person to suit your personal preferences. The one exception to this rule is if they're engaging in harmful behavior, which style obviously is not.

    Ignoring blatant incompatibility in hopes of changing the other person is a fool's errand.

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  • no you can not. it is unethical, but also impossible. she is who she s. she chooses her style because of who she is. date someone you are attracted to, instead of treating women like they are a mr potato head you can reconstruct. no one is such a prize that you'll want to alter yourself _for_ them.. its demeaning... even if you suggested cool styles--its still insulting you expect her to change for u.

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  • I would never date a guy who doesn't like me - or my clothes. It's just not cool to criticise a girl's appearance, so you'll have to make a choice.

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  • you can't tell her upfront without hurting her feelings, does she get mad when you tell her something you don't like about her?

    why don't you buy her an outfit and ask her to put it on, or when she dresses how you want compliment her. That way it might make her dress nicer.

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  • Not okay , as long as she is not cheating on you ;she makes you wonder ,and smile bro

    That's all you should pay attention to. The reason why her dressing has changed is because she feels more confident about her body , you should take this for what it is . Which is a sign of her

    Confidence increasing . Don't you want to women who know isn't insecure about her body

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  • I agree that you can not change a persons dress no matter what.. BUT.. physical attraction is a part of any relationship. If you don't find her attractive any more, then best to let her find someone who thinks is attractive. You don't want to find yourself months down the track looking at other women wishing they looked like her.

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  • No, she is entitled to her own style. You can be honest about how you feel about it, but you can't change her.

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  • THink of this: Given the choice would you pick a girl who told you they didn't like the way you dress and told you to change it or any of the other 99.9% of girls on the earth who wouldn't do that?

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  • i know I'm just another girl's opinion in the sea of girls opinions on this question but, you really cannot change a person's style male or female. you could ask her to go shopping and point out things you like, think are cute, but you can't straight out change her.

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  • No it's not okay, especially over something so trivial as what pieces of fabric she is wearing. Either take her as she comes or leave her alone.

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  • If she's OK with it, why not?

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  • What is unattractive about the way she dresses? Does she dress skanky? Does she dress daggy?

    Maybe go on shopping trips or something and say "that would look AMAZING on you" to a garment or something.

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  • No not cool. It's like her trying to make you interested in certain things because she doesn't agree. I don't think you'd like that.

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  • You shouldn't try to change the way she dress maybe tell her you opinon on itOk something

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  • Good luck.

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  • If you're going into a relationship hoping to change someone, don't do it. its not fair to her if you're trying to change such a trivial thing as how she dresses.

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  • He style tells you a little bit who she is and what you will and won't find attractive about her.

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  • buy her something nice that you would like to see her in!:)

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  • Is she gonna look good with her clothes off? I'd think that would be more important than what she wears . . . I understand to a certain extent, you want to be attracted to someone and how they present themselves is part of that. If you really like her though, it's something you look over. You won't find a girl with EVERY single quality you want, there is always compromise. So are you really telling me that her clothes are a deal breaker? That sounds awfully picky. And no, it's not OK to ask her to change that about herself. We love people because of who they are, not who we want them to be.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You can't mold her into what you want her to be

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  • Move on and find someone with more in common

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