Should a I care if my attractive girlfriend loves me but doesn't find us attractive?

My girlfriend is generous, smart, warm hearted, beautiful, sexy, fun and much more. I’m confident that she loves me. I feel like I’ve really lucked out with her. However, when it comes to people’s looks, especially her own, she is incredibly critical. On the attraction scale I think she is a 10 out of 10 but she thinks she is an unsatisfying 6 out of 10. Along with that I think she sees me as an unsatisfying yet deserving 7.

She is in her late 30's and has been single for a long time and never been able to find Mr. Right. She has had men much more attractive and less attractive than me. So I worry that she may not be satisfied with me whenever I see her longingly look at other more attractive men. Along with that, when we are making love, she can’t seem to look directly at me or herself in the mirror.



I’ve started seeing a therapist over this cause ya never know, this all may just be in my mind. Right?

Anyway, should a I care if my attractive girlfriend loves me but doesn't find us attractive


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Most Helpful Girl

  • a 7 is pretty good looking...most men are like a 4 lol

    and don't down yourself because she is a 10 obviously she likes you and loves you and thinks your good looking bcuz she is with you.

    okay I dated a lot of guys who were 10's and they were cocky and arrogant and players.

    then I dated a guy who I would say is like a 7 and his personality made up for the looks part, girls like guys not just based on their looks, maybe she like how funny you are or how caring you are...you know the list can go on forever. my hubby I would say is a 10 because his looks are like a 8-9 and his personality is the best I would give him like a 100...lol he is everything I look for..we both have the same humor..love the same things..list goes on. so stop questioning her love for you.

    and about her...my hubby always tells me I'm perfect..but I don't belive that and iw ouldnt be able to look at myself in the mirror either while I'm having sex..i would probably end up laughing. so there ya go..stop worrying :)

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    • Thank you for the encouragement but it sounds more like consolation. Ok, tell your husband that his looks are and 8-9 but that you've dated 10's. Then tell him that his personality made up for his looks. Then, to complete the castration, tell him you don't believe his compliments. Try it. I dare you. Let me know if he needs my therapist's number.

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    • Have you argued over this yet?

    • No he would never argue over this he always says what in my past is in my past...be more confident she is with you for a reason and not with them so stop....

What Girls Said 1

  • I think what we're seeing here is that you need to be confident (not saying you're not, only saying that confidence doesn't hurt). As long as you are not arrogant or cocky, you need to look in the mirror and say "Damn I'm hot! Any girl would be lucky to have me." Rating yourselves is pubescent and completely subjective, pertaining only to opinions. Not to mention somewhat, I think, hurtful! Tell her what you think about her, beautiful smart sexy etc. I doubt that will change how she feels about herself right away but it will change how she feels that YOU feel about her which eventually leads to her liking herself more.

    As for other guys, remember, you're the sexiest man alive, act it and you'll believe it.

    I really hope things look up for you :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • I would stop focusing on the looks and start focusing on how you make you make yourself feel. You love someone for how they make you feel and not for how they look or for their personality. Stop focusing on superficial things. It will only make you more insecure. The truth is… Nobody is perfect. And beauty doesn't last. Personality isn't always enough either. People with great personality have to take out devorce. When you are 70 years old none of you are going to care weather or not you are a 10 or a seven because it doesn't matter. What matter is all the good years and great moments you shared. And all the beautiful feelings you had together. Start opening up. Tell her how you feel. admit your fears infront of her. It's the only way that she will start trusting you to the point where she will tell you why she is so afraid. The truth is that she is probably so sceared of you hurting her that she is not able to admit to you that you are right in case you change your mind later.

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