Stupid insecurities suddenly

I'm 5'4. My boyfriend is 6'5. Today he said to me, "I like your height and all, but if I could have you at the ideal height you'd be 5'9. Then we could match."

I was like...uh wtf? Who says that? Sorry, I can't exactly change my height, now can I? No. But now I feel really bad about myself. For the entire six years we've known each other and the entire year and a half we've been dating, all he did was tell me how much he loved my height and how it was "perfect," and now, out of the blue, he's gone and told me he wants me to be five inches taller.

So...now I feel bad, because obviously he'd find me more attractive if I were taller - something I have absolutely no control over.

I don't know why this upsets me this much, to be perfectly honest. How do I get myself back on track?

Updates:
Okay, guys, I KNOW life is harder for short guys. Okay? I get that. Hence why I think the fact that I'm being insecure about it is stupid. But that doesn't change the fact that I am insecure about it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "I don't know why this upsets me this much, to be perfectly honest. How do I get myself back on track?"

    "I was like...uh wtf? Who says that? Sorry, I can't exactly change my height, now can I? No. But now I feel really bad about myself. For the entire six years we've known each other and the entire year and a half we've been dating, all he did was tell me how much he loved my height and how it was "perfect," and now, out of the blue, he's gone and told me he wants me to be five inches taller."

    You tell him that ^

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What Guys Said 8

  • I find this so ironic. Now you know how every "Vertically challenged" guy in the world feels, lmao. At least he's still with you - don't worry about it.

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  • There are plenty of short guys who can't even get relationships because of their height. They will most likely be single for the rest of their lives and won't see a vagina that isn't getting paid by the hour. The only thing they have to look forward to in life is being an elbow rest for tall guys as they spit game and woo girls like you.

    You're 5'4'', an average height for girls. You will never struggle to find love due to your height, as even a 6'5'' man still found the will to stay with you for over a year. This is not the end of the world, heck, its not even the end of your relationship.

    With that I must say, on behalf of those with REAL problems... get the f*** over it.

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  • Hey, at least you know what it feels like to walk in the footsteps of a man who isn't 6'0+. Now you only have to endure hearing this another couple hundred time to even get a clue of what some men go through.

    The only think you can ever do is to ignore it and hope it goes away overtime.

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    • Yes, yes, because insensitivity and "I wish you were like ___" goes away by ignoring it.

      Love,

      A girl who has dated short guys and was happy with them

  • Height does not matter. But now he has made you insecure about your height. And that's fine. Whoever makes fun of you for being insecure is not being sensitive to your feelings.

    Don't worry too much about it. If this is the first time he's said it in six years, then maybe he's joking. If he isn't, then you shouldn't feel you have to change. Don't worry. You're good the way you are. You don't have to change anything. If he says otherwise, just ignore him and believe in yourself. Yes, you may be upset. Yes, you may not no why, but that is just being sensitive. It's okay to be sensitive. Everyone gets sensitive once in a while. We wouldn't be human if we didn't get sensitive.

    Just keep on living your life. Don't let comments like that bother you. Just stay strong and be unmoved whenever people try to tell you that you need to change. Don't break up with him. He just said it once. Nothing too bad to worry about.

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    • As I can see from some of the other answers, some guys say that short guys also have to go through this. This is off-topic and way different than short girls. Guys have to be more manly, so being short makes them laughed at. Finally, girls are much shorter than guys, on average, so saying that girls (the QA) now know what short guys have to go through is irrelevant, because there are far less short guys compared to short girls. Those insensitive answers don't answer the question.

    • You make good points. I really hope the boyfriend was kidding but I doubt it :(. Why do so many guys criticize things on girls they can't change? Seriously. Anyway, see my comment below.

  • Simply be happy about yourself, and be blissful to have a guy who can stay with you for more than six years even despite of the height disparity which is usually look down by the society.

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  • i'm 6 foot 5 myself and see no problem with 5 foot 4. (to be honest I don't care about height at all) don't worry about your height. if he's been with you for 6 years it is highly unlikely that he will leave you just because there is a taller girl. but if it really bothers you, try wearing heels more? hope this helps :)

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    • Ugh. I think high heels are disgusting. The feet don't seem natural and they seem kind of calloused.

  • Try being a guy at that height. You would be a lot worse off

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    • I like short guys. I like tall guys too. But hot is hot. Height isn't an issue for me. Seriously, this has nothing to do with a few shallow women out there who have crazy height requirements.

    • Just for the record, I'm not one of those people that gave you the negative vote. The question is about the woman, not about men. But you are right. Short guys would be a lot worse off. Just saying.

  • psh I'm 5'9 and I think just about every girl would find me more attractive if I were 5 inches taller, no?

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    • @ update, ya its harder being short, that's just a fact. you're not growing anymore so get used to it. the fact that the dumbass girls on here are being empathetic to the qa and telling the short guys to just get over it is ridiculous

What Girls Said 3

  • What a stupid, hurtful thing to say. I'm sorry. :( It would upset me a lot, too.

    Why don't you suggest that certain parts of him could be a different size? (Just kidding, that's passive-aggressive and mean).

    Anyway, tell him what you told us and see what happens. But if it doesn't go well and/or if you get the vibe he wants to change you and is ungrateful for you, dump him.

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    • Some of the other answerers on here don't seem to get it... It's kind of like "oh, be grateful he's still settling with you." Errrr no.:(

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    • If I ever got a girlfriend, I would have to make sure that we had similar ideals. So for me, there are some things that I have to know. Although I probably wouldn't be so blunt.

    • I am the same way. I just think it would be horrible to date a guy and say "you'd be ideal if you were taller" or to date a girl and say "you'd be ideal if your bust was bigger." just no.

  • the average height for a woman is 5'4. Him being 6"5 he has a lesser chance of finding a woman who is 5'9. you can't do anything about your height and you shouldn't be insecure about it. He is dating you so he likes you. Yes he prefers you taller but that means nothing

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  • Wow. The guys here need to take a step back. This has NOTHING to do with men of shorter heights. Why would you bring that up? Bitter, much? The poster has divulged something that went on in HER life, in HER relationship, the comment made by HER boyfriend to HER. There is absolutely no relation to all you rats snickering apparent sweet revenge in her feeling "what a short guy feels like." Relax.

    I'm sorry, OP. Sometimes men don't realize the toll they can take by remarking "negatively" (which he probably didn't intend... he, and many men, or just clueless) on a woman's appearance. I am going to guess that it was as harmless as when a guy says he'd rather you do something different with your hair for whatever you're going to, and the female thinking he means it made you look unattractive.

    If you are really bothered by it, try talking to him.

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