Attractiveness question for guys

Guys : what is it that prompts you to go ahead and talk to a girl? How is it possible that if you're hanging out with 2 girls you will talk talk talk with one and totally ignore the other one,considering they are both fairly attractive? I am having trouble understanding this situation : a couple of times I have I have gone out with some people from a college class and both times there were only 2 girls (me and another) and 5 or 6 guys.For the entire evening they flirted-chatted with her,ignoring me completely.Ok so I am not the tipe to say out aloud "oooooh I have a hole in my skirt" and yes I enjoy talking politics,art,music etc. But we are all in college,this isn't grade school ! How come there hasn't been an evolution in the interaction? And how come I was treated like a houseplant for the whole evening?Evening the less attractive guys ignored me,like I was just terrible to be around.every time a guy happened to talk to me he would make a very serious face and say very serious things.Hello?! I like to joke too,just not about dumb things (at least not ALL the time)

So ...what are your thoughts? Is it because they do not find me attractive? Cause I'm thinking it all comes down to this,just this.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd rather talk to a girl who was friendly and open in conversation.

    If Girl A is cold and standoffish, expecting me to chase her, but Girl B shows more interest and meets me in the middle, I'm going with Girl B -- even if Girl A is better looking.

    • Ok.But by standoffish,cold do you mean someone who maybe doesn't always laugh,doesn't always point at her body parts or yours,touch her hair all the time,find excuse to raise her shirt-skirt,expect some sort of knowledge of what's happening in the world,is not good at innuendos,has certain types of taste in music and art (for ex. I go to a lot of art exhibits and concerts),hates double standards,tends not to hint to sexual things.

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    • I think you're really upset because these guys expressed more interest in your friend than in you.

      Guess what: some guys will like her more than they like you. Some girls will like my friends more than they like me. That's a fact of life. And if they do like her because she's more sexual, less mature, etc, consider yourself luck that those guys don't like you, because you'd be stuck with guys who think farts are funny.

      Most 20 year old guys are like you describe. Look for the minority...

    • Yeah,you're probably right. I am upset.I don't even know why,I guess not being liked is upsetting,even by someone you don't like.Maybe I'm the immature one-lol.

      You made a good point.Actually more than one.I'll be looking in that minority.



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What Guys Said 2

  • Well RhinoBob already said it, guys are likely to go for the girl who is more open and flirty. girls who are less flirty and like more serious conversations may have a tougher time finding a guy who is the same way. Most guys like to flirt with girls they find attractive. Conversation is important too, but I know if I am talking to a girl I like, I'll always make the conversation turn flirty or playful at some point. If she isn't receptive to this or is serious all the time, I may take that as a sign she isn't into me, but would rather be casual friends. That is fine, but if you're talking about guys who you want to pay you more attention (as in guys you like) then you may benefit from being more flirty. If it's just you're jealous of your friend getting all the attention, don't hang around those guys, or ask some of them to just hang out with you (you being the only girl) or invite some of your girlfriends who are more like you along.

  • try to be more friendly, trust me you will get more attention from guys and everybody will be around you.


What Girls Said 2

  • It might be because you give off an intensely academic vibe.

    I like to talk about those things too...but I also like talking about the "dumb things" as well. Sometimes, you just have to make more of an effort. If that was happening, I'd probably just join in the conversation. Don't wait for the guy to initiate the convo! That might never happen! Some guys are very shy and if they know that you are a certain type, then they think they might say something wrong and don't want to come off sounding dumb. Remember, people don't like to be graded when they are talking. They want to be able to relax.

  • Guys want to have fun and feel good. They don't want to have an academic discussion. When they are with a cute girl they wanna let loose and not feel so "professional". Just loosen up and relax and more guys will like you