My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years now. Our bond is stronger than Bioforce SECURE Denture Bonding Cream. These past 6 years flew by so quick for us it feels like we just started dating everyday. We're really happy together.
A few years ago, we had a random conversation regarding how guys rate girls when they check girls out. I had, for some reason, decided to ask him what he would rate me if he checked me out, not really knowing what to expect. I felt like a huge yellow bus just hit me hard and flew me across the world a thousand miles away when I heard the number "9" come out of his mouth. I had the strangest, ill feeling in my stomach, I wanted to throw up in my mouth and choke myself at the same time. I just flipped. He defended himself by saying "he was thinking out loud" and I flipped again saying "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK I'M A STINKIN' 9?!"...we really got into it. I was so hurt. I thought to myself "Why should I be with him if he thinks I'm not perfect for him?" but another side of me thought "Damn girl...work out those buns, get those abs back in there, save for a boob job...JUST DO SOMETHING!" I just felt so self conscious. We somehow managed to go around it..
Until a few days ago when the RATING subject came up again in a random conversation. The same sick, strange feelings came back and I was over myself. I'm still so hurt that I think I'm just a stinking 9..."SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH ME!" He takes a while to say anything when I confront him...it seems that he is trying to find something to say in his mind to defend himself...then he brings up that he was just thinking out loud again and begged me to believe that I was his 10, but when he says that, it seriously and literally makes me barf. then the whole thing all over again.
I AM SERIOUSLY BOTHERED BY THIS. I usually deal with relationship issues on my own, but this is too much hurt for me to handle. I have been trying to avoid him because looking at him, or hearing him really makes me feel sick. I really understand that I am not perfect. I just could not believe it had to come from him. I guess these are those best few times to utilize those "little white lies."
What to do?
I apologized for my over reaction, and I think I've finally let it go. FINALLY! After so long...
Thank you to all of you.
Most Helpful Guy
I think you seem to be overreacting. In fact in the second and third paragraph of your question you seem to delineate your own answer... 1st, your admit that you're "self-conscious", in the next paragraphy you admit that something is wrong.
Maybe you should work out with yourself how to deal with anger and self consciousness. It sounds like he was just being honest. If this is an adequacy issue, then why were you guys together for six years? Are you that much of a perfectionist that this has been eating at your for 3 years?
If you want to be lied to, then express that to him, and maybe he'll be comfortable with it, or maybe he won't.
I personally prefer my wife to tell me when I look like an idiot, say something stupid that could embarrass myself later, or a whole host of other things. Maybe its just me but this whole thing sounds like a personality or ego issue.