How do I make my looks a top priority?

How can I become more interested in making sure I look great all the time, keeping myself down to a size 6-4, wearing hotter clothes, etc?

I have a hard time caring about all of these things when I'm so busy (working 40-60 hours a week, commuting another 10). I haven't let myself go exactly, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be dumped because I'm not as hot as I should be. How can I make those things a priority?


Most Helpful Guy

  • As a guy who's been told he cleans up well, I think I can say this is in my wheelhouse.

    When you're very busy it's best to have a simple set up that makes you easy to get up and going. Keep an easy to maintain haircut, take one day a week and do all the deep work - manicure/pedi, exfoliation, face masque, that sort of thing. Then the rest of the time use some high quality but subtle makeup.

    Keep your outfits racked together in the closet. Take a day - make Sunday your spa and beauty day - and lay out a bunch of good looking clothes that go well together. That way each day you've got easy choices. When you're working that much, you don't have very long in the morning to put together a winning combo.

    Sexually, learn from the pros. Down under, keep things trim. Shave and leave a landing strip or heart or smiley face, whatever, up top. Pluck any hair around your areolas, don't shave. Exfoliating everywhere gets rid of the cruft and makes your skin look younger and fresh. Put some perfume between your breasts and on your belly. Use lotion, all over. Everything looks better with moisture on it. Wear a darker shade of lipstick.

    I stumbled across an ebook that was the sexual secrets of p*rn stars. Ended up being all about women, so I admittedly only read a little. That's what I remember as far as hygiene and makeup.

    Take the stairs, not the elevator, park far away, the more you walk every day the higher your energy level will be overall. Drink green tea for the egcg, it increases your metabolism as well. Do yoga. In front of your man. In those yoga pants that just got recalled. Google it. Just knowing you're working on it (without the usual whining about it most guys hate) makes you more appealing. Do squats, do squats, do squats. And any other glute intensive exercise you hear about.

    It should actually make him respond by trying to impress you. After all, when a man's girl is getting sexier, he's going to feel a little jealous of the attention she's getting, or even the attention he imagines she's getting. My ex wife started doing 5K and 10K runs and I started thinking about her new butt, and still get jealous. Ten years later. Don't tell her I said that.

    And breathe. Relax. Meditate when you can. A calm confident woman is sexy.

    • How are some ways to actually get excited about this, though? Because he's been such a d*** about it, even doing things I used to like feel like a chore?

    • This is tough. When you're down about something, knowing the right course feels wrong, if someone else repeats it to you.

      So the key is to deal with that first, internally.

      It's like when meditating and a loud motorcyclist goes by.

      You have to acknowledge the annoyance, then dismiss it.

      And get back to what makes you feel right, in the moment.

      So he's a d*** about it.

      The goal isn't really about him.

      It's about you.

      Get to where you feel sexy.

      The man doesn't matter so much.

    • Thanks for your advice.

What Guys Said 2

  • OK. let's lay this out: you work 40-60 + 10 commuting, that's up to 70 hours a week. You are clearly busting your hump trying to establish yourself in a career.

    If your guy met you while you were already doing this, then he should support you in your ambitions and not treat you harshly for not spending 20 hours a week at the gym. If he looses interest because you don't have perfect makeup all the time then it was a shallow relationship anyway and you haven't lost much.

    You may have to make a choice about whether to continue full speed with your career or backing down and finding a relationship and starting a family. Don't wait too long or you won't have too many options. Determine what is most important to you and work towards that. Just remember, you can't be all things to all people.

    • I'm not really that into my career ... It's just the only place I can find a job and that's what I need to do to keep it. I'm not sure how to escape this altogether hopeless situation. He is angry about my job situation, but I don't think he understands that it's a lot harder for me to find a new job because I'm in a different field than he is. If I could only find a will to care more about being dolled up, I'm hoping he'd be nicer to me and then at least one thing would be going right?

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    • It doesn't take so much existing skill as it does drive - sounds like you don't lack that. My best advice is do something you love, I've played with computers since I was in Jr high and laugh about the fact that I make 6 figures for something I'd do for free. What did you want to do as a child? Who do you most admire? If you're willing to start at the bottom, the only place you can go is up.

    • The bad thing is that I am using the skills (writing) that I wanted to use as a child. I just didn't understand that work would own my life so much. The real world has been much harsher than I ever imagined in every way.

  • Find someone who likes you when you are dressed for comfort. Why try to get dolled up to just let it go when you get with somebody? Personally I like a curvy woman size 12-16. If they fall in love with you, it doesn't matter what you have on.

    • My experience is that letting it go is the main reason that men detest the women they're dating. Most women who put most of their effort into their looks have a bit of the upper hand in a relationship, ya know?

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    • Just find someone who shares your passion. You would have someone to do the activity with, go on trips, etc. Plus it is a good ice breaker since you both know the topic. I feel that there are plenty of people out there for us that would make us completely happy. Just be optimistic.

    • Thanks for the hopeful words. Best wishes.

What Girls Said 3

  • Time management. Is paramount. Set a schedule for things you need to do for yourself e.g. Grooming and hygiene, exercise, putting your ensemble together etc.

  • By taking really good care of yourself.

  • I think if he loves you and cares about you he will be happy w you the way you are & he should be proud of you for working so hard. but if you want to get yourself back on track do it for yourself. it'll make you feel better if anything

    • I'm not really sure how to become emotionally invested in it?