In high school I was an outsider- never fit in, none of that. I was fatter, not cool, didn't take much fashion risk and I wasn't allowed to dye by hair.
Off and on I worked in jobs while going to school where I couldn't dye my hair crazy colors or do my hair too extreme.
Well, now I am finishing up my bachelors in the next couple years and I feel like I am running out of time to experiment and "rebel" if you were. I never had a rebelious time because I wasn't allowed to explore that. I want to cut and dye my hair in crazy ways, play with fashion and really go for it.
I feel like I am losing time and soon I am going to have to bite the bullet and be a complete professional. I have no problem being professional, but dressing the part, calming and settling down are things I am not necessarily looking forward to.
I have always rejected the "dressing cute/pretty" thing mainly because I don't think I am and I think I look ridiculous so I dress either more edgy, very plain, or over the top 5's style girly.
I am not the type to wear really feminine stuff. I just feel stupid in it.
I just feel like I am too old to change my entire style and go more edgy, and I fear I will just look ridiculous and immature.
I know this is a weird rant thing, but just wondering if anyone went through the same thing.
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Oh gosh you are not nearly fat! Not in that pic anyway... As I'm saying this I'm hoping that is you in the pic lol. If that is you in the pic well I just think you look cute, and attractive by the way too.
Lol I didn't go through the same thing, I went through the opposite. My brother was all like, straight laced, genuinely. Meanwhile I believe I fooled my people that I was but I was not playing the game of life right at all, so after my teen years I felt bad and straightened up and feel like an idiot for doing some really stupid $hit as a teen. For example I didn't really think about how harsh it must have been on all the people whose car aerials vanished because of me until years later when I realized that was totally uncool and felt bad lol. I think it was the anonymous notoriety that I dug though, because me and my friends made the local paper as 'mystery car aerial thiefs' as most of the cars in our suburb had had their aerials gone. And the thing with the burning dumpsters, everyone was talking about it and speculating as to who did it but nobody knew it was me and my friends. I think that was in the local paper too.
I never hurt anyone though. Wouldn't dream of it, ever. I just kind of liked burning things and stealing things.
But yeah for me it was the opposite as for you lol.1