He critiques my looks but tells me I'm beautiful..whats up?

First of all my boyfriend and I (not to be rude) are two very attractive people. We are both 23, work out every day, and my mom says we look like a Barbie and Ken except not idiots, haha. But anyway through most of my childhood I was very awkward and kind of ugly. I grew into myself but I still have the heart of an "ugly girl". My boyfriend doesn't help..he's been gorgeous his whole life and if I look bad one day he'll say "What did you do with your makeup? You're wearing too much/you're wearing it wrong, you look weird today." He doesn't understand why that would upset me. Also when I tell him I'm thinking of getting surgery for my face, he always tells me "Okay then go ahead if it makes you feel better," instead of saying "no, you're perfect the way you are."

The weird thing is, he thinks I'm prettier than every girl he knows, and he tells me this. He says it's really important to HIM that I think I'm gorgeous, but how can I think that when he always criticizes me? I feel like we are always arguing about this, and he just says that if a person doesn't like an aspect of themselves they should change it, whereas I think unless its a deformity, people should learn to love themselves regardless. So why does he do this? Why does he tell me I'm the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen, with full sincerity, and then tell me what's wrong with me? And how can I stop starting fights about this?

He's never been known to sugar coat anything...if he was saying this to make me feel better, then he wouldn't say the mean things to begin with.
I'm not angry because I know he isn't trying to be mean, but it does bother me.
We've been together for a year and a half


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hes just being playful.

    I play with my girlfriend this way all the time telling her things similar to what he tells you , and she's gorgeous .

    I don't mean any of what I'm saying, I'm just messing with her but she doesn't get all anal about it the way you do.

    Hes just messing with you, let it go.

    • I think you might be right. He loooves messing with me, which is fine!

    • Yep. Don't get offended its all fun and games!

What Guys Said 2

  • He's telling you this stuff to make you feel better. Maybe you need to look better for him.

    • Then why are you asking the question to begin with? This is worthless and your fishing for "your gorgeous for who you are" answers. Sorry but you probably don't have the heart of gold you think you do.

    • Wow, what a stupid attitude. You don't know what kind of heart she has, neither do I.

      But if you don't like a girls looks, what the hell are you doing with her? Do yourself both a favor, dump her, and find someone that meets your requirements.

    • Haha that guy who just commented is not my boyfriend...

  • He's just a bit dumb about people...maybe intelligent, but doesn't know how to deal with people/girls.

    His heart is in the right place, just excuse him when he acts dumb ad says stuff like that.


What Girls Said 2

  • You can easily just blow off what he's saying or tease him about his fastidiousness about you looking your best. You can't change his attitude, but you can change the way you react to it. Maybe if you didn't react so strongly to his helpful suggestions, he would take the hint and lay off. Obviously, since you've fought about it, it's been previously discussed - so change tactics and laugh it off or ignore it.

    As for why he behaves that way - it's because you're insecure and it sounds like you are constantly looking for his approval on your looks. I guess he now feels like it's his duty to help you out. Your insecurity is understandable, since you've described yourself as a previous ugly duckling, but it sounds like you're having problems getting over it. Maybe if you stopped emphasizing the importance of looking good, he will too.

    Good luck.

  • If his comments upset you let him know. A closed mouth doesn't get fed honey. I would be offended by a guy saying that to me too. Unless you look really tore up that day he shouldnt say that you wear your makeup wrong.