What Is The Deal With This Married Guy?

A married dad looks at me a lot at my son's school. At first I thought nothing of it, but then it became more obvious. One time I was walking by and I looked up and he was staring right at me, looked away really quick, then back again sheepishly. He finds me in a crowd of other parents and stares a bit. I see his reflection in the school windows watching me (it's definitely me as I stand in a section that no one else is in.). Isn't it weird to stare at someone from behind? The weirdest thing he did was come to the school with his wife and proceed to constantly glance over at me right in front of her. I felt like he wanted my reaction even though I don't know this guy from anything! At one point his wife was giving me a stink-eye side glance! I decided to bring my husband to school with me so he would stop staring, but he paid even more attention! He even listened in to a conversation my husband and I were having with a teacher! I looked over and he was staring right at me again!

There are days he seems to keep to himself and I think maybe he's stopped, but then he start again.

What is this about? Anyone else think this is weird? Guys, what is up with this guy?


1|0
5|21

Most Helpful Guy

  • What is it about? He thinks your hot, probably wants you although he knows he can't have you

    It's not especially weird. Some guys don't understand boundaries. Some may know that they can glance at a lady or even stare under the correct circumstances but some don't get that and it probably means that socially he is a bit inept.

    Society does seem to accept a certain amount of ogling. A quick glance or the ocassional stare but this guy doesn't get it. Some days maybe he realizes it but at other times he probably just lets his lust get the best of him. It's also fair to say that he probably isn't all that satisfied in his marriage (not just sexually necessarily).

    If it bothers you too much you may need to say something to him. It doesn't have to be confrontational, but something along the lines of (in a relatively crowded area so he has to behave himself) "hey I notice you check me out. That is OK to a point and I'm flattered but it is also a bit inappropriate (particularly with our spouses around) and is going to get you or I in trouble so please stop"

    0|1
    0|0
    • Thank you for your answer! I would feel awkward confronting him, but if my husband comes with me again and notices it he would most likely say something, lol. Hopefully it won't get to that point. But you're right it's especially inappropriate in front of our spouses. I was like "you've got to be kidding me" when he did it in front of his wife. He had even more balls to do it when my husband was standing right there.

      Thanks again for your input!

    • Show All
    • probably means your husband is super secure in himself and your relationship... I hate to admit it (that I do have some insecurities about it) and while I'd never express my jealousy to my girlfriend I almost always notice guys looking at my fiance. I give them the death stare but also kind of laugh to myself and puff up my chest (figuratively) because I know they are looking but can't touch ...

    • You should be proud! At the end of the day YOU are the one that goes home with her, not those guys that look at her.

      My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have 4 kids together so he knows I'm stuck with him and vice versa, lol. ;)

What Guys Said 20

  • Hang on what school is this?... it could be me... hahahahaha sorry no I am not that sleazy... it is VERY weird behavior it's one thing to be attracted to someone and give them the odd glance but to stare at you constantly must make you fell so uncomfortable and it is very creepy and rude, I think you need to approach him either directly or via the school principal as it is inappropriate behavior and very anti social also believe it or not but by law it can be seen as an assault as the law states an assault is any unwanted advance and no person should be subject to this kind of behavior .

    0|0
    0|0
    • Lol, thanks for your answer! He's never approached me or said a word to me and he seems quiet. I don't think I need to get him in trouble or anything. I think now that I will make an extra point not to make any eye contact he will get the hint hopefully. It's not consistent, but when he does it's obvious.

  • he's hoping you'll notice him noticing you and that it will turn you on. When he saw that you were married it only aided his 'quest' as it means you would have just as much of a reason to keep things a secret as he would.

    Guys like this are very shy, so if you want it to stop all you should have to do is call him out on it.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Thanks for your answer! I thought my husband being there were make him less weird but it didn't. I really think ignoring him totally will extinguish it.

    • Show All
    • well, he is hoping your reaction will be an invigorating realization that you are getting his attention, such that you won't be able to help yourself but to breathlessly stagger over to him and put your hand down his pants. men are funny creatures...

    • Lol! I am going to laugh imagining that when I pick up my kids later and I see that creeper. Well I'll think it because I will never make eye contact again. :)

  • Hello, guys chase and stare at girls they find attractive, if the guy loves the girl he is with a girlfriend or wife - then he ignores other women. if he has integrity, loyal. I think that others are players and always want more, who are not loyal. I think that if you are no longer in love then its better to break up or divorce, with exceptions to people who are in their 50-ies. they are guys who can cheat, and stare at every woman. I have known guys who cheated, I have a friend who has a wife but always speaks, stares at other women, but not flirts which is a good thing, a colleague of mine not only stares like the guy you talk about but also flirts and touches other women. Even I wouldn't behave that way with the girl which I just met, and frankly I find such behavior horrible. More so the girl even flirts back, and I think that he would cheat, and talks disrespectfully about his wife and kids. There are people like this.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He finds you attractive so he's looking!Maybe to make it less awkward have a conversation with the couple when both spouses are there so then maybe you Can Make this a friendly encounter rather than a creepy googly eyed staring event.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe he's on medication, he doesn't get out as much as you think, or he has crappy relationship. But probably he's a creepy mentally ill stalker type, because that's something that only normal boys tend to do when they are like 10-13. (stare and daydream about girls right in front of them)

    have your husband give him a lecture or at least aproach him about it. Sometimes people can be so "out of it" they don't even know what they are doing and just need reminded to be polite, a welcome back to earth kind of thing.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are looking too much into it. There could be a ton of reasons he looks at you. He may be an observing type of person. For all you know, he could look at everyone like that. He may thinks you are attractive. Just because he is married doesn't mean he is happy. A very high percentage of people are extremely unhappy and married. Worst case scenario, he is a stalking pervert who might hurt you if he gets you alone. The point is that you never know. Don't be paranoid, it's not worth the stress, but also be aware of the possibilities.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for your answer! Maybe he is observant, but then he must be really nosy, lol. And even when I'm just standing there doing nothing he still stares. Maybe I'll do a little jig next time to make his observation more interesting. Just kidding of course, but I'm going to go the extra mile to ignore him and not acknowledge any staring no matter how creepy.

    • You're welcome. I guess the whole point is to not let anything stress you out. Life is too short for that crap lol. But it is important to not be oblivious either. Hell, want to really find out, go up and ask him lol. Might be a little weird, but it might be fun too. *shrug* :P

  • It is always possible to find someone attractive and you want to look at that person. But after the VERY FIRST indication I get that she is conscious, I don't do it again. This guy is a little strange. And one thing I don't do is, stare at other girls when my wife is with me. OK - I mean, I don't go blind; but I control myself.

    0|0
    0|0
    • That was weird when his wife was there. He kept glancing over like he was trying to get my reaction to his being with his wife. I tried my best to ignore them but I guess she noticed hence the stinkeye. You're like my husband, he'll glance at another pretty woman but not flat out stare when I'm around.

      This guy seems to eavesdrop on my conversations with other guy parents or my husband.

    • Show All
    • I hope he is not playing the walking dead with you. From creepy to scary ! Dang !

    • I know right? LOL!

  • He finds you attractive and knows that he can't have you. He may not realize he is staring, he probably isn't trying to creep you out but if it really bothers you tell him your flattered for the attention but its inappropriate

    0|2
    0|1
  • Guy thinks girl is attractive. Guy is married, so he can't exactly do anything but stare. Don't know what else to say...

    0|2
    1|0
  • OK I am kind of shy and probably stair at people a bit too much but that is over the top creepy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • this guy is definitely a creeper, and possibly a sex offender. check out your local sex offender registry and see if his name is on there. if necessary, alert the school authorities. better safe than sorry

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for answering! I don't get a sex offender vibe as I don't see him staring at the kids. I think he has some attraction to me and is shy and quiet about it. I have seen him with his son and he seems like a very attentive dad. I just thought he stared at me a lot fur a married guy ( and me being a married woman)

  • One, this guy kind of creeps me out too. Two, the action would depend on if he decides to take it further by talking or going other places you are at. I think he looks at you and might see something missing in his own life, might even be a fantasy of some sort to him. You should how ever, tell him to leave you alone. It's fine to look at a pretty woman sometimes, but not to the point he's causing issues with others, to include his own wife. if it proceeds, tell her to have him leave you alone.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for answering. Thankfully I've never seen him around off of school grounds. But I will keep my eyes peeled especially over the summer. I remember a time when he wore like either a cop of security guard uniform to the school and walked directly in front of me with his jacket tucked in just so his gun was exposed. He was wearing it on the back of his pants, not the side like most cops. I remember finding that weird...

  • He finds you hot.

    0|0
    0|0
  • creep or mental illness thing

    0|0
    0|0
    • I hope it's not that. I don't get a psycho vibe or anything.

    • Show All
    • Great now I really feel old! How old are you? My oldest son is 17.

    • i'm 17 also , this week

  • A would be cheater sounds like. Do you want anything to do with that type?

    0|0
    0|0
    • No. I'm happily married to my husband. I was wanting a guys point of view on what this guy was doing. I get looks from guys, but this is a continuing thing that was happening even with my husband or his wife around. Not to mention at a place where I'm picking up my kids.

    • Men are visual, that's why you get the looks. Lol I never get looks cause I ain't hot. Women are visual creatures too

  • Plain and simple he wants to have sex with you! His sex life with his own mate must be stale so he sees you and his mind starts racing with ideas and he can't stop from staring. It's probably harmless desire on his part. I would just take it as a compliment because something about you is driving him crazy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're allowed to look, but not touch..we're all human, after all

    0|1
    1|0
  • Confront him, ask him why he doing it

    1|0
    0|0
  • Since you keep looking at him, he probably thinks you're attracted to him.

    0|2
    0|0
    • I don't look for him, I look up and there he is. But I am going to be careful not to look even remotely in his direction from now on.

  • He's just a creep that wants to bone you.

    1|0
    0|1

What Girls Said 5

  • It's what he views as a "safe" way to oogle something he finds attractive. Be careful to keep distance and not get to know him. Only bring a headache. Cozy up to his wife if you want and let her know you are not a threat and not interested.. (not specifically of course) last thing you want is for her to spread any rumors about you being a hussy, but keep him at bay! Enjoy the compliment, however creepy it is, that he finds you attractive.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for your answer! I was getting a little weirded out by his behavior but I will take it as a compliment. I do not encourage him and at least there are only two months left of school before summer break. Guys will give me looks sometimes but not as consistently as this guy. What a creeper, lol.

  • Give him the stink face every time you see him. Every time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • omg what a creep! The wife is obviously clueless... she should be giving him the stink eye not you! He sounds like the kind of guy that if you gave him a reaction he would just come on stronger, you need to avoid him and just ignore his creepiness if he does something really obviously disrespectful then stand up for yourself... There is just not much you can do since he is not saying anything.. If you accuse him of flirting with you he will probally just call you crazy..

    0|0
    0|0
    • You're probably right. He is so quiet, he doesn't talk much to the other parents. That's what makes him creepy I think. You know those quiet types that you can just feel are always thinking but you never know what? *shudder*. I would feel so awkward confronting him, lol.

  • Creepy but he might want an affair.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Call him out if it makes you uncomfortable

    Say, hi can I help you? He'll be embarrassed that he got negative attention and stop

    He's not going to do anything back, he don't want no problems with his wife and his kids go to that school

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...