What would you think of a husband who in the past 9 and present) has said these things
After my Mum died I was feeling depressed and lonely he told me to 'Not be so F***ing stupid' and that everyone felt that way.
Makes you feel 2inches tall just by looking at you.
After I make a statement about something tells me to not start picking an argument ( I'm the most laid back person! Even the Dr says I should be horizontal lol)
Can't understand why, now that everyones old enough to look after themselves, go back to having a social life. I started dancing once a week in Jan and have been out more times since then than I had in the past 10 yrs.
We had a joint birthday party but he never told anyone it was mine as well. (I know sounds petty).
I now realized that I've been distancing myself from him over the last few years and I#ve never really been emotionally close to him as he doesn't seem interested. Though now he tells me he loves me all the time but I feel that it's too late.
If your husband is pushing you down, especially after you have been struggling to cope with a death, he is not treating you right. That outright dismissal and condescension of your pain is emotional abuse, and you do not deserve that. Lacking an emotional connection just makes the situation lonelier and harder. Hang in there!
I couldn't put up with that at all! When I lost my mom my at the time partner used to get annoyed at me for grieving. I later found out he'd been sleeping with someone else. Thankfully I was not sleeping with him as I was clearly ill and had my suspicions. I am not saying your partner is cheating just telling you my experience. Best thing I ever done getting rid of him I can tell you. At the time when you need em the most they should be there tenfold. That's one of the points to having a partner!
Hmmm I don't want to defend his behavior if it's completely one-sided, but is it possible he too has some valid gripes relating to your behavior? Things you don't see as a fault (eg making a statement), but which he does (trying to pick a fight)?
I'm not saying it's NOT emotional abuse - what he said about your mum's passing was callous - but there's not enough info to really gauge.
Both partners in a relationship can gradually build up resentment over time, things they perceive as 'wrongs' which the other partner doesn't, and it can eventually reach an almost insurmountable level where they no longer care about trying to understand or accommodate the other person's perspective or feelings.