Is it wrong to look at my niece and nephew as a "trial run"

Ok, so being the youngest my older siblings have reached the child-rearing phase of their lives earlier than me. I had a beautiful niece born a few weeks ago (my brother's daughter-yay!) and am expecting a nephew by Christmas (my sister's son). I'm genuinely excited about getting to be part of their lives from the beginning, it's so cool!

But, I'll be honest, I'm not sure I want kids myself and I'm using caring for my niece and nephew and my experience with them as a trial run to see if I think it's what I want. Is that horrible?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nah, I was the same way. I liked to play with kids, but wasn't so sure I wanted to be a dad.

    I guess I just wasn't ready, like most guys.

    My younger sister was the first one of us to have a baby, who also never wanted the job of parenthood lol. It was after I got to know my nephew and saw how he grew up and took a liking to me, I knew I wanted to become a dad.

    Not long after that my wife got pregnant and I was counting the days, my daughter was born and I was pretty much hooked from day one. She's 2 now and has so much spunk and energy, I get lost sometimes hahaha. When they give you that loving affection and smile with so much joy, is the satisfaction you'll get out of being a parent and want to experience over and over again.

    This is just how I have experienced it day to day and in no way am I suggesting parenthood to anyone.

    Too QA, just care for your nieces and nephews and if it clicks it clicks and you'll know if this is what you want, if it doesn't no shame in that. Just become the cool aunt that always says yes and make it harder for the parents, by giving their kids sugar rushes.

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What Guys Said 6

  • First- congrats, Aunty Anon!

    ...and no, it's not at all horrible. Aunties do this ALL the time.

    My sister was the hands-on Mother-Of-All-Aunties (for years) with my kids. She even called them "my kids" (just a little oddly) on occasion.

    Since she (eventually) had a child of her own, we have seen little of her, in juxtaposition... since it now all goes to her own. However, she is still a great and loving aunt to "her 2 boys"...

    I have a close girlfriend who also does this now with HER baby nephew. I have seen it often. It's certainly got to be a common thing.

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  • No, it's reasonable to look at your siblings' situation and experience.

    Chances are your child bearing time will be generally similar, so getting a chance to see what it's about is advisable before you make any final decision about having kids yourself. Otherwise, you're engaging in guesswork when you ask yourself if having children would work for you.

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  • It's not horrible, but don't mistake your interaction with them for the reality of having your own kid. It's close, but at the end of the day, you hand the baby back.

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  • Its perfectly reasonable thing to do, and you shouldn't feel guilty at all. Nothing horrible about it. Knowing this from afar and actually experiencing it are two different things.

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  • Of course that is not horrible. It is a good barometer to see if you will want to have your own children.

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  • it seems as though, for some people, wanting kids, and not wanting kids, goes in phases. I personally don't want them right now (for a couple of reasons) but who knows, I may want them. women are more likely to want them because their biological clock tells them so

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    • then you clearly do not know the girls from this site, lol. If I had to guess, about 70% don't want anything to do with kids, let alone have their own.

    • the population of gag is : trolls, bitches, and a**holes. you can't really trust anything anybody on here says...

What Girls Said 5

  • That's what I did (I have a 3 year old niece) but I don't think I ever want to have kids, I don't have the energy

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  • Nope, I do the same with my nephew and nieces.

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  • no, why would that be. you are being mature about it seeing how much responsability a kid entakes.

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  • no, I do the same thing with my nephews

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  • no, its pretty normal, a lot of people do

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