Why am I always being passed up by women?

Alright let me first point out, I don't think I look good.

I am a 21 year old guy who is on his way to become a Firefighter, I'm intelligent , funny, sweet, kind, compassionate, and determined. Cowboy by birth, I have been around the ringer a few times from getting bucked off horses and bulls. I wear my cowboy hat where ever I go as well as my great grandfathers dog tags. Every time I go up to a girl and try to start up a conversation, they just look at me and laugh then walk away leaving me to wonder what the hell I am doing wrong.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • How are you approaching girls? And what kind of girls? Coming from a farmgirl... most people don't want this lifestyle and it makes dating really hard. Take a look at where you are going to approach these girls. I have zero luck in the city, most city guys don't want to go cruise down backroads on a Friday night, hang out around a bonfire and shoot cans off fenceposts. They don't want to saddle up on a Sunday afternoon and go ride for a couple hours. Figure out what you like, what you like doing and then approach girls in the same places you like to be. Maybe its a rodeo, horse show or whatever else you like to do.

    There are girls out there who like guys like you. We just happen to be a bit harder to find. Cowboy hats are hit and miss... I'm in farm country, I can only name one guy that can get away with wearing a cowboy hat. But my girlfriends out west tell me every guy out there has one on. You're more than likely just approaching the wrong girls because if you can ride a horse and treat a girl well, any girl around here would consider dating you.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Just like what the other girl said, it might be the way you approach them. We all have different types of boys.. What is a treasure for me might be a trash to another one.. What I'm saying is, maybe you haven't found your match yet.. Someone you could go along really well without you changing anything. But it would be good to change for the better as well, wherein you might consider the way you dress up, your hair, your kind of approach or anything else...

    BUT, for me, the best thing to do is just go on and try.. Those who laugh at you, shrug them off and move on to another one until you find someone who will take you seriously for who you are.. "Just the way you are".. :) I swear, once you find that one, I'm sure she'll be glad to know someone like you in a deep way :D Good luck!

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  • You sound like a good catch. I don't know why the girls are reacting that way, I'm sorry. :( Dating is really hard. Maybe not all girls are into the country thing? But honestly you shouldn't have to change yourself. I'm not into country music but I think the hats are fun for guys lol.

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  • I tend to turn men away a lot but I don't laugh at them! I can't say for sure why this is happening all I can tell you is what turns me off when men approach me. Firstly if they are sleazy and if they seem to be just trying to get in my pants! If they are overly nice I tend to walk away because its as if they are just being fake to try it with me! Woman know what men want first off and if they make you feel uncomfortable well bye bye mate.

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    • I'm not sleazy by any means, and the reason why I am nice si cause I was raised up to be a gentleman.

  • What do you say when you approach them?

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    • I either say Hi and try to strike up a convo or compliment them on their looks hair or what their wearing

  • well lose the cowboy hat

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  • maybe they just see you as that, show them you can be more that that

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  • Do you hit on cowgirls and hardcore country girls? Because the average person doesn't revere the lifestyle that you do. That doesn't make it bad, it just means it's not the most common persona these days. Statistically, of course, it's going to be harder to find a girl who is into the things that make you who you are. But she is out there having the same problem.

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  • Every girl might pass you up for a different reason. Perhaps its your approach or how you look? Personally, if you came up to me with a cowboy hat on I'd be nice but I would give a number. I just don't like country music, cowboy hate/boots,etc. Its not my style. I really don't like it actually. Also I was taught never to go out with a firefighter because that will be a stressful life and I might one day lose him. Also I'm more attracted to occupations that align with mine. My boyfriend and I are both going into the medical field, as is my sister and her bf.

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  • You're actually kind of hot... try smiling more.

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What Guys Said 9

  • First up, girls don't like hearing -- that negative stuff from a guy "I don't think I look good". Even if you're not you gotta fake it til you make it.

    Other reasons why:

    Your style: It could be that your style doesn't evoke enough emotion from a chick. It does make a difference.

    Types of girls: It could be that the girls you are going for aren't into guys like yourself. It's just a compatibility thing. Sometimes you gotta date a thousand chicks to find someone that you click with.

    TLDR: change a few things and see what happens

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  • Are you getting shot down a few times a day, or a few times a year? How many girls are you hitting on? What age girls? And do you live in an area where cowboys are somewhat normal?

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  • cus you wear a cowboy hat and dog tags. that's probably the most lame way to approach a woman you could think of

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  • You're both a cowboy AND a firefighter!

    Just hang in there for a few more years, keep doing what you're doing, and watch them queue up for you like mac fans at an iphone release.

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  • Looks. Women find 80% of men below average looking. Don't worry though, at some time between 25 and 30 and they usually get bored of being used for sex by good looking men and their looks begin to decline rapidly, then they will suddenly be interested. They won't have sex with you much though, just marry you and get you to raise some kids.

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    • Who told you this! You're too young to be aware of it :p

      In any case he's a cowboy firefighter, he just needs to find a girl with a cowboy or firefighter fetish, or both. Ideally both. She'd never leave him.

  • you look good may be the hat or your attitude, I mean the way you approach and the place.

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  • It's NOT enough simply to approach a girl. You need to work on your techniques. Learn from guys who are frequently successful in their approaches. It sounds like you might be coming across as too nice. If a woman considered you to be a real man, she wouldn't dare laugh at you (even if she didn't like you). You need to project masculinity.

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  • " what the hell I am doing wrong."

    "I wear my cowboy hat where ever I go"

    I would start with this.

    Lose the cowboy hat.

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  • The cowboy hat is a little ridiculous, no offense. Especially if you're wearing glasses and you're under 24. The dog tags are a good way to honor your great-grandad, but if they're jangling around in plain sight that isn't very cool, especially if you're wearing the hat.

    Judging by your pic, you should maybe change your fashion style? You don't look bad...but you don't have the cowboy "look". Also, if you don't think you look good it probably gets revealed in the conversation somehow

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    • Can I ask something? What part of Cowboy by birth didn't comprehend? I ride and break horses and I compete in horse shows, not so much rodeos anymore. And the dog tags stay in plain view cause that's my preference. And what makes you think I don't wear contacts, cause I do.

    • Doesn't matter about how much you do it, your picture makes you look like a bookworm or computer nerd..but then again it's only one pic. I still stand by what I said about how ridiculous the hat and dog tags are, if you're not willing to ditch those then perhaps girls will keep passing you up, idk

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