Do you consider hating your height, eye color, hair color, breast size, etc self hate?

I'm just talking about features/appearance wise. To me, self hate is when you hate something about yourself. You feel like you would be better if you looked this or that way.

Whenever I hear people mention "self hate" I only hear it applied to races or skin color, sometimes hair texture. I hardly to never hear it applied to minor* things such as height, hair color, breast size, nose jobs, lip injections etc.

Me, I feel like its is. I don't think its an extreme form of self hate, but its still self hate, especially you dwell on them (when they were not bad from the start) and go out your way to (sometimes almost) permanently change them.

Yes I do realize that changing your eye color (with contacts) or dying your hair doesn't automatically mean that you hate yourself or that feature about you. When some people do this, its more like accessorizing. It just really depends on your mind set. Like if you call revealing your true hair color or eye color, than yes it a form of self hate.




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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've never heard self-hate been applied generally to things like race. But yeah I'm in a continuous cycle of self-hate. I've wanted to change every single cell of my being at one time or another. And I know it's ridiculous. For example, I am 5'7 and 47kg. I have spent most of my time wishing I was a little taller. Today I found myself wishing I was one of those 5ft girls because I'd be so much smaller and it'd make guys feel more masculine and want to carry me to bed and protect me. I quickly interrupted this thought pattern when I saw how crazy it was that I now wanted to be shorter and had to remind myself that just being taller doesn't make me un-liftable at 47kg. So basically I now know I would never see my own attraction.

    But don't listen to me. I have critically low self-esteem. I see myself as hideous and everyone else is scarily attracted to me. It's a complex place to be. Nobody understands that I can't believe the compliments or how crazy they sound to the girl who thinks she looks like a beast. I find it easier to believe the older women who stop me in the street to tell me I'm lovely than people who may have some reason to butter me up.

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    • I can relate to you about the height and compliments. I'm about 5'7" and I wish I was taller but at the same time it kinda sucks because most guys I'm attracted to are about the same height or shorter. The super tall ones seem to want super short ones. I have a hard time taking compliments to. I don't think I'm ugly but, decent looking. So when people tell me that I look pretty/ cute/beautiful, it feels like they aren't being sincere. As if they are telling because it they like its something..

    • I need to hear to make me feel better :/

    • Exactly why I can only take it from strangers who stop me to compliment me. And they must be female so it's not a chat up and have no other reason to interact with me. If they're serving me they're just being good sales people. I had a model scout approach me and I thought she was having a joke at my expense or perhaps needed glasses.

What Guys Said 5

  • I often hear "self hate" being applied in the way that you are discussing. In real life I rarely encounter "self hate" when it comes to race or skin color. Not sure where you live though. Many people that are unhappy with their appearance are full of hate towards themselves but it is a deeper issue than that. Most people that self hate are raised without love or have done things that they regret very much in life. There are of course other reasons too but that is most of it. There is no reason to hate yourself based upon your looks because looks eventually fade and one must accept themselves as early as possible because you are dealt what you are dealt. There is plastic surgery but you cannot get plastic surgery on your morals, heart and ethics.

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    • There are only a hand full of people I can think of that hates their skin color. It could be more, but I haven't heard a lot of people vocalize it. . Sometimes, its society, the media influence that self hate. And I agree with you. Plastic surgeons and products can "fix" what's on the outside, but no what's on the inside. But hey, why try fixing what's not broken

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    • Lol that would be cool. We need more physically colorful skinned people in the world. I see a trend starting

    • Purple people eaters!

  • I do not believe it is. I hate my own voice. I do not necessarily hate myself. I suppose that it is something that is up to debate. I feel you are ... correct somewhere in my mind though. I also hate how I type what I think as I think it. Now that I think about it I don't know what to make of such a situation.

    You are probably right.

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    • I was just talking about physical things lol. Your voice I don't if that could be considered that or not. I guess it could be if you hate your accent, you know because everyone has an accent to another.

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    • Probably not. You will be famous someday so do coin it if you would.

    • You can co-sign :)

  • Certain parts of me I don't like but it's mostly personality stuff

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    • What don't you like about yourself personality wise?

  • Everybody hates things about themselves. I hate stuff about me but I don't dwell on it because there isn't much I can do. I try to highlight my best features so others look past my worst but honestly people don't look at you the way you look at yourself so that's why I don't worry so much. I just do the best I can for myself and stay positive.

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    • Thats what I think, everyone hates something about themselves. But I don't think self hate equals hating your entire self.

    • No, you just can't worry and do the best you can :)

  • I guess so.

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What Girls Said 13

  • It's self hate.

    If someone dyes their hair color to a crazy extent ex)frying their natural brown hair to become a blond or frying their naturally curly hair by straightening it every day

    A little change isn't self hate but when a person mutilates a part(extension) of their body because they hate the natural thing so much...

    I have curly hair that seems to disobey the laws of physics but I don't straighten it everyday or chemically change it :) all my bad hair days have made me fond of my quirky hair

    And that applies to people who don't like their nose, lips, height, breasts...make the thing you don't like an advantage

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  • Yes I would consider all of this a form of self hating. instead of embracing what you have you're worrying about what you could look like. I'm sure almost everyone is guilty of this, myself included. There are many things I sometimes think about that I wish I could change but I try really hard to just accept things and be confident.

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  • It is definitely a form of self hatred, but like you said, it comes in degrees. It is definitely self-hatred since it is self-deprecating. It's not recognizing your worth. I dislike my thighs; they're a little too big. Sometimes I dislike my large rear. And I wish my breasts were a cup size larger. Oh, and if I could (aka if it didn't hurt/freak me out), I'd get a nose job. But none of that really matters. What I should recognize is that I am a beautiful, intelligent, dignified human being.

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    • You sound like me when it comes to the breast , rear and thighs. I've felt the same way about my nose. I love it a whole lot better than I used to when I was younger. Sometimes today, I do have those self conscious moments. By the way, there is a way you can change it, depending how you change it, without going under the knife. I thought about it, but at the same time I'm like heck no. I feel like going against what society views as the ideal nose, is my way of rebelling :p

    • I'm comfortable enough with myself to not really change myself, but like you, I do have my moments. I'm perfectly capable of standing in front of a mirror and saying, "Well, let's start at the toes... ankles could be thinner. Knees are knobbly. Thighs - WHOAH GINORMOUS!"

      But we are ALL beautiful. Own it, girl.

  • No, in my opinion self-hate is a term much too overused, particularly among those with strong feelings towards a certain topic.

    For example, if a woman feels strongly about plastic surgery and in her mind(or openly) condemns those who opt for plastic surgery, she may be inclined to label those who do get surgery as self-hating.

    If a person feels strongly about race and culture and believes that people of all races should meet certain qualifications in order to (maybe subconsciously) prove they are accepting of their race, they may label those who do not meet those qualifications as self-hating.

    I think self-hate is about hating yourself and who you are. Now, that self-hatred could also include your physical appearance, but self-hate is more about the soul and your inner self than anything else. There are people who genuinely hate themselves and who they are. They may think they are worthless, unworthy of love and respect and may think that no amount of improvement will make them worthy enough to accept themselves as who they are.

    For some reason we avoid talking about the hate a person may feel towards themselves and we focus on superficial forms of "self-hatred" such as race, ethnicity, skin color and hair. I guess we speak of these because it's easier to deal with. It's easier to place the blame on these forms of self-hatred on the media, magazines, the opposite sex, celebrities or technology.

    However, self-hate actually means having to admit to a bad environment, lac of involved parenting, bad parenting and possibly sensitive topics such as emotional, physical or sexual abuse.

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  • by definition,hating something about you would be self hate-but people often use ''hate'' just to express that something could be better,self hate would be an extreme dislike of something about you.

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  • I wouldn't say I hate myself but seeing a girl more beautiful makes me want me to be more like her, have her hair, body type, but then that feeling passes, it's more like I'd love to get attention like she probably does, but I know that attention wouldn't actually make me happy. Because you can be really beautiful but if you have no one to share it with and you're alone then it doesn't really matter. In general I like who I am but sometimes I wish I were different.

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  • I hate my eyes

    I have hazel eyes, but I want blue

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    • I think hazel look better

    • I guess. I get complimented on them all the time, but I think it's an ugly color

      I would love green or blue eyes like Angie Jolie

    • I know that's how you feel, but think about it this way, I know I lot of people to have eyes like yours. Hazel colored contacts are quite popular

  • i don't think so

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    • Why not, if you don't mind me asking. I'm not arguing with you are anything, or trying to. Just want to know you're reason for thinking so. There's no right or wrong answer because its the way you feel

  • yes its a type of it.

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  • i think it is a form of self hate

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  • it is self hate, I do it all the time.

    I have a big nose, I'm too short, too thin, no boobs, no ass, nobody will want me and I hate it so much.

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    • Even though you don't like those things about yourself, I'm sure someone likes them or admires them or don't even seem them as a problem. Haters are more vocal than admirers.

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    • Because you never heard it, doesn't mean someone isn't thinking it :)

    • I really doubt it

  • I think its self hate when you constantly say you want to change one or several things about yourself and you complain about that all the time. Or if you do extreme things to change those things you hate. So I agree with you on that one.

    Me for example, there are some things I would change about myself (hair color, shape of the eyes, nose for example) but I don't talk about that all day long, nor do I complain about it. And I would NEVER do anything to change those things, even if I know I could look better. I just accept it and try to dwell on the good things I have, and sometimes, I even feel pretty haha

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    • I don't want to say some self hate is normal, but its not uncommon for people. Some aren't as bad as others. No one likes themselves 100% of the time. But yeah like you said, even if you don't change it, if you complain about it alot, its also self hate.

  • Yes, of course.

    If you hate something about yourself, that's self hate. By definition :-)

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    • Lol that's what I was thinking. I know this is petty, but I got into argument with someone about this, that's why I was asking GaG.

    • I do that too.

      Real life argument shocks me so I bring the topic here, haha!

    • Lol I'm glad I'm not the only one

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