Smoker, significant other isnt...vice versa. How do you feel about it?

I understand that smoking isn't good for you. And I understand that non smokers really hate the smell of cigarettes. I don't blame them one bit. When I met my boyfriend, he didn't really smoke. He used to but had quit. I liked that about him. I smoke. He became a full time smoker again then recently "quit". He quit buying them but he takes one from me in the mornings and has a few in the evenings. Twice we have had the conversation about me quitting. I said I would when I got pregnant, but until then I don't really want to. Id like to cut back, but not quit. He is absolutely disgusted that I don't want to quit. The looks he gives me are looks as if I said I don't want to quit killing baby animals...you know? I love baby animals by the way. Anyways, each time he has been smoking a cigarette during these conversations. How do you feel about it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "I understand that non smokers really hate the smell of cigarettes."

    I'm a non-smoker and I love the smell of both the tobacco itself and the smoke. I much prefer the smell of tobacco smoke over smells like perfume. Perfume makes me sick. However old stale smoke on clothes can get pretty rank. I think smokers just need to be extra careful about washing clothes, especially things like jackets and coats that normally don't get washed often.

    Anyway, yea it can be a problem with one smoker and one non-smoker. If he's trying to quit having another smoker around can make it that much more difficult. It's just something that two people need to be compatible about.

    Just because you smoked when he met you doesn't mean much. People are allowed to change, especially when it's a change for the better.

    It's pretty rare for someone to be a part time smoker and keep it up. I've only known one person who smoked part time and kept it up for several years without becoming a full time smoker.

    I wouldn't like it if my SO smoked but it wouldn't be a deal breaker. However smoking inside would not be acceptable. She'd have to go outside to do it.

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What Guys Said 2

  • tobacco use is disgusting. The smell is so repulsive and its so unattractive. A guy I work with smokes and when he comes to sit down next to me all I smell is ash it is so nasty. The taste when you kiss someone, the smell when you hug someone, bleh! It is so bad for you're health and it is costly. He should be mad you made his start smoking, and won't quit is sad. yeah you have that right to do what you want it is your body but one person cannot quit if the other smokes. That is probably a big deal to him and he probably won't stay with you that long for it. I could date a smoker for a while but they would either quit or I bounce. I would be disgusted if you wouldn't want to do something to better yourself then either. just quit it is the best thing you can do

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    • You are absolutely right. At the same time, I smoked when he met me. It's just a little hypocritical of him to be literally be smoking a cigarette while he is telling me how I should quit. I wish I had never started. I appreciate your response!

  • If my significant other is a smoker, then it's a clear sign that the relationship will be ending.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I've never smoked a cigarette in my life and I did initially inherit my parent's profound disgust over the habit and smell of it.

    But I've noticed that some brands actually smell good to me.

    I always thought if my boyfriend smoked it would bother me a lot, but now that I have one, and he smokes 2-3 cigarettes a day, I can honestly say I don't mind it in the least. I'm worried about his health, but that's it. When the smell lingers on his clothes, fingers and breath, it's not a turn off, it just smells like part of HIM. I associate it with him and it creates a comforting feeling.

    The combination of his body wash, deodorant, cigarette smoke and something all him is the perfect mixture of scent that defines him.

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  • well he needs to respect your decisions and support you. he's just mean becuase he feels he has to stop.

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  • How do I feel about it?

    I don't mean to be harsh, but smoking is disgusting. Not only is the smell awful, but the smoke stays on you and the smoker. Smokers often stink and their hair stinks. I can count the number of times I've walked by someone and they reeked of cigarrettes! It's unhealthy for the person and for the second hand smoker. It's just not attractive and I think it makes them look weak in a way like they're not strong enough to choose a healthier lifestyle.

    But seeing as he is a smoker too, I think he's an outright hypocrite and he should be called out on that.

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  • i wouldn't mind it at all actually. its his life.

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