Would it be easier to get a date/girlfriend/partner/wife in a different country?

I'm sure you have all seen the fat/old men who have younger and more attractive Thai/Philippine girlfriends/wives. Are they basically just long term prostitutes? Or do they genuinely desire European men that badly?

Basically women in the UK only want men they can use as fashion accessories or status symbols and have absolutely no use or desire for unattractive men like me. Is there any hope abroad or would I only find gold diggers/women looking to immigrate?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's two ways to go about this, and the results are usually very different.

    The "right" way is to live in the country for a while, and meet real, normal girls just like you would in the US. You need to spend some real time there, to learn their culture and traditions and social expectations, and you need to spend enough time to get to know them, know their family, and make sure the two of you are compatible. Such relationships tend to be successful.

    The "wrong" way is to meet some bar girl on a trip (or online), marry her with only a short time of being physically together, and move her "home" with you. In this situation, you ARE essentially getting a long-term prostitute. Many women in poorer countries will be encouraged to marry a "rich" American (most men who can afford to travel there are decently well-off, especially by their standards) by their families, but it's really for the purpose of getting her a green-card, which will in turn allow her to sponsor getting her other family members to the US. Typically, once she has a green card, she will insist, for one reason or another, that her mother MUST come to the US. She will be sick, or there will be a baby that needs care, or something, and the man will be strongly influenced to help mom come over. Once mom is here, the clock is usually ticking for the divorce, and often the woman will try to get as much money out of the guy as possible. It's a very common tale.

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    • What I'm asking is whether its easier to date normal women in certain foreign countries. Essentially would a guy who can't get a date in his own country be able to do it the 'right' way.

    • It might be a little easier in some areas (maybe you'd feel more confidence or something), but it's always going to be harder because of the culture barrier. While eastern women tend to be more accepting of traditional gender roles (stay-at-home wife who takes care of the husband, who earns the money), the bottom line is that if you have limited social skills with women in the US, you aren't going to magically have great social skills in another country.

    • So, it might be easy to "get" SOME girls, because those girls will pursue you, and take the initiative to get to know you, and try to treat you like a king to get you interested, in almost every case, you will be dealing with the "long-term prostitute" type of women, who are looking to get to get themselves and their family to the US, and don't mind doing whatever it takes to get that (for the few years it takes to get it done, anyway). In the end, you'll just be used for your money and access.

What Girls Said 6

  • They either:

    A) Are gold diggers

    B) Looking for a green card

    C) Are genuinely attracted to the man

    And I think in "most" cases it's either A or B.

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  • Funny how most of the girls answered by generalizing. On the contrary, not all Asian women are like that. In my opinion there are actually 3 types of Asian women because in Asia, cause the gap between each social classes is quite wide.

    First is the one you mentioned. Yes you can find the desperate gold diggers looking for a better living financially and hoping to get a better "social status" by hooking up/marrying a white guy, as they think white guys have higher social status and more money. They usually come from small towns or villages with poor education and financial condition. They got not brain, no manners, and are willing to spread their legs for any white guys (hot ones if they're lucky enough). Better yet, they would be the ones to approach you and make the moves. So yeah, if you choose the quick way and these type of girls, you got yourself a long term prostitutes. But people will surely look down on you and you get yourself a pathetic label.

    The second ones are actually the socialites. The ones with ridiculously endless wealth and already have that social status. Daddy's girls who are allowed to do anything as they please that they sleep around and are easy to lure. A lot of them socializes with expats (which are mostly white people) to gain even "higher" social status. Thinking that it's so much cooler to have friends or partners who are white.

    The last one are the normal girls. Just like any other girls around the globe. They are educated, and are attracted to you as a human being, not because you are white. So if you want a decent girl I suggest you move to the country, try to blend in, get to know the people, and try to go out with a girl.

    So to sum up the answer, no, it wouldn't be easier. There's no easy and instant way for love. You gotta fight for it.

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  • Yes, Asian women (poor ones in particular) do worship white guys, and when they marry white guys it's typically unattractive ones

    So if you think that's your best option, fine. Unless you have money then the woman can't really be a golddigger. Gold digging would be marrying Rupert Murdoch lulz

    In reality, they just want their greencard and somewhere to start. Long term prostitutes, yes indeed.

    And those women are typically unattractive...and they're considered unattractive in their home countries. Only desperate white guys find them attractive.

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    • I didn't say anything about getting attractive women. I'm not too bothered about that. Also I'd say they are more attractive than most women here since they aren't usually overweight.

    • It doesn't change the fact that the ones who end up with guys are usually butt ass ugly...and typically undesired by the men in their own countries

  • It would be easier since Asian women are up for it as long as he's a white guy.

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  • A mail order bride? Lol they usually just want a free ticket to the US and a lot of men are too stupid to realize it.

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  • Most of them want money and a greencard to the US

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    • I guess. Is it possible some of them marry for the money but not as an actual financial transaction? I would probably be okay with that as its better than being lonely.

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    • over 300? how is that even possible?

    • Just over 250 messages sent on online dating. Then 50-60 from going out lots and talking to women whenever. Its really not that difficult to do actually.

What Guys Said 5

  • I can't think of women from any culture who wants to be thought of as whores. Just not right. With that said, there are plenty of women from poorer countries who seek a western man as a way out. Are they all like this? Of course not, just the ones you hear bad stories about. One really can't blame them however: if we came from such a sh*tty environment, we'd do whatever it took to get out as well.

    A western man must be careful about gold diggers as there are lots of them. If you really want a Southeast Asian woman (Phils, Thai, Vietnam, Cambodia, Indo, Malay, Lao, Burmese), best to find one who is already educated. Avoid the barely legal teens and the uneducated, these are mostly gold diggers. A chick who is a teacher, etc. are more opt to be genuine about their feelings for foreign men as they really don't need your help, they normally want YOU instead.

    Dude, few women from ANY culture wants ugly men. Just as men normally would take an ugly fat chick out to the woodshed and shoot 'em. If a person is unattractive, it takes a lot to overcome this and I mean a lot. Asian women have their pride also, just not as arrogant about it as others. Do not mix the SE Asians with East Asian women(Japan, China, Korea, Taiwan). Now they tend to act more like western hos, being exposed to western feminism as well. The traditional, conservative educated women are just as picky and independent as any western woman. It's the less educated ones who tend to be a bit more gold digging.

    It all comes down to how you can overcome your attractiveness. Look at me, my reality check score is about as bad as a cop without donuts. How do I compensate? A tremendous sense of humor, kindness to women(even though I'm too nice...), going for a higher education, learning a foreign language and using it to chat with appropriate foreign women and targetting the Canadian sex workers. Gotta try your best, be positive and target the best female markets. Finally, just hang out with whomever is kind to you regardless of how attractive or unattractive a woman may be. There is no law that says your sex partner/one-nighter/lover/wife is supposed to be a local.

    Good luck, hope this helps.

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    • I think you hit a key point. Few women from any culture want an ugly men. Also, few women want incompetent men or men with major personality flaws

      If he's a constant debbie downer, then that's a universal turn off.

    • I don't particularly want south east Asian women. They are just who came to mind as an example.

      My question isn't about how to be attractive. In fact pickledxtofu and others seem determined to tell me I have an awful personality as well as my ugly face. What I want to know is will many foreign women overlook a man being unattractive becuase he is from a different country?

    • Some women from foreign cultures honestly look at personality more so than western women. Take Chinese for hypothetical example. If you know some of their language, history and culture, just approach any given woman and hold a conversation by introduction in Chinese. It really works!

  • It says a lot about your character to want love to come easy.

    If you want real everlasting love then you have to be willing to admit your faults and resolve your issues with humbleness and perseverance. That's how you grow up and become a man capable of loving and being loved.

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    • Admitting my faults won't make them go away. Admitting I have recessed jaws, a big nose and below average height doesn't make me more attractive.

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    • From my experience it completely does correlate though. I don't get dates online, I don't get dates in person. I know good looking men can get dates online, I see them with women in person, yet none of my unattractive mates have girlfriends. Coincidence?

    • What exactly is your selling point besides pictures and a pulse?

      There is none. If you had an attitude that people actually find tolerable, you'd have a girlfriend. No matter what excuse or anecdote you come up with, there's a loving couple proving you wrong.

  • It's poor women from other countries that are looking for an out. A big rich Brit or American comes along and takes them to where they can live a life of luxury. I'd love to go to Poland and meet a beautiful Polish girl that I can bring back with me. The difference between these women and gold diggers is that these women actually love the mad they are with vs gold diggers just want the money.

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  • mail order brides? are basically are just long term prostitutes...

    when I lived in NZ I would get women just because I had an American accent which was different to them and they loved it...

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    • I don't buy that. An accent might make someone slightly more attractive but I doubt any women would date/shag an ugly guy just for his accent.

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    • I'll repeat... When I used the same profile and messages on online dating but with different pictures I did well. The problem is I am not good enough looking to date women.

      How could my approach be the problem in that situation?

    • if you used pictures on the online account then they would've seen you no? so how can you be not good looking enough if they saw your picture and you did "well"?

  • I've heard from people that travel from here (the States) to places in Europe have found that women have a much different, more refreshing attitude over American girls and women. One friend in particular mentioned that they talk to you like they are actually human beings and don't play all these silly mind/social games with you like American girls might. Of course in that discussion, we mentioned and agreed that perhaps that behavior is partly the fault of American men acting the way they do.

    But yeah, I've heard a lot about European women (from people that have actually been there) that have said they are very charming and enjoyable to interact with.

    Maybe English women are different in ways from mainland European women? You are the one that can verify or deny this, but I've heard that the UK is the least like any other European country and is more similar to the US than other Euros?

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