I left my ex about two months ago. He had a bit of a temper which caused a lot of unnecessary arguments. He'd get cranky over nothing, I'd had enough of it, so I left.
After a brief period of no contact lasting about two weeks, he got back in touch with me. He's been charming, the boy I know when the temper is away.
Fast forward to now. He called me to ask about some casual stuff. After talking for a while he started telling me how he stumbled across a photo of us and how he missed me. Suddenly, he got really sincere and started stumbling over his words telling me how much he missed me and no one got him like I did. Sounded like he was going to cry and was nervous. He then started telling me about how he had been angry, and leading into talking about his temper. I stopped him and told him we should talk about it in person.
So, we're going to meet up soon. I'm hesitant. I love him, but will not be treated poorly every time he throws a tantrum. So, what are your opinions on this? Thanks guys!
perfectly fine to meet him just don't get swept up in the emotions he expressed. consider them but don't be blinded by the reality. it's a good sign that he loves you so dearly (it seems clear that he does) but the fact is he has a temper and until he learns to manage it simply loving you won't make things work.
if the temper is something that recurred frequently in your relationship, which it sounds like you did, I'd want him to address that issue, figure otu a way to work on it and then if I decided to get back together with I'd be very conscientious about it.
People can change, and love can be a great motivator but they have to accept their problem first and then be committed whole heartedly to trying to fix the problem.
I don't mean to sound pessimistic because I do think people can change, but in my experience I've never seen a situation like this turn out well. When someone changes, it's usually in one of these scenarios: 1) It was a one time mistake that they never repeated 2) It took a long time apart for them to fully change or 3) The person they hurt never forgave them and they are starting over with someone new.
Just being honest as someone that has watched this happen with others, and as someone that has been there before, I've NEVER seen a guy alter behavior like that in 2 months apart. They know how to say all the right things and be extremely convincing (which is actually more hurtful since you know they can flip the switch when they want to, they just choose not to). But in the end, he will do act that way again if you get back together. I can almost guarantee it.
OMG! I am in the same damn boat. You have every reason to be reluctant. I say go ahead and meet him in person. Who knows? He could have honestly changed. Don't rush into anything. Let him do majority of the talking. Just hear what he has to say and pay attention to his words and actions. Don't try to bring up too much of what happened in the past. If you really want to rekindle the relationship, offer to take things slow with him...let him show you if he has changed or not. You know the saying...actions speak louder than words. And kudos to you for letting him know that you will not tolerate any disrespect or unnecessary drama. You go girl--it took me a while to build up that courage.