What makes someone confident?

1. looking at the mirror and knowing you're good looking?

2. getting constant attention from members of the opposite sex?

3. telling yourself how great you are whenever you do something well?

4. what else?

Also, how would you rate how important each one is in determining one's self confidence?


Most Helpful Guy

  • None of these work and all of them are a different type of flaw that fights the nature of Confidence and Self-Esteem.

    Number one works against confidence by proposing that repetition and recognition are the means when as a matter of fact they are the direct opposite; confidence is grown, and like anything else, must be cultivated. You do not plant a seed in the dirt and shout "grow" at it repeatedly with expectations of success, correct? The same thing here; people who attempt without actions to back to tell themselves one thing or the other will fail miserably.

    Number two works against confidence by proposition that external stimuli can convert internal stimuli. Much like our seed in the garden the fact that you water all of his brethren but leave him to thirst will not grow him into a flower. The fact that his brethren see what the flower could be, but the seed thirsts, is the same thing. When people around you give you a small ego boost it fades because the seed is dry, and you either don't believe what they are saying or believe it is standard or presumptuous or worse just speaking on potential.

    Number three works against confidence by giving self-praise that may not be appropriate. There is nothing wrong with recognition for a great deed but a great deed is not equivalent to something that should be expected. You get an A on your a test of your favorite subject with something you've done a million times before and still give yourself a gold star? Why? This behavior is pretty common where people build their trough for the seed of confidence out of junk wood and then when the wood rots they are surprised but no one else is. It is not a sturdy object because the conquests themselves are lackluster; a common element of this is when people congratulate themselves on small steps that honestly aren't major such as the will to exercise once rather than the will to see an entire week through.

    These are the enemies of confidence. If you wish to improve your self-confidence do the opposite of all of these things. Seek it within yourself so that your seed's bloom may not be that of a phantom and disappear when put to the test. Praise yourself for what you have done and not vice versa so that your three may have a strong base and it will not blow over in the face of a storm. Ensure that what you do is valid and admirable and truly a task that raises you to a new limit so that when the weather is dry you do not thirst and when the weather is wet you do not drown.


What Girls Said 2

  • I don't believe any of those really make people confident. I believe confidence is something internal, being capable of believing in yourself - rather than getting attention and approval from others. Maybe attention and approval help building up one's confidence to an extent, but it doesn't and won't work at all if the person who is on the receiving end doesn't actually believe in any of it. After all, there are tons of people who are always told that they're so clever/funny/pretty/handsome/amazing, yet they doubt themselves and have no confidence whatsoever. Being confident, to me, is like being in a mental state of acceptance of yourself, and not being afraid to show how comfortable you are in your own skin.

  • 3. telling yourself how great you are whenever you do something well?

    Yes, when I am successful at a lot of things and always win in the end, this makes me feel more confident.


What Guys Said 2

  • they are all equally important and also feeling healthy and great is the only other one I can think of

    i I had to choose id say the first two then my idea telling your self your awesome is kinda self centered but might help if you have confidence issues

  • 1- important

    2- important

    3- perhaps for some people

    4- just knowing that you're the sh*t

    confidence comes from whatever makes you feel good about yourself